While You Were Gone
by LauraACullen
Summary: What if the wolves didn't get to Bella before Laurent bit her? This is the story of Bella being changed despite Edward leaving to prevent it. How will her change impact their chance for a future together? Rated M; not for younger readers.
1. Chapter 1: The Meadow

This story is an Alternate Universe New Moon fan fiction. The story picks up the March after Edward's departure before the cliff diving and Alice's return. Hope you enjoy!

Most of Bella's POV in this chapter closely mirrors and in some cases follows verbatim pages 232-242 of New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended. The segue from the original material was necessary in order to setup this alternate universe premise. Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters and content.

* * *

BPOV

I parked in the usual spot, spending a good fifteen minutes studying the little needle on my compass face and the markings on a worn map. I was trying to find somewhere where his presence still existed, somewhere other than inside me. There was one place above all others where that might hold true. I had seen his beautiful meadow only once in my life, lit by sunshine and the sparkle of his skin. I wanted, needed, to find it again.

Jacob Black was helping me. Well, he had helped me. Now he was mad at me, or ignoring me, or both. Maybe he was taking my advice and not wasting any more time on someone who couldn't return his feelings. But that left me with this completely empty Saturday. Charlie was fishing. And my former best friend was avoiding me. Idle time was not a good idea for me. So here I was trudging through the forest.

This was the first time I had traveled through these woods alone. The first time, _he_ had patiently and quietly guided me through the forest. The second time, Jacob whistled and chatted as we hiked, making the forest feel friendly and vibrant. Alone, the forest seemed quiet and, I realized, a little creepy. The further I walked, the more aware I became of how loud my footsteps reverberated among the trees. Even my breathing sounded loud.

As I trudged on, I became aware of the hole in my chest and wrapped my arms tight around my torso. I tried to focus on the rhythm of my footsteps and my breathing to distract myself from the pain. This had been a bad idea. I wasn't sure how far I had gone, maybe four miles given the time. I almost turned around, but I hated to waste the effort I had already expended.

Just as I was debating, I stepped through a low arch made by two vine maples—pushing past the chest-high ferns—into the meadow.

I had found it. It was the same place, of that I was instantly sure. To the east, I could hear the stream bubbling quietly.

But it was different too. The sunlight was missing, as were the wildflowers. Without them, the meadow lost some of its splendor. The ground was thick with tall grass that swayed in the light breeze. And, mostly, it didn't hold what I had been searching for.

The disappointment was instantaneous and crushing. I sank down right where I was, kneeling there at the edge of the clearing, beginning to gasp. I was thankful that Jacob hadn't come with me after all. I couldn't imagine how I would explain the way I was fracturing into pieces or the fact that I wanted to leave immediately. I was struggling to force myself out of the ball so that I could escape. The pain in this empty place was too much to bear—I would crawl away if I had to.

How lucky that I was alone!

_Alone_. I repeated the word with grim satisfaction as I wrenched myself to my feet despite the pain. At precisely that moment, a figure stepped out from the trees to the north, some thirty paces away.

I was surprised—I was far from any trail here and didn't expect company. Then, as my eyes focused on the motionless figure, seeing the utter stillness and the pallid skin, a rush of piercing hope rocked through me. Finally, I became fearful—this face wasn't the one I wanted to see. And the figure's eyes connected with some primal fear center in my brain. They glowed dark red.

I recognized the vampire before me.

"Laurent?" My voice was tentative, but then I smiled. Maybe he knew…something…? I remembered that Laurent had been interested in _their_ civilized lifestyle and had left their house in search of the Denalis' coven in Alaska the night James began pursuing me. God that seemed like a long time ago.

"Bella?" he asked, looking more astonished than I felt.

"You remember." I smiled. It was ridiculous that I should be so elated because a vampire knew my name. But his presence before me confirmed that I hadn't simply imagined it all.

He grinned. "I didn't expect to see you here." He strolled toward me.

"Isn't it the other way around? I live here. I thought you'd gone to Alaska."

He stopped about ten paces away, cocking his head to the side. "You're right," he agreed. "I did go to Alaska. Still, I didn't expect….When I found the Cullen place empty, I thought they'd moved on."

"Oh." Hearing their name ripped at the raw edges of my wound. I took a deep breath. "They did move on," I finally managed.

"Hmm," he murmured. "I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?"

"Something like that." I looked down at my feet.

"Hmm," he said, thoughtful again. I looked back up, he had taken several steps towards me. I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck. Suddenly my heart was beating against my rib cage. I was sure he could hear it. I blushed. These were all the reactions a human was supposed to have to a vampire, ones I never had around them, because they were different. I took an involuntary step back, and his curious dark red eyes followed the movement.

"Do they visit often?" he asked, still casual, but his weight shifted toward me.

"Lie," the beautiful velvet voice whispered anxiously from my memory.

I started at the sound of _his_ voice, but it should not have surprised me. I had first heard his voice in Port Angeles the night I approached the strange men in front of the bar, and even since I found I could coax it out of my brain by putting myself in danger. And, was I not now in the worst danger imaginable?

"Now and again. The time seems longer to me, I imagine. You know how they get distracted…." I tried to make my voice sound light.

"Hmm," he said again. "The house smelled like it had been vacant for a while…."

"You must lie better than that, Bella," the voice urged.

I tried. "I'll have to mention to Carlisle that you stopped by. He'll be sorry they missed your visit." I took a small step backward; his eyes caught the movement. "So, how are things working out in Denali?"

The question made him pause. "I like Tanya very much…and her sister Irina even more. But the restrictions are difficult. I'm surprised any of them can keep it up so long." He smiled at me conspiratorially. "Sometimes I cheat."

"Oh—"

He cut me off. "Bella, I'm afraid I have to apologize." He took a step closer.

"Apologize?" My voice was too high.

"Yes, and Victoria won't be happy about this either."

The name shocked me. "About what?"

"About me killing you," he answered in a seductive purr.

I staggered back another step.

"Victoria really wanted you for herself, but I'm afraid you've caught me at a bad time. I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, actually, and you do smell…simply mouthwatering."

"Threaten him," the beautiful delusion ordered, his voice distorted with dread.

"He'll know it was you," I whispered. "You won't get away with this."

"Yes, I will." My eyes didn't even catch his movement. He embraced me like a lover might, one arm firmly around my lower back, the other laced through my hair holding the back of my head. He ran his nose from my cheekbone down over my jaw and down my neck. I heard a low growl. And then I felt a searing pain.

Laurent's razor sharp teeth sliced into the skin of my neck. I felt myself starting to slump against him. He was supporting my weight entirely. I heard the velvet voice in my head shrieking for me to fight, to live. But all I wanted to do was sleep. Besides, the pain in my neck was wonderfully distracting. It was the first time in months I didn't feel the pain from the gaping hole in my chest. Had I enough energy to do so, I might have laughed. How ironic that I was going to be killed by a vampire after all.

_Edward_. It didn't matter if I thought of him now. I was going to die. _Edward, I love you_.

Then I fell to the ground. I was vaguely aware of the sound of snarls and the movement of dark shapes above me. I could just make out the ground vibrating around me. I loud keening caught my attention for a moment followed by a series of metallic ripping sounds.

But all of that was quickly drowned out by the fire. I screamed, at least I tried to, I couldn't tell if the noise actually came out. Had I gone to hell? That didn't seem right, but in my deliriousness I couldn't account for the conflagration within my veins any other way.

_Make it stop!_

Why didn't anyone hear me?

The burning made it difficult to breathe, to think. My neck, shoulders, arms, and chest were melting from the inside out. My heart was beating so fast I was sure I would have a heart attack. I couldn't control my movements. My arms and legs flailed, my back arched into the pain. _Please, God, Edward. Help me_.

And then everything went mercifully dark.

Jacob POV

We were close now. We had crossed the bloodsucker's trail fifteen minutes ago and the sickly sweet scent was getting stronger. It wasn't the one we had been tracking, but we would be happy to kill the leech just the same. I could see the trees thin out just in front of us. There—that's where it was. Sam directed us into formation and we picked up the pace. Just before we broke through the tree line I realized the bloodsucker wasn't alone.

_Bella!_

_Jacob, deal with the bloodsucker first! It's too late for her!_ As the alpha, I had no choice but to follow Sam's orders. I snarled ferociously and flew at the vile creature wrapped sinuously around Bella's small frame.

He was stunned by our interruption, and clearly terrified of us. He tried to run but my four brothers were on him quickly. I was torn between wanting to do the honors myself and needing to try to save her.

I could hear the others thinking about Bella. They were trying surreptitiously to ask Sam if she should be dismembered as well, just in case. I snarled ferociously and ran back over to her body.

_She's still alive! She's not dead!_ Thank God. Live Bella! I put my nose to her face and immediately pulled back. She didn't smell right. And then the rivulet of blood that ran from the side of her neck down underneath the collar of her shirt caught my attention. I gently turned her head with my snout. _Oh, no. No, no. Bella._

_Jacob…_

_No!_ I spun around and crouched over her body, two paws on each side of her small frame.

_Jacob, she has no options. You saw as well as we did. She will change. But we can't allow that._

_Back up. All of you._ I needed to think but couldn't. I growled as I warned Sam, Jared, Embry, and Paul from coming any nearer. I was the strongest and the fastest. They all knew it.

_Jacob, I'm giving you an order. Step away from her and let us finish this._

_No! This is Bella. _Isn't it?

_She is dead, Jacob. _Sam took a step closer. I crouched defensively and snarled.

_No. She's. Not. _She can't be.

_She should be. You know that, Jacob._

I was vibrating from my grief and from trying to resist Sam's order. It was impossible to do. But then I had a realization. Bella was important to me. She was one of the most important things to me. If I couldn't make them see that, I knew what I would have to do.

_This is Bella, guys. This is Charlie's daughter. You know her._

_Yeah, Jake, but she's not gonna be Bella anymore_. I glared at Jared. Traitor.

_No. I won't let you do this._

_Jacob Black. Move away from her right now_. Sam's tone was ferocious.

_No. And you can't make me, Sam. I no longer recognize you._

_What?_ He was furious. The others' anxiety was making my head start to hurt.

_You know as well as I do that I was supposed to be the alpha. I didn't want it then. I do, now._

_There can't be two alphas, can there?_ Jared and Embry looked at one another and then back at us.

_No_, Sam growled. _You would choose one of them over us?_

_She's not one of them. She's one of us. She's…._ But I knew I didn't have to say it. Our minds were connected. They already knew what Bella was to me, how I felt about her.

_Sam, you're making me choose here. Don't make me choose._

He took another step towards me. _DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE, SAM! _

All of a sudden, their voices were gone. It was quiet in my head. I couldn't hear any of them. Sam and I were standing eight feet from one another, a huge russet brown wolf and a large black wolf, squared off and snarling viciously at one another.

I saw the change rather than heard it this time, as I used to be able to do when I was connected to them. Jared had phased so that they could communicate with me. "Jake, what did you do, man?"

I kept my eyes on Sam, wary that this was a strategic distraction.

"We're not going to hurt you."

I barked a scoffing laugh at the idea that they could.

"Will you phase so we can talk? We can't hear you anymore."

I shook my head no.

Jared paused. He phased and then changed back. "Sam says we'll resolve this another day, that your actions are going to make this harder on everyone, especially Bella. He is going to consult the elders." The wolves all took tentative steps away from me as I stood defensively crouched over Bella's quivering form. "Bye, Jake." He looked at me for a long moment. Jared had been a friend for years. Then he phased, and joined the retreating group of wolves as they melded into the darkening woods.

With them gone and my head completely empty of their thoughts and voices, Bella's halting breaths and whimpers sounded particularly loud in the space. I stepped around her and looked back down. Where my muzzle touched her cheek it felt measurably cooler. This was really happening. I threw my head back and let out a mournful howl.

* * *

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2: Decisions

SM owns. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Jacob POV

When I was sure the pack was gone, I phased. I knelt down next to Bella's quivering form. Her breath was coming in quick labored pants, punctuated occasionally by a gasp or a shudder. Every so often a hand or a knee would jerk, or her face would twitch in a pained wince.

I cannot believe this is actually happening. Bella.

I ran my hand over her forehead. "Bella? Bella? Please open your eyes. Please don't leave me." I realized I was rocking back and forth.

I had no fucking idea what to do. Or where to go. Or how to help. Or whether I even should.

Just then, Bella's eyes fluttered open. I didn't think she was actually conscious because her eyes rolled back into her head. But when I called her name again, her eyes unseeingly looked up at me. As her forehead furrowed I could see her trying to focus.

I took her small hand in my huge one. "Bella?"

She tried to say my name, but it didn't come out as any more than a rasp. Tears spilled from her eyes, running down her temples into her hair.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't get here in time." She tried to speak again, but it was too much effort. "Bella, I know this is a struggle for you, but we need to try to talk about what's happening to you. Do you remember what happened?"

For a moment her expression was completely blank and then her eyes bulged and her heart rate accelerated another notch over what the trauma to her body was already causing. The word she tried to form clearly started with an 'L'.

I didn't know what she was trying to say. It was only later than I would learn the bloodsucker's name. But when she reached her hand shakily to her neck, I understood what she was thinking about. "Sshh, Bella. It's okay. He's gone."

She looked from me to her hand, which was bloody when she pulled it back from her neck. She gasped and then winced at the pain that small action caused her. "Bitten?" Her volume was low but her tone was thick with meaning.

I could only nod.

"Oh." Her voice cracked and more tears spilled into her hair. "_Oh_." Her face crumpled into a heart-wrenching mask of torture, pain, and loss; she brought the bloody hand up to cover her mouth, heaving sobs wracking her frame. Her fingers left bloody streaks on her cheek and bottom lip. I shuddered and focused.

I rubbed my hand up her forehead and into her hair. She had broken out into a cold sweat, whether from the bite or from the exertion of sobbing I wasn't sure. Her pallor had turned a sallow gray. I ached to cradle her in my arms to try to soothe her. I settled for pulling her head and shoulders into my lap. She moaned at my touch and her eyes rolled back into her head. I froze.

"Bella? I'm sorry. Bella, can you talk to me?" She was shivering now.

"Ev…'rything…bur…ns."

"What? Bella? God, I don't know what to do. I don't know what's happening to you, Bella." I didn't realize I was crying until I saw a small drop of clear liquid land on her cheek. I batted the tears away with the back of my hands.

_Fuck._

My hands on either side of her body began shaking. _No!_ I have to hold it together. The pain was so bad that I felt like I could tear down every tree within seeing distance and not draw down the enraged energy coursing through me.

_I can't believe this is happening._

"Jake…."

"Yes, Bella. I'm here. I'm here, Bella. Bella, do you understand what's happening?"

Her teeth were clattering together. She managed to force out, "The bite…is changing …me….Jake….burns…so bad." Her eyes focused to the extent her quivering would allow.

"Oh, God, Bella. What do I do? How does this work, Bella? Did they ever tell you?" Thinking of them did not help the rage. I shoved it down.

A confused shadow crossed her face for a moment. "No. Dunno."

"_Fuck!_" Bella's eyes flashed up to mine. "You don't know anything about how this works?"

She looked up at me for a moment. She scrunched up her eyebrows, seeming to think, and then held up a shaking wrist.

I didn't understand what she was trying to say. "What? Bella, I don't under—"

Just then, and with great effort, she raised her other hand, curling it into a fist with the exception of her pointer finger, which she finally managed to steady against the other wrist. My eyes followed her movements and I remained bewildered. Until I noticed the crescent-shaped scar located there. I was just about to ask her to try to explain when the dawning realization hit me and I sucked in a breath.

"You've been bitten before? Who? Did _he_ bite you?" My hands were shaking again.

"Yes….No."

Even through the haze of her pain, she saw me on the verge of exploding and quickly clarified. "Yes, last year…didn't fall…other…vamp…ire…bit me. He…he saved…me."

All of a sudden the story of her disastrous trip to Phoenix returned to me. She had fallen down two flights of stairs and through a plate glass window at a hotel. My father didn't believe that story, but I saw no reason to doubt it, at the time. My mind was reeling with questions. The trees ringing the edge of the meadow seemed to be spinning around us. But then my mind focused on what I realized was, for right now, the most important set of words she had managed to speak. "You said he saved you. How? How, Bella? Please."

"He...," she closed her eyes from the exertion of the conversation. I was afraid she was going to lose consciousness before we had discussed everything we needed to. She lifted her eyelids again in a gesture that made them look like they weighed ten pounds each. "…sucked it."

"Huh?"

"Out…sucked it…out."

The words finally made sense and my stomach wrenched. I tilted my head up to the sky and covered my face with both hands, finally rubbing my face roughly as if trying to wake myself up from a nightmare. "Bella, I don't know if I can do that." My mind was screaming at me even as the words left my mouth. _No! That's what _they_ do! Fuck!_

Just then, Bella's body seized and she moaned loudly. Her back arched into it forcing her head to tilt back and grind into my thigh. Her arms flailed out to the sides. It reminded me of the way images of the victims of Roman crucifixions looked. It was more than I could bear.

Trying not to think, I pulled my leg out from under her, and the movement of her body elicited another round of moans. I moved to the side with the bite wound and tilted her head gently to the side, exposing the wound, which now looked different somehow. A string of invective left my mouth as I realized the wound was smaller. It was healing.

Feeling the weight of time's passage, I stopped breathing, leaned forward, and placed my mouth over the wound. I tried to shut as much sensory perception down as I could, and then I sucked. Hard. I pulled once, twice, three times. Enough blood was collected in my mouth now that I needed to swallow, which against every instinct in my body, I managed to do. I tried not to think about the fact that her blood was the foulest thing I had ever tasted in my life. I felt the tears streaming down my face. I sucked several more times, but just as I went to swallow again, my body rebelled.

The most forceful gag reflex I had ever experienced gripped me. I wrenched my body clear of her, and on hands and knees, threw up violently four times. Everything I had eaten or even thought about eating in the past two days lay on the forest floor in front of me in a puddle of gore, which only elicited more heaves. At some point my heaves turned into wracked sobs. I forced myself to pull it together, finding a large green leaf next to my foot that I used to wipe my mouth.

I looked back over to her. Her eyes were slits staring up at the green canopy above her. I couldn't know if she was actually seeing. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I just…I can't. I can't help."

I crawled to her body, taking her hand again. She winced and pulled away, her eyes opening more and finally finding and focusing on me. "Hot…burns…burns…pressure."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Don't be."

I took a deep steadying breath. The next words were going to rank as the hardest thing I could ever imagine myself saying in my life.

"Bella, sweetie? Bella? Do you want this to happen?"

She blinked lazily. I realized her quivering had subsided quite a bit. Her eyes looked exhausted. Deep circles seem to have set in under her eyes as if she hadn't been sleeping well lately, which I knew was the case. But still….

"Bella? If you ask me to, Bella, I could make this go away for you." I just barely kept my voice from breaking. Could I really? Could I really do it, even if she wanted me to?

My brain was at war with itself: _You didn't do this, Jake. The leech did. It would be merciful._ But at the same time: _The leech didn't kill her. He changed her. She would still be alive…er, exist. I would be ending her existence_.

I had no idea what I wanted her to say in response to my question. I felt like either answer would surely kill me.

Bella POV

If I didn't hurt so much, I might have laughed. Or at least smirked. Or perhaps raged in a screaming fit. _This? This is how it's going to be? Alone. Scared. Confused. With no idea what will happen or what to do? This is it? Why hadn't Alice seen Laurent returning to Forks, looking for them, looking for me?_ If I could have snorted, I would've. _They must really be distracted._

_Not alone._ I opened my eyes. Jacob was here, talking to me. I tried to focus on his voice. I tried to put the rage and the sorrow and the pain aside for a few moments. I realized he was asking me questions. I tried to answer. Every inhalation of breath that I needed to force out a response felt like swallowing bleach that was scorching my insides.

A few moments of stilted conversation passed. In my delirium, I'd revealed things I shouldn't have. But I didn't have enough presence of mind to edit myself when Jake began asking me questions about what was happening. Some part of my brain registered a distinct _lack_ of reaction or surprise at my revelations. I tried to think about that—I knew it was important—but I just couldn't adequately focus. Then a shooting pain radiated down my back, through my hips, and into my legs. My back and neck arched violently, and the world got fuzzy around me.

I then had the oddest sensation of my blood rushing and felt an intense sensation of heat on my neck. My body had several reactions to this. First, it created a momentary alleviation of pain. Some of the molten liquid was being drawn out of me. My neck, cheek, and chest felt momentarily relieved. Second, somewhere, deep in my brain, I balked—my conversation with Edward at the prom about why he didn't just let the change happen flashed before my eyes. And, finally, a defensive instinct tried to kick in—though I was entirely too weak and too vulnerable to act on it—something on an instinctive level reviled the loss, of both blood and venom.

Then it stopped. My eyes glazed over as a violent retching sound echoed some unknown distance away from me. I had not enough energy to imagine what it could be.

And then Jacob was hovering over me, his too-hot hand grasping my already scorching skin, and I jerked away. I mumbled an explanatory apology. The deep look of grief and regret on his face helped me focus.

And then he asked a question that attracted the attention of all the bodily resources I was still capable of controlling. "Bella, sweetie? Bella? Do you want this to happen? Bella? If you ask me to, I could make this go away for you."

_Do I want this to happen? This. Being changed. Into a vampire._

Once, it was all I wanted. I had cajoled, pleaded, argued, reasoned, and tried to negotiate my change a hundred different ways between last spring and last fall. I even tried to be sly with Carlisle and fished around for whether he would consider doing it. I remember his amusedly wary response, "Oh no, Bella, you're going to have to take that up with Edward."

_Edward_. I'd wanted this with him. He was my future, which meant _this_ was my future. And I had been absolutely certain of it all.

Until September 16th. Until the forest outside my house. Until he told me he didn't want me. That I was no good for him. That he was easily distracted.

I was vaguely aware of Jacob calling my name, trying to get a response to his questions as two waves of emotion rolled through my body, eliciting a full-body shudder. On the one hand, I felt a deep soul-wrenching anguish. This _had been_ my future, once, but it wasn't supposed to be like _this_—full of emotional pain and uncertainty and the unknown_._ On the other hand, I felt a white-hot rage at, if I admitted it—which I had to because I didn't have enough control or strength to hide from myself right now—at _Edward_. For leaving me. For not loving me enough. For needing to be distracted. For not protecting me.

I realized all at once what my answer to Jacob's questions needed to be.

With or without _him_, I couldn't shake the feeling that _this_ was supposed to be my future, whether _he_ was in it or not. And, if by some unforeseen turn of circumstances, I ever did see him again, I would stand as an equal before him.

It felt like I was ten feet under water. I struggled to surface long enough to respond to Jacob's increasingly frantic pleas. Finally my eyes focused. Jacob was leaning over me, face full of desperation. I attempted a smile. I have no idea if my face cooperated. The first time I tried to speak, no sound came out. I swallowed thickly and tried again.

"Let…let it…happen, Jake." I felt around with my hand, trying to make sure he was understanding me. I heard a muffled moan from somewhere to the side of me. I gasped. The pain was becoming excruciating. It was like having a million burning pins and needles laced through every pore, every blood vessel. I thought I might have enough in me to try one more time, to make sure I was getting through. "Jake? Let it…." And then everything went hot and black again.

* * *

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3: Visions

SM owns. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

APOV

"Hey? What's the matter? Alice?"

Jasper's alarmed voice finally registered enough to capture my attention. I intended to force a smile to reassure him when another dizzying vision flashed through my brain, causing me to grimace instead. It had been like this for the past few hours, and I felt like I was coming down with something, despite the fact that wasn't possible.

"I…ugh!" I sat up in bed, my _GQ_ falling to the floor—I'm interested in men's fashion as well, besides, _GQ_ has good stories—and curled my head into my hands. Jasper folded closed the new book on Texas history during the Civil War I bought him and shoved it aside. He pulled himself up to his knees on the bed, peering down to try to see my face.

"Alice, darling, what is it? You're worrying me."

I rubbed my temples roughly. "That's just it. I don't know what it is. Well," I looked up at Jasper finally, "that's not entirely true." Six months later, there were still some subjects better left alone.

He waited for me to continue and I felt a wave of relaxation roll through my shoulders and neck. That allowed me to finally give him the smile I'd meant to earlier.

"It's…it's Bella."

His concern for me clearly outweighed his discomfort with the topic because he pursued it. "You've seen her? I…well…I thought you weren't looking."

"I haven't been looking. Though I've been tempted. You know it couldn't have been good when we left…." The wave of guilt that briefly washed over me forced me to focus. "I'm sorry, Jazz. Stop feeling guilty. These visions are just messing with me and it's hard to focus." I squeezed his hand reassuringly and he gave me a small smile. "What I meant to say is, I wasn't looking. But something's trying to come through anyway."

"What do you mean, 'trying'?"

Just then, it happened again, and Jasper gripped my shoulders supportively as the force of it caused me to sway.

I shook my head in frustration and confusion once it passed.

"What did you see, Alice? Try to explain what you're seeing and maybe I can help."

"Do you remember when TVs were new and you'd have to adjust the rabbit ears to try to get the picture to stay in focus? And until you got the antenna in exactly the right spot, the picture would be wavy, grainy, and come in and out?" He nodded. "That's what my visions are like. If I could get headaches, I would imagine they feel something like this."

"I'm calling Carlisle."

I grabbed his arm as he reached over to his nightstand for his cell phone.

"No, Jazz, don't. It's okay. And I don't know what to say anyway."

"Alice, I'm worried about you. And I'd feel better if you at least talked to Carlisle." His eyes were intense.

"Listen, I will talk to Carlisle. But let's not interrupt their hunting trip. They'll be back before dark and I promise I will talk to him as soon as they return." Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie had left yesterday evening. While Jasper was starting to feel more comfortable around everyone again, he still sensed their occasional disappointment in him, which meant we carved out as much time as we could to just be together. I was willing to do whatever I could to ease his discomfort and allow him to work through his feelings over the consequences of Bella's birthday, even if it meant limiting my family time and my shopping to online expenditures.

He looked at me for a long moment, deciding, before relenting.

"Okay, but if it gets any worse or any more uncomfortable, we call and ask them to return early."

"Deal."

"Can you make out any specifics from what you are seeing?"

"Well, I think I saw her in the meadow where Edward took her. But then it all got very unclear. She was thinking of…dying." I saw the shadow pass across Jasper's face, but he nodded for me to continue. "But then she…disappeared. And now she seems to be coming in and out. But, when she comes in, I don't understand what I'm seeing. But it feels…bad."

Jasper leaned back into the downy white pillows and beckoned me to lay down with him. I curled my small body tightly against the side of his, resting my aching head into the crook of his neck. He ran a hand lazily through my hair—I didn't even mind that he was messing it up his touch was so relaxing.

The visions continued to come like that for hours, occasionally bringing me a blurred and too-brief glance of Bella laying in Edward's meadow. _What was she doing?_

As the sun began to set, we heard Emmett's Jeep crunch on the snow covering the gravel driveway. Jasper looked at me and I nodded. We swung ourselves off the bed. I ran into my closet and changed out of my bed-wrinkled clothes. Then Jasper held my hand as we descended the steps of our large Alaskan cabin. The sound of closing car doors and voices echoed in from the garage. Rosalie snickered as Esme reminded Emmett to take off his muddy boots before coming in to the house. Jasper made a fire in the huge stone fireplace while we waited for everyone to come in. I settled into the sofa.

"Alice, Jasper, how are you?" Esme smiled at seeing us downstairs and obviously waiting for them.

"Good trip, Esme?" Jasper pulled the fire screen into place and scooted himself in beside me on the couch so that I was leaning back into him.

"Very. I'm sure Emmett will fill you in on all of his exploits."

"No doubt."

The others came in and one by one sank down into the overstuffed sofas facing the fireplace. I didn't want to bombard them with my non-informative visions the moment they walked through the door, especially since the atmosphere in the room was so relaxed and congenial. But then a particularly distorted vision gripped me, and I moaned softly.

Carlisle was kneeling beside me in an instant. "What is it, Alice?"

I was vaguely aware of him and Jasper speaking around me. "She's been like this all day. I wanted to call, but she didn't want to disturb you because the visions aren't clear. It's about Bella."

My head fell forward as the vision relented. I heard Rosalie snort derisively. I managed a scowl in her general direction.

"Alice, what are you seeing?"

I recounted to Carlisle the same description I had earlier to Jasper. But my recent vision had added one new element: "She's going to go to our house. I think. It's all so unclear. I don't understand."

"In Forks?" Esme had moved closer as well.

I nodded. "Oh." I winced, looking at Esme, who now looked at me expectantly. I shook my head.

"Alice, what is it. Don't leave anything out." Carlisle exchanged glances between Esme and me.

"Um, well, sorry Esme, I think they're going to break a window to get in."

Jasper interjected, "They?"

"Oh. Yeah. I think she's with someone, but I can't see. I'm not sure."

"Um, sorry to interrupt here, but I thought we weren't supposed to be keeping tabs on Bella," Rosalie asked over the top of her _Car and Driver_ magazine, feigning disinterest.

"I wasn't trying to see her, Rosalie. These images have been freaking assaulting me all day."

Carlisle placed his hand on mine to recapture my attention. "Is she in trouble, Alice?"

I thought for a moment. The images were so indistinct, most of the time, but occasionally they became crystal clear. And when that happened…. "Yes, Carlisle, I think she is."

"Why would she go to our house?" Emmett interjected.

I shook my head.

"I think I should go see what's going on." I felt Jasper stiffen behind me, and heard Rosalie slam her magazine down into her lap. I rushed on, "she doesn't have to know I'm there. But I don't know how much more of these visions I can take. And I feel like it's important for me to know why they keep coming in and out. I've never had visions like this before and I need to understand them."

Carlisle looked to Esme, silently soliciting her input. She finally broke the silence. "We should call him." Carlisle nodded.

"Wait. I don't think so. Let's not get him all wound up about something without knowing what it actually is. It could be nothing. And then he will not only be hurt and angry that I looked, but also that much more despondent over being forced to think about her more." They exchanged glances again. The earlier relaxed atmosphere was now completely gone, replaced by tension and anxiety that we all shared. "Look, I'll take all the responsibility. It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

"I'm coming with you, then," Jasper said.

"No, Jasper. I don't think that's a good idea. If the news is bad, you don't want Edward to misunderstand and think you had any part in it." I felt his internal struggle, but also his realization of the strength of my logic.

"I'll come." Carlisle turned to his wife. "Esme, will you please book Alice and me a flight while we gather some things to take with us?" She nodded.

"I want to come too." Emmett rose in anticipation.

"No, Emmett. You stay—"

"But, she was my…would have been my little sister too." He squared his stance towards Carlisle.

"Well, if you're going, I'm going," Rosalie said, crossing her arms.

"The more of us that go the more Edward is going to be upset by our interference and the greater likelihood of Bella sensing us. You two, please stay here. We will only be gone a few days." Carlisle headed for the stairs.

"Um, Carlisle, I think Emmett might be a good idea."

Emmett smiled at me. "Really? I mean, that's right."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at both of us. "Whatever."

"If you say so, Alice." Carlisle disappeared to pack.

"I'll book your reservations, then. Emmett, you should go clean up." Esme pointed at Emmett's jeans, crusted with dry mud on his knees and around the cuffs. He leaned down to kiss Rosalie, and then disappeared upstairs as well.

"Come upstairs with me?" I invited Jasper while taking and squeezing his hand. He nodded and we fled upstairs. I threw two small bags out on the bed and began tossing clothing out of my closet. I gasped as another vision, stronger and clearer yet than all the others, invaded my mind.

Jasper flew to my side.

"_Oh!_"

"Alice? Alice, darling? What is it?" I couldn't respond.

Alarmed, Jasper shouted, "Carlisle!" He appeared in my closet instantaneously.

"Oh. Oh no." My eyes refocused on the two men in front of me. I was vaguely aware that the others had crowded into the doorway of my bedroom.

"She…she's going to kill him."

"What?" Carlisle stepped closer, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Who?"

"I…I don't know. But…but that's not the worst part." I was shaking now.

"She…Carlisle…_oh God_."

"Alice, what is it?" I gripped Carlisle's hand where it rested on my shoulder and took Jasper's hand with my other.

"Carlisle, she's…she's one of us."

* * *

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4: Revelations

Rosalie's conversation is taking, in some cases verbatim, from Stephenie Meyer's New Moon excerpt on her website. No copyright infringement is intended. All things Twilight belong to her.

Jacob POV

I was astounded. Bella knew. Knew they were bloodsuckers. Knew what they were capable of doing. _And yet loved him still._

I began to vibrate with rage, about ready to burst out of my own skin. Her words pushed me over the edge: _"Let…let it…happen, Jake. Jake? Let it…."_

_She wants to be one of them._

I couldn't control it. I threw my body away from hers as I phased and, without looking back, ran full out away from the small meadow where my love lay broken, dying—no, worse, _changing_—on the forest floor.

_Maybe Sam was right._ The thought caught me off guard and made me refocus. I was half way back to La Push without even realizing it.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

I skidded to a stop in a swirl of leaves and dust and paced until I wore a noticeable trail into the undergrowth.

_Fuck!_ I charged a thick oak tree, ramming my head purposely into the trunk to try to provide some distraction. Anything, physical pain, was better than thinking about what was happening to Bella right now. The tree made an audible creaking sound but remained upright. Within ten minutes the lacerations on my head were largely healed.

I don't know how long I wandered aimlessly, but at some point I became aware of the sound of rain pattering against the green canopy overhead. A few minutes later, it was falling harder, hard enough to make its way forcefully to the ground.

_What the fuck is the matter with me?_

I left her. I left her all alone. Scared and in pain. Outside on the _fucking_ _ground_.

A sickened whine left my throat as an image of Bella lying alone, scared and hurting on the forest floor, assaulted my brain. Six months ago. Not my image—Sam's. The day _he_ left her. _Oh fuck._

I ran flat out. Harder and faster this time. Trying to make my way back to her. Trying to undo what I had done. Trying to not be like him.

As I ran, I became slowly aware of a screeching sound. At first I almost thought I was imagining it. It could have been the sound of my own blood pulsing through my veins, reflecting my punishing pace. But all at once I knew what it was: Bella.

I slowed instinctively as I returned to the meadow. The sounds—her sounds—were horrendous—wild and pained.

Just as I was about to step through the trees into the clearing, it occurred to me that the change could be complete. But then I saw her, lying where I left her. Her body was shuddering violently. Her face appeared frozen in a mask of horrified pain, and gasping shrieks punctuated her constant moaning.

_The rain_.

I don't know why I knew it. I just did. The impact of the rain on her already traumatized body. It was killing her.

I phased back immediately, not giving a second thought to my nakedness. I needed to get her some place more comfortable. I had no fucking clue where it might be safe for her to go.

_Fuck. Of course._

Conscious of the fact that my touch, my heat, was likely to cause her discomfort, I scooped her up, causing her to choke out a tortured groan, and held her out from my body. I took off running as fast as I could.

_I never thought I'd come here by choice._

The big white house looked empty, but I was wary nonetheless. The sickly sweet stink was noticeable, though faded. And being around Bella had prepared me for it anyway.

I traveled the last distance across the overgrown front yard and landed on the front porch in one lithe jump. A quick turn of the door knob told me it was locked. Rather than damage a lock we might later want to use, I punched my hand through the sidelight window nearest the door knob and reached through, making quick work of the interior lock mechanisms. I stepped through and relocked the door.

I was surprised to find the house fully furnished. White sheets draped the furniture. I moved to what I assumed by size and position would be a couch and pulled the cover off. I laid Bella down on the overstuffed tan suede couch. I was somewhat relieved to notice that her shaking seemed less violent and her moaning more subdued. Still though, I knew she was dying, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Her foot twitched and it caught my attention. I found an obscene amount of satisfaction in the smear of mud her shoe made against the arm of the couch.

Now I was at a loss for what to do.

I looked down at myself. I was wet, mud-covered, naked, and bloodied. The presence of the drying blood on my hand, and on the broken window, was the thing that most needed to be addressed.

I was able to quickly find the kitchen, and was pleased to find that the water and electric were still on. I washed my hand and forearm thoroughly in the sink, then found a kitchen towel that I dampened to clean the blood off the window as best I could.

_I could use some clothes._ I walked back over to the couch to check on Bella. _So could she_. Hesitating for just a minute, I headed upstairs, hoping they had left something behind we could use. Once again, the rooms were fully furnished, left just as if someone would be home tonight after work. It was eerie.

The first bedroom I came to featured a huge bed and formal décor. I wrenched the closet open and was relieved to see clothing. But most of it was women's stuff, a lot of dresses and skirts and shit that were completely useless.

Leaving the closet doors standing open, I turned to a huge dresser on an opposite wall. _Jackpot_. The first drawer I tried was filled with men's sweatpants. I pulled out a pair and held them up. _Holy hell that stinks._ But, beggars can't be choosers. They were just about my size. Rummaging for another minute led me to a drawer full of t-shirts—I pulled out the one on top and shoved it under my arm. I remembered one of them was big—I couldn't remember his name. This shit must belong to him.

I noted the adjoining bathroom and showered just enough to rinse off before pulling on the offensive garments. I hadn't seen anything in the first room that seemed right for Bella. _Turning into a vampire doesn't seem like a formal occasion_.

The next bedroom featured an equally huge bed. The closet this time was empty of women's clothes. Some men's button-down shirts, jeans, and cowboy boots occupied one small corner of the huge walk-in closet. The dresser was largely empty too.

Finally, in the next bedroom I found something that would work for now. Stacked on a shelf right inside the closet door was a big pile of blue scrubs. I pulled a top and bottom from the pile and headed back to Bella, unceremoniously leaving the drawers and closets in all of the second-floor bedrooms ajar and disheveled.

Bella lay where I left her. She seemed eerily still and quiet now. I touched my palm to her forehead. _Cool._ For the first time in hours, I really looked at her. The bite mark was nearly healed and the dark circles beneath her eyes were more pronounced. Her skin was noticeably paler. She was…beautiful.

I batted a single traitor tear from my eye.

I noticed the rain had stopped. It was dark out. The light shining in from the kitchen was the only one on. Bella groaned as I eased off her long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. I hesitated to remove her undergarments, wet though they were. It just didn't feel right. I pulled on her scrubs as quickly as I could. I was painfully aware that every movement of her body elicited pained groans despite her being unconscious.

I noted some light switches near the staircase and played with them to see what they controlled. I turned on some accent lights over the fireplace. That seemed sufficient for now.

All of a sudden the weight of the day's events settled into my shoulders. I was exhausted. I slid my back down against the inside of the front door and crouched into a sitting position. Over the next ten hours I alternated between a light troubled sleep, panicked checks on Bella, and wary surveillance of the front and back yards. When the morning light first filtered into the room, Bella's injuries were fully healed, her hair had taken on a shiny, silken quality—despite the places where mud remained caked into the back of her head, and her skin was now obviously cold and hardening. Bella's humanity was nearly gone.

RPOV

The others had been trying for hours with no success. Calling, endlessly calling. It was annoying.

We were sitting in the airport, waiting for our flight to depart. Alice's revelation that Bella could become one of us made Carlisle decide we should all go to Forks. He believed that, if she wasn't yet changed, a larger group of us have more ability to prevent it. And, if she was, it would take a larger number of us to handle her newborn strength. _Damn this human girl_. Every time we got settled somewhere, she ruined it.

Everyone noticed when Alice froze. She looked pointedly at me. "You need to call him."

"What? Why me?" I was the last person in the world Edward would want to talk to.

Alice heaved a sigh. "He will answer your call."

"I doubt that." I faced off with Alice for a few moments before huffing a "fine" and pulling out my phone.

I knew he wouldn't answer me. I had been calling for half an hour. They were boarding the plane.

I was about to shove my phone in my purse when it connected.

"What?" His voice was tense and hollow.

"Oh wow. Edward answered the phone. I feel so honored." The line went dead.

"Asshole," I muttered. Everyone was looking at me.

"A little kinder, please?" I nodded sheepishly to Esme and redialed.

"Get on with it." His voice was clipped. I imagined I could see him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I thought you would want to know we're going back to Forks." My words hung there for a moment.

"What?"

"You know how Alice is—thinks she knows everything. Like you." I chuckled, but if I admitted it, I was nervous, unsure. "Edward, are you still there?"

I looked at the others. The attendant was urging us to move forward in the line. I had about sixty seconds to communicate Bella's fate to Edward.

"Edward, don't you want to know why we're going to Forks?"

"Not particularly."

"Edward—"

"Fine. Tell me quickly. And then _leave me alone._" His tone was caustic.

"Well…." I found my seat and clicked the seatbelt over my lap. The others all remained focused on my conversation.

"Spit it out, Rosalie. You have ten seconds."

"Alice had a vision. She wasn't looking," I rushed. "Bella…she's going to be changed."

"Changed _how_?" _Is he being purposely dense?_

"One of us, Edward. One of us."

It took me a few seconds to realize the line was dead. I redialed, but it went straight into voicemail. Then an announcement sounded dictating the powering down of all electronic devices. We were without a means of communication for the next two and a half hours. All we could do now was sit and wait.

Emmett met my tortured gaze, and I had to look away. There was so much compassion in his eyes. I loved him more than my life. He took my hand and squeezed. That small gesture said everything that needed to be said. He knew I felt equal parts bad for being a bitch, worried about our brother, and scared for what we were going to find in Forks.

BPOV

As if the feeling of being charred from the inside out wasn't bad enough, the stench searing my nostrils was unbearable. For the first time in…_how long as it been? _. . . I regained consciousness. My eyes were blurry with tears. Above me the green canopy had been replaced with a smooth white surface. _A ceiling?_ But where that ceiling was, I didn't know. My attempt to turn my head caused the world to swim around me. The blackness returned once again.

APOV

Everyone was watching me. Hoping I got new information. They had let me alone on the flight from Alaska as I strained to find a vision that would tell us how much time we had.

Some things had changed overnight. I no longer saw Bella killing someone. I still didn't know who that someone was, but something had changed to ensure she either wouldn't have the opportunity to commit that act or would no longer want to. While that was a relief, the other thing that became clear overnight was not: Bella's change was already happening. I was most attuned to my own kind. When the vision came it was crystal clear.

I saw her: pale, cold, hard, and preternaturally beautiful, lying on a familiar couch in a familiar room. The room was dark, and though I felt like she wasn't alone, I couldn't identify the other presence. She thought she was all alone. I ached for her.

We rented two cars at the airport—Carlisle drove the silver Mercedes and Emmett drove the black Mustang. We were in Forks forty-one minutes after our plane touched down. We crossed the boundary into town at 5:30 in the morning. The first hints of light were just playing low in the sky.

Minutes later, we turned into the long gravel driveway to the house we had fled in the night six months before. There was just enough light in the sky to illuminate the silhouette of the house against the forest behind it. But the house wasn't what captured our attention.

There, blocking our ability to travel the last fifty yards up the driveway, was a massive russet-colored animal.


	5. Chapter 5: Waiting

CPOV

"This is incredible." I exchanged a glance with Esme, sitting beside me. I could see the recognition forming in her eyes. It took only a moment for me to realize what I was seeing, but what I couldn't figure out was _why_ I was seeing it. What possible connection could a Quileute werewolf have to Bella being changed? And what had brought on their transformation? There was only one way to find out.

"Stay in the car." I raised a hand to silence the immediate protests that erupted. "Someone call Emmett and Rosalie and tell them the same." I looked into the rear view mirror. "Jasper, I don't know if your gift works on werewolves, but be ready just in case." He nodded, his face grim.

I opened the car door and rose, then took a step away and gently closed the door. I raised my hands non-confrontationally and took two steps forward. The werewolf growled in response, baring its teeth.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen. This is my property."

The wolf continued his hard stare.

"We mean no harm. I am sure you are familiar with the treaty we have with your people."

The wolf snorted.

"We have reason to believe someone here needs our help. You need to let us pass."

The growling began again. The wolf took a step forward.

All of a sudden, I felt a calming wave pass through me. Jasper. I observed the wolf and noted that Jasper's power did affect him. His rigid posture relaxed. He seemed to realize something was happening to him, and shook his head and whined in response.

Just then, I heard a shriek originate from the house. It caught the wolf's attention too. He seemed torn between focusing on us or the house.

Jasper stepped out of the car. I held up a hand in warning to him. He whispered, "I thought you should know. He's concerned for her, protective. I don't think he's here to hurt her."

I nodded. Interesting.

Just then, the wolf turned his body so he could face the house. He surprised me by transforming himself into his massive human form. He leaned down to pick up something unseen on the ground, and then slipped into a pair of pants before turning to face me. I recognized the boy, who now looked like a man, immediately.

Jacob Black.

I knew Jacob's father was friends with Bella's. That must be the connection.

"Jacob, I need to check on her." He looked momentarily surprised by my recognition of him.

He squared his stance to me. "Why? So you can leave her again?" he spat.

"Not at all—"

"You fucking leeches. You have no idea what you did to her." The others, now sensing the worst of the danger had passed, all stepped quietly out of the cars and gathered around me. "He left her. You all left her. He fucking left her alone in the dark in the forest. It took us hours to find her, lying on the ground in the rain. She was completely delirious." I heard Alice gasp.

He was yelling now. His tone was caustic. "You broke her. You left her a shell. Do you know that she walks around nearly all the time with her arms wrapped around herself? Like if she doesn't she will literally fall apart."

I noted he was vibrating. Jasper sent out another calming wave. "_Fuck!_ Stop whatever the fuck you're doing to me!" Despite his ire, he appeared more in control of himself.

"Jacob—," I attempted.

"No! If it wasn't bad enough that you lured her into your fucking nightmare world, you then left her completely unprotected."

"Jacob, how did this happen?"

"Like you don't know."

"I don't, Jacob. We didn't know what had happened to Bella until it was too late."

He snorted. "One of your friends has been prowling around the past few days. We've been tracking him. We found him in a clearing in the woods. We were too late. But we enjoyed tearing him to pieces and watching his body twist and writhe in the fire."

A sobbing sound became noticeable from the house. "Please, please help me. Oh God. Make it stop."

I took a step forward, and Jacob matched me by taking a step to his right, keeping his body squarely in the path between me and the house.

"Jacob. I'm going to check on her now. I need to know how far along the change is. You probably don't want to be present when she awakens." He seemed momentarily startled by my observation. I hastened to explain. "Newborn vampires are guided entirely by instinct. Hers will tell her you are a dangerous enemy. She will not be able to keep from attacking. You obviously care for her. I know you don't want to put her in that position."

He seemed to debate with himself. "Fine. But just you. The others stay here."

"Listen, dog—," Emmett begun.

"No, Emmett. It's fine."

I maintained a human walking pace across the field, careful not to alarm the boy. Jacob followed me and walked perhaps ten feet to my right. He kept a wary eye on me.

"Do you know when this happened?"

He huffed. "Yesterday morning. Maybe 11 o'clock." I nodded. She was still in her first day of changing, then.

I moved through the door, throwing my hand against light switches as I passed them. Bella lay on the living room couch, tears were streaming down her face and she was babbling and moaning. Her eyes fluttered as she passed in and out of consciousness.

I looked over her form. "You've taken good care of her, Jacob." He stood at the end of the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.

I tilted her head to the side, noting the nearly healed but obvious bite mark on her neck. I lifted her eyelids up. Her eyes were losing their human shade, but hadn't yet fully changed.

Given his earlier reticence, Jacob's voice surprised me. "I…I tried….She told me, um, what happened last spring. I tried to get it…out, but I couldn't." His voice broke on the last word, and his look dared me to take notice of it.

"That was incredibly brave, Jacob. And I know it must have gone against all your instincts. Bella is lucky you found her." I rose. "You are, of course, welcome to stay, Jacob. But when she awakens, her strength will outweigh several of ours. We all need to be here to make sure she doesn't do anything she'll later regret."

"Meaning?"

"You know about the treaty?" He nodded. "Your grandfather agreed to it because we limit our hunting entirely to animals. Bella knew this. I'm sure she would want to do the same."

"Fine. But I'm staying."

We heard tires on the gravel driveway. The others were pulling the cars up to the garage. A minute later my family emerged through the doors.

"God that reeks," Rosalie groaned.

Jacob sneered at her. "Right back at ya, babe."

Emmett grabbed Rosalie as she took a step towards Jacob. "Fine," she huffed.

Jacob moved closer to Bella as everyone approached her.

"Oh, Bella," Esme cried. One hand covered her mouth; I took her free hand.

"Who did this?" Jasper, ever thinking defensively, was concerned about all of our security.

Jacob replied, "I don't know. You leeches all look the same to me."

"You mangy mongrel," Emmett snarled as he took a step towards Jacob. "That is Bella laying there!"

"You don't need to tell me who she fucking is! I've been the one by her side every day for the past three months while you freaks were off draining the countryside!"

Bella started whimpering. Jacob turned his attention to her, then gave a sideways glance to Jasper before offering a quick description of the vampire that bit Bella.

I was shocked to realize he was describing Laurent.

"I thought he was in Denali?" Esme asked.

"So did I."

"I didn't see….," Alice gasped. "How could I not have seen this?"

Jasper put his arm around her. "This wasn't a decision that Bella made, Alice. You couldn't have seen."

"But why didn't I see Laurent?"

"Maybe he came upon her accidentally. Maybe he wasn't here for her. If so, his decision would have come too quickly for you to see it." Alice nodded at Jasper's words, unconvinced, and tucked her head against his chest. Her eyes remained on Bella.

Rosalie put a hand on Alice's shoulder and squeezed. She and Emmett turned to go upstairs. Emmett offered over his shoulder, "Carlisle, just call us if you need us." I nodded.

The screech from upstairs surprised all of us. "God dammit! Stay the fuck out of my room! It reeks of wet dog in here! I will tear you apart!" A door slammed, rattling the windows.

Jacob smirked. "I'd love for you to try."

Emmett's growl reverberated down the steps.

"All right. Enough. All of this tension is not helping Bella."

Jacob nodded, then took a few steps back before sliding down against a wall into a sitting position.

Alice came around to Bella's side and knelt down. She put her hand on Bella's forehead, and Bella seemed to calm immediately. When Alice moved her hand away Bella whimpered. Alice's face contorted into a heartbroken expression before she leaned her upper body down and laid her head and chest across Bella's torso. It seemed to calm her immediately. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. But I'm here now, sweetie. You're not alone."

Bella's eyes fluttered once before closing altogether. Unconsciousness seemed to reclaim her, which was for the best. All there was to do now was wait.

EPOV

I slammed the phone shut.

_No! No! No! No! This can't be happening. It can't be. It can't._

I stood up from my place on the attic floor, oblivious to the sounds of life coming from the floors below me and the street outside.

I paced back and forth several times. The phone rang again and I turned it off. I needed to think. _I can't think!_

I was screaming at myself in my head. _SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET SOMEONE AND HAVE BABIES AND GROW OLD._

I crashed to my knees on the floor and curled my head into my chest. _ I failed her again. And it cost her her life._

_Bella_. I choked out a sob.

_I have been a curse to her since the day I first laid eyes on her. Why the fuck didn't I stay away when I had the chance? It was a mistake that I—no, she—would have to pay for forever._

I debated what I should do. My family was going to her. They would help her. I wanted to be there, too. But I knew she wouldn't want to see me. _God, what I did to her in the woods that day._ _It was unforgivable._

But as I am an inherently selfish creature, I couldn't force myself to do what was best for her and stay away. I flew out of the house and through the crowded and gritty streets, thanking God for the cloudy day. I wasn't entirely sure what city I was in. I had been wondering in South America for months now, wallowing in my excruciating misery following my complete failure at tracking Victoria.

_If she had anything to do with this I will pull her limb from fucking limb and laugh while I'm doing it._

The distance between where I was and Forks seemed insurmountable. Every minute it took me to get back to her made my head feel like it was going to explode.

I arrived at an airport half an hour later. I was in Rio de Janeiro. I ran to the ticket counter. "I need the next available flight to Seattle, Washington." The agent seemed to start at my appearance, but quickly typed her fingers across the keys.

"The next flight leaves at 3:25 p.m. It makes stops in Santiago, Chile, and Dallas, Texas, before arriving in Seattle at," she focused on her screen, "10:20 a.m. Seattle time tomorrow."

I calculated quickly in my head. Nearly 25 hours travel time.

"Is there any other combination that would arrive sooner?"

It took every shred of discipline I had not to leap over the counter and shove her out of the way so I could do this myself.

"No, sir, that appears—"

"Fine." I slapped my credit card and passport on the counter with enough force to make the agent jump.

I finalized the purchase and skulked over to a waiting area. I had two hours before my flight. I directed all my mental energy on speeding the hands on the clock on a nearby pillar. But all there was to do was wait.

Finally, the first leg of the flight began boarding. This trip was going to take every ounce of patience and restraint I had ever had. It was over six hours to Chile, then a two-hour wait there, followed by a ten-hour flight to Texas. Another two-hour layover awaited me before the five-hour flight to Seattle.

My impatience combined with my lack of feeding to make me more dangerous than I had ever allowed myself to be around humans before. And I was going to be packed among these people for hours. To the extent I could think about anything besides Bella, I pitied the poor souls who would have to sit near me.

In Chile, the waiting got the best of me. For the first time in hours, I turned my phone back on. There were a dozen missed calls, almost all from Alice. I hit the send button. Alice answered before the end of the first ring.

"Thank God, Edward. Where are you?" I hadn't realized how much I missed her voice.

"In an airport in Chile."

"Are you…you're coming." It wasn't a question.

"Did you need to ask?"

"No, but I need to know you're not going to change your mind."

I paused. "I won't."

Multiple questions tried to force themselves out of my mouth at the same time. Alice filled the silence with one short sentence that told me everything I needed to know: "It was Laurent." I stifled the growl rattling in my chest. The man three seats down in the waiting area still got up and moved.

"How long?"

"Tomorrow, I think."

"So soon?"

"I know. But that's what I keep seeing. When do you get here?"

"I should be in Forks before 11:30 in the morning."

"Okay, Edward. Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you, Edward. We all have."

"Me too, Alice. Thanks."

"Okay. We'll be waiting for you." She hung up.

I sat and waited for the ten-hour flight to Texas to board.


	6. Chapter 6: Reunions

APOV

This day was going to be bittersweet.

I was getting so many things that I wanted. I got to see my best friend again. My favorite sibling was coming home. My family was all in the same place.

Except it was all mixed up. Bella, my best friend, was dying before my eyes, no, changing. And it remained to be seen whether she would think that was good or bad. And my almost-lost brother was sure to torture himself endlessly over Bella's fate. I was praying that for once Edward would be able to get beyond his sense of unworthiness for anything good in life.

Throughout the night, I sat on the floor next to the couch on which Bella lay burning I held her hand, talked to her, and wiped cool compresses across her face. When morning came, I knew there wasn't much time left.

"She will awaken this afternoon," I said to everyone and no one in particular.

Carlisle came to my side immediately. "So soon? It's unprecedented."

I shrugged. "Around 5 o'clock, I think."

He nodded. "She's coming along perfectly." The affection in his voice was apparent, and I smiled up at him.

"If no one objects," I looked from Carlisle to Jacob, still leaning against the living room wall across from the couch, "I am going to take her upstairs and get her cleaned up."

"Of course, Alice." Carlisle squeezed my shoulder and then stepped away. Jacob nodded cursorily.

Gently, I slipped my arms under Bella's shoulders and knees. I lifted her into my arms and carried her up the stairs into my bedroom. I laid her on my bed and then walked into the adjoining bathroom and ran a cool bath. While the tub filled, I came back in my room and stripped the scrubs and damp undergarments off. I had to give the dog credit—he had taken care of her in so many ways while we weren't here.

I couldn't help but grimace when Bella's naked body lay before me. She was always slender, but she was so much thinner than she had been before we left. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she had lost fifteen pounds. Her leanness in no way detracted from her beauty, but it was just a particularly telling reminder of how much she had been hurt as a result of our departure.

I picked her up again and cradled her gently into the water. Initially, the feel of the water against her skin seemed to agitate her, and I began to doubt the wisdom of the bath. But after a few moments, the water's cool temperature seemed to soothe her. Rather than torment her already tortured skin by washing her with a sponge or cloth, I simply rubbed my soapy hand across her body to clean her. Next I turned my attention to her hair, which was matted with mud in the back. Once I had cleansed her hair, I was surprised to see discernible auburn highlights brighten her warm chestnut locks. She was going to be stunning.

I laid some thick bath towels out on my bed and settled her body on top of them. I figured air drying was least likely to cause her pain. I pulled my bedroom door shut behind me and went in search of Esme. I found her in her bedroom. She was sitting on her bed holding a framed picture in her hands. I knocked gently.

"Oh," she smiled, "come in, Alice."

I walked across the room and pushed myself up on the bed next to her. She held Edward and Bella's prom picture in her hands.

I put my arms around her shoulders. I knew she missed Edward terribly. She literally ached for him, as his loss dredged up old human feelings of the child she lost. During the past six months, Jasper had sometimes found it difficult to be around Esme.

"Is he going to be okay?" She looked at me, trying to keep the hope out of her eyes.

"I don't know yet. I can't see." She nodded.

"How is Bella?"

"Carlisle says everything is as it should be. She will awaken late this afternoon."

I noticed Esme look down at her wristwatch. Everyone was anxiously awaiting Edward's return. He was due in about three and a half hours - by 11:30.

She choked a sob. "I don't know what would have happened to her if you hadn't seen…."

"Sshhh. I know. I know. But we're here now. We have to make that count."

Esme nodded. I suspected that she, like me, was afraid of Bella's reaction to us. We had all failed her on some level.

"Esme, can I borrow a set of clothes for Bella? I really don't want to leave today to go get her something."

"Of course, dear." She laid the frame down on the mattress and then moved to her things. She laid some options out on the bed, and I selected from among them: undergarments, socks, a pair of dark jeans, and a beautiful blue cashmere sweater. I also grabbed a pair of flat ankle boots. I wasn't sure if they would fit or not, but I was hoping to avoid the brown hiking boots she had been wearing.

I hugged Esme and scooped up the clothing, then returned to Bella, who was now moaning gibberish. She seemed to be on the edge of consciousness, so I tried to be as quick and gentle as possible in dressing her. I cringed when she let out a series of anguished yelps as I slid the jeans up her legs.

Carlisle knocked softly on the door and suggested I return Bella to the living room, which had the most space for the whole family to be there when she woke up. Moments later she was once again lying on the suede sofa. With her dark hair, pale skin, red lips, and beauty, she could have been Snow White.

I took up vigil once again on the floor next to her. All there was to do was wait.

EPOV

As I got closer to Washington—closer to being reunited with Bella—every mile stripped away one part of the agony of being separated from her, but replacing it was a heavy dose of fear. Fear that she would hate me. Fear that she would love me still.

The flight to Seattle blessedly arrived ten minutes ahead of schedule. And I was off the plane and to the car rental counter in minutes. I asked for something fast and reliable and smirked at the gods when the agent offered me a Volvo SR80. It didn't matter though. Within 16 minutes of landing, I was speeding west towards Forks.

Every thought process in my brain was focused on the need to see Bella. I ran through cherished images from my memory. Bella looking at me over the microscope in Biology. Bella questioning me across the lunch table. Bella holding my hand in the meadow. Bella sleeping in her bed. Bella dancing with me at Prom. My Bella. Warm. Soft. Full of life.

_Not anymore._

I gripped the steering wheel harder and pressed my foot down on the gas pedal. Finally, 30 minutes after leaving the airport, I turned into the long gravel driveway to the…my…house. I barely slowed down as I tore up the rough drive. And I screeched to a halt in front of the house.

Without a pause I was out of the car and flying across the grass, only slowed in my progress by Alice greeting me at the foot of the porch steps. She threw herself around my neck, and I returned her enthusiasm. I hadn't realized just how badly I missed her until I saw her again.

Soon all of my family came out. One by one they greeted me, welcoming me back like nothing had ever happened. Carlisle hugged me tight and called me 'son.' Esme stifled a sob and lovingly scolded me never to leave her again while she rocked me in her arms. Emmett lifted me off my feet in a huge bear hug. Jasper shook my hand and gripped my shoulder, sending me a wave of intense brotherly love. Even Rosalie greeted me warmly, hugging me fiercely and telling me she'd kick my ass if I ever pulled another stunt like that. I didn't deserve their unconditional acceptance. But I needed it. A missing part of myself snapped back into place.

All at once, everyone seemed to stop breathing. My intention was clear on my face. It was time for me to go inside. As I reached the top step I stopped in response to Emmett's thoughts. "You left Bella alone with a werewolf?"

I flew through the door, assessing the danger. All I saw was Jacob Black, now standing defiantly at the foot of the couch.

Instinctively I crouched, a hiss ripping through my teeth, revealed by my pulled back lips.

I felt a hand on my arm. Carlisle. "Edward, he saved her. He's her friend."

I looked back and forth between them, bristling at the smug look that overtook the dog's face. As I went to take a step forward I was assaulted with images that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to double over in pain. I grabbed my head. These were an ugly mockery of my cherished images of Bella. In quick succession, I saw Bella laying nearly catatonic on the forest floor in the fetal position, Bella screaming in her sleep, Bella looking gaunt and drawn, Bella crying, endlessly crying, and Bella's face contorted in pain as Laurent bit her.

Alice guessed first what was happening. "Jacob! Enough!" His eyes flashed up to hers.

"He has to know!"

"Perhaps. But not now. Now is about Bella." Her slight frame was dwarfed by his massive one, but she radiated every bit as much power.

The images stopped, and I gingerly straightened upright. I was torn between hatred for Jacob and intense gratitude to him. I shoved those feelings aside. They were keeping me from taking the remaining four steps forward towards my love.

Jacob finally stepped aside and I saw her. I hesitated for just a moment, and then I flew to her side, throwing myself to my knees before her. I grabbed her hand in mine and rubbed my hand over her hair as I evaluated her. Her warmth and softness were gone, and nearly her heart. But, thank God, _she was still my Bella_. I noted the little changes. Her hair had beautiful mahogany highlights, adding depth and richness to her already magnificent chestnut hue. She had dark circles under her eyes. But her skin appeared to be glowing, it was so flawless and ethereal. Her lips remained the same—her bottom one more full than her top—but they were an even more lovely shade of red. I would never have thought it possible to improve physically upon her beauty, but Bella was exquisite.

After a while, I looked up to Alice. "Thank you for looking, for seeing. For coming for her." She smiled and nodded.

I had gathered the full story of the past hours' events from my family's thoughts, so I next looked to Jacob. "Thank you…for taking care of her." He nodded, though his face remained dark.

I looked around to my father. "Carlisle, how is she?"

"She's just fine, son. She'll be just fine." He came over and squeezed my shoulder.

"But it's so fast."

"I know. Leave it to Bella to be different." He smiled down at me.

Alice said 5 o'clock. All afternoon I stayed by her side, stroking her hair, holding her hand, and talking gently to her. The anticipation was killing me. Even if she sent me away, as I suspected she would, at least I got to see her again. And I would own up to the blasphemy of my words to her that day in the woods. Then I would leave so that she could stay with my family. I knew they would accept and love her unconditionally. And then she would have a place to belong.

BPOV

The pain was so consuming that I no longer had enough presence of mind to plead for help. I was at sea in it, awash in a thick, roiling ocean of flaming blackness. Just as I was about to allow myself to be pulled under, a coolness washed over me, pushing back the inferno just enough to allow me to hold on. Every once in a while the coolness would leave me, and I would struggle to find it again. When it would eventually return, I would moan in appreciation and relief.

I was dying. If the pain wasn't proof, or the loss of myself, then the vibrancy and beauty of Edward's voice surely was. I don't know how he did it, but he was here with me somewhere in this miasmic darkness. Encouraging me. Soothing me. Loving me. I needed to believe those words and feelings too much in that moment to realize they couldn't possibly be true.

A little at a time I started to become aware of a change. Somewhere far off, at the far reaches of my very self, the hot blackness started to recede. I became aware of my self in stages. My extremities, my head, my torso. But the relief was cut short by the complete focus of the conflagration in my chest. My heart pounded, futilely struggling against the fire. Agony seized me and my chest arched up.

Beat.

Beat.

B…e…a…t….

Then there was nothing.

Then there was everything.

An explosion of sounds, smells, textures.

I blinked open my eyes. I was completely overwhelmed by the light, the detail, the clarity, the spectrum of colors—many of which I had never before seen and had no words to describe.

All at once my instincts gripped me and shouted _Danger! Danger!_

I pushed myself from my prone position and unthinkingly flipped backward up and off the couch. I landed with precision on bare feet and sunk immediately into a low crouch.

The feral snarl alarmed me, and I searched unsuccessfully for its source. I started at the realization that it was coming from me, but the threat felt too imminent to think more about it.

There were eight of them and one of me. It took me two seconds to assess each of them.

Standing closest to me were the males. A huge one with a…kind…face? I couldn't trust my judgments yet. A blond one with a look of intense concentration. Another blond one who looked curious and held his hands up in front of him. A tall, lean one with bronze hair. I couldn't fathom the look on his face at all. And a massive dark-skinned one who appeared shocked.

Behind them were three females. Standing immediately behind the intense blond male was a very small black-haired girl. Her radiant smile distracted me momentarily. Standing further back was a kind-looking woman with caramel hair and a strikingly gorgeous blond woman with an unreadable expression.

My mind assessed the threats. The two males on the outside of the formation caused me the greatest concern.

When the blond male in the center spoke, it startled me. "Jacob, you should go." He kept his eyes on me as he spoke. I felt the beauty of his voice somewhere in the center of my chest. I growled as the dark-skinned one moved, but then was confused when he moved away from me, slowly, and then left through a door altogether.

The intense blond then spoke, and his voice was as melodic. He placed a hand on the arm of the big one next to him. "I think she feels threatened by you, Emmett. Step back." The big one's face fell slightly but did as he was told. My instincts didn't seem to know how to respond to this behavior.

The other blond responded. "You think?"

He nodded. "Yes. I can't feel her anymore. But she keeps looking at Emmett." The group's response to his words momentarily alarmed me. Heads snapped in his direction and the girl gasped.

"Bella?"

My eyes snapped to the bronze-haired male. He took a step towards me and I growled in response.

"Edward, don't—," the intense one began. But the male approaching me cut him off with a raised hand.

He took another step, then another.

I retreated slightly, feeling trapped by the wall behind me.

Then he sunk down to his knees in front of me.

"Bella, love, please. We all love you. You are safe. No one is going to harm you."

I felt like he was telling the truth but everything was so new, so confusing. I wasn't sure if I was reading the situation correctly.

"I know it's confusing. You've just been changed. Don't be alarmed."

I slowly rose out of my crouch. "I…." The sound of my voice distracted me and my hand flew to my mouth. I heard the little one giggle. My eyes flashed to her. I felt a tug somewhere in my brain.

Then the man in front of me recaptured my attention. "Bella, do you remember any of us? We are your family."

"Family?"

"Yes, love."

"Love?"

He bowed his head. It made me want to go to him. "Yes," he whispered.

I took a tentative step forward. "Don't…don't move," I half commanded, half plead. He held stone still. My instincts were screaming at me to keep my distance, to assess the situation, to better understand what I was seeing before me. But I felt so _drawn_ to him that I couldn't stop myself. I reached out a hand. Slowly it closed the distance to his head.

When my hand settled on his silky hair I felt like I was struck by an electric charge. A barrage of images began assaulting my brain, and my knees buckled underneath me. I fell to the ground in front of the boy, who caught me in his arms and pulled me tightly to his chest.

Images, endless images. Voices, endless snippets of conversations. Emotions, wave after wave of memories.

Some other part of my brain was aware of the commotion around me. The beautiful voices sounded all wrong—distorted by fear and concern.

The voices were calling my name, which was now familiar to me, over and over again.

I don't know how much time passed. It could have been minutes or days. As quickly as it started, it stopped.

I blinked my eyes back open and the bronze boy's face was inches above mine. His eyes were filled with love and anguish. I reached a hand up and cupped his face. He leaned his cheek into my palm.

"Edward."

He let out a choked sob than blossomed into a dazzlingly beautiful smile. Around me the others were animated in their relief.

A voice to my left called to me. "Bella, how are you? What do you remember?"

I gingerly turned my head and faced Carlisle. "Everything. I remember everything."


	7. Chapter 7: Reunions, Part II

_I blinked my eyes back open and the bronze boy's face was inches above mine. His eyes were filled with love and anguish. I reached a hand up and cupped his face. He leaned his cheek into my palm._

_"Edward."_

_He let out a choked sob that blossomed into a dazzlingly beautiful smile. Around me, the others were animated in their relief._

_A voice to my left called to me. "Bella, how are you? What do you remember?"_

_I gingerly turned my head and faced Carlisle. "Everything. I remember everything."_

***

BPOV

I shifted my eyes from Carlisle's and scanned the expectant faces of the Cullens who stood all around him. When I saw Alice, something in my brain clicked. I struggled to rise, for the first time realizing I was lying on the floor in Edward's arms. I glanced at his face, feeling awkward all of a sudden, and pushed free of him. He helped me to my feet. I walked directly over to Alice, slowing only when Jasper moved to step in front of her.

She huffed and stepped around him, then we both took the remaining two steps towards each other and embraced like the long-lost friends that we were.

"You took care of me," I sobbed into her hair.

"Of course I did." Her voice sounded full of emotion, too.

"Thank you," I whispered. She planted a kiss on my cheek.

I pulled back from her enough to see her face. Jasper remained tense directly next to us. "You left me." The emotional baggage that went with that simple sentence descended on me all at once. I stepped farther back from her, our arms dropping from one another. "You all left me." My voice started out as a rasp but rose in intensity and volume with each syllable.

I spun on my heel and faced Edward. "_You. Left. Me._"

I felt a hand on my shoulder—whose I didn't know—and I forcefully shrugged it off and stepped away. All of my attention and emotion was focused in one direction now—_at him_—and wouldn't be diverted.

Edward's face looked paler, if possible, and his body language was entirely contrite. I started shaking my head back and forth. "You…you said you didn't _want_ me. You said that I was _no good_ for you."

I heard a gasp behind me. I pushed on.

_"_And now I'm…I'm a…._Why. Are. You. Here?_"

Suddenly, a noise caught my attention. It was the only sound capable of distracting my mind from unleashing the full force of my fury on Edward—a heartbeat. My eyes shifted around as I attempted to find the source of the steady thrumming. I swallowed thickly, noticing the sharp burn in my throat for the first time. I instinctively inhaled deeply through my nose. I fell into a crouch again.

I felt hands on my shoulders and heard a gentle voice. "It's okay, Bella," Carlisle said, "I know you don't understand yet. You're hearing and smelling Jacob. He's outside."

I rose immediately. "What?" _Jake_.

Before anyone could react, I pushed through them and was out the front door. _Where?_ There was no one anywhere I could see. I was aware of the others following behind me. "Jake? Jake, where are you?"

He emerged from the treeline at the far side of the long gravel drive, a football field away.

"Bella, it's not a good idea for you to get any closer to him now," Carlisle cautioned.

"But it's Jake. You don't understand. He took care of me. Jake!" The full run of memories of just how much he'd taken care of me flashed through my mind. "You saved me."

"Yes," he said lowly, though I heard him easily.

I looked back at Carlisle. All of their faces were frozen in concern. They appeared ready to spring at me. All of a sudden it occurred to me. I turned to face them. "You…you all think…I…I'm not going to hurt him. _That's Jacob_. He's my best friend."

"Bella, _he's human_," Carlisle began.

Emmett snorted, and Carlisle flashed him a warning.

_Oh!_ I threw my hands up over my mouth. The significance of his words, of that one word in particular—_human_—finally hit me. "And I'm not," I whispered through my fingers.

Carlisle shook his head remorsefully.

"Oh God! _Charlie!_"

Carlisle was beside me in an instant. He put his arm around my shoulder. "We'll figure it all out, Bella. Okay?"

"How is she doing this?" Jasper asked.

My eyes flashed to his.

"I don't know, Jasper. We'll figure everything out," Carlisle responded.

"What? What am I doing?"

They exchanged knowing glances.

Edward finally spoke. "Bella, maybe we could all go back inside and…talk…a little?" I nodded weakly, the realization that I could never see Charlie again having knocked all the fight out of me.

I took a step towards the house, and the others started in that direction too, but then I remembered Jake. I turned back to face him. "But, Carlisle, I don't feel like I want to hurt him."

"That's good, Bella. That's very good. But we don't want to take any chances, do we?"

I shook my head, defeated. "No. I'm sorry, Jake. Thank you for…everything."

Carlisle looked out towards Jacob. "Just give her some time, Jacob. You don't have to leave. Let me just…assess the situation."

Jake nodded once and stepped back into the treeline. Then he was gone.

"After you, Bella," Carlisle offered, raising a hand towards the door.

I walked numbly back up the steps. Moments later, everyone was standing awkwardly around the room. "Why don't we all sit down?" Carlisle suggested.

I sat stiffly on one end of the couch, and Carlisle sat down next to me. Edward sat in an armchair next to my end of the couch, and Jasper sat in an armchair directly across from me. His intense scrutiny was beginning to make me uncomfortable. I stared back at him hard.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just don't understand."

"You keep saying that…."

"All right, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Carlisle interrupted. "One step at a time."

"Bella, may I ask you some questions?" I nodded to Carlisle.

"Okay. You said you remember everything. What do you mean?"

"I mean…I remember…everything."

"The change?"

"Yes." Unfortunately.

"Your life before?"

"_Yes_. Everything." I was getting impatient.

"Astounding."

"Why? Why is that astounding?" They remembered things from their lives, didn't they? I recalled a conversation with Edward about his parents, about him wanting to join the war to be a soldier, about living in Chicago.

"Bella, the process of being changed usually interferes with the retention of human memories. Somehow, yours were shielded from that interference." He paused. "Let me think on that. Okay, from Jacob's description, it was Laurent who attacked you?" I nodded. "Did he say anything?"

"Um, no. Not really. He was just here to visit you." I thought for a moment. "Oh, well, he said that Victoria would be disappointed because…because she wanted to kill me herself."

Edward hissed. "Of course! How did I not realize? For James. Oh, God, Bella. This is all my fault."

I found myself wanting to both comfort him and blame him, but then Jasper's voice distracted me.

"That's it." We all looked towards him. "Something you said, Carlisle…Edward can't hear her thoughts, and now I can't feel her emotions. And she kept her memories."

"She's a shield," Jasper and Rosalie both said at the same time. They looked at one another and nodded, then looked back to Carlisle.

"That's why…," Edward murmured.

"What's a shield?" I looked to Carlisle.

"Well, I'll have to look into this more. But, I agree, it appears you have a special ability, Bella, like Edward and Alice and Jasper. You appear to be able to block anyone from accessing or interfering with the physiology of your brain. Perhaps the shield protected the memory center of your brain as well."

"But I can still see her," Alice began.

"Yes, but what you see are the outcomes of her decisions, Alice, rather than the actual thoughts themselves. So you see her future behavior, not into her mind." Carlisle appeared fascinated now. "I wonder if you retained any other human abilities…."

This was interesting to me, too, but there remained something of greater import to discuss. "Carlisle, what am I going to do about Charlie?"

"Right. Whatever we're going to do, Bella, we have to do today. You've been missing for two and a half days. They've mounted search parties for you. I think you should have a say in this, and I think these are your options. First—"

"The bears…er, wolves," I stated.

"What?" Jasper and Edward spoke at the same time, and both appeared tense now.

"There…there have been bear attacks going on…for the past several weeks. Except…except I don't think they're bears."

"Can you explain further, Bella?" Carlisle asked gently.

"When…when Laurent…attacked me. Right after he…bit…they weren't bears. _They were huge wolves_."

I couldn't understand the looks on their faces. "We can stage a…."

"…bear attack?" Emmett finished with a smirk.

I nodded. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Carlisle responded with concern in his voice. "You're right, Bella. You did see wolves. I don't think that is what's been attacking people, though."

"But Carlisle, you didn't see them. They were not regular wolves. They were like horses."

"Bella," Edward began softly, "I know this is going to sound crazy, but do you remember when I told you not to go into the woods? That we weren't always the most dangerous thing out there?"

The image of my leaning into Edward's car window as he dropped me off at my house so many months ago flashed through my mind. I nodded.

"Vampires aren't the only supernatural creatures in Forks."

"_What?_"

"What you saw were werewolves, Bella," Carlisle continued. "But they don't kill innocent people." He seemed to hesitate for a moment. "They're Quileutes, Bella."

_Quileutes?_ My mind wanted to shout, 'that's ridiculous!', but for some reason my brain immediately thought of Sam, of Jacob's fears that something weird was happening with Sam and some of the others. And that he was going to be next. _Next_. "Jacob," I whispered unconsciously. My eyes flashed up to Carlisle, and he nodded. "_Jake is a werewolf?_" All of a sudden I could hear his voice in my mind as we walked down the sand at First Beach, _"Another legend claims that we descended from wolves—and that the wolves are our brothers still….well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."_

That was it. I couldn't sit there anymore like this was a friendly neighborhood visit. I flew from my seat and began pacing around the room. Jasper stood, too, clearly anxious about my behavior. He was exasperating me. "Jasper, for God's sake. I just need to think." Alice giggled and I looked over to her. I stopped pacing. "I really missed that sound, Alice."

She flew at me instantly and grabbed my hands in hers. "Oh, Bella. I know this is all so much. And I'm so sorry this happened. But, please, Bella. I missed you so much. I'm so sorry. Please, please can't you forgive me?"

She was so earnest. I didn't doubt her words. I bit my bottom lip, surprised at the sharpness of my teeth against my skin, and nodded.

"Oh, thank you, Bella!" She threw her arms around me. I returned the hug, smiling for the first time.

"Bella?" Carlisle recaptured my attention. "About Charlie?"

My smile faded immediately. "Right."

"Rosie and I can stage the bear attack, Carlisle. The dog—Jacob threw the clothes she was wearing out back."

Carlisle nodded, adding, "When you're done, Emmett, scout around. See if you can find any explanation for these 'bear' attacks." Emmett nodded once, then he and Rosalie left quietly.

"Charlie," I whispered. I felt Alice's arms around me again. "I'll never see him again, will I?"

"No. It wouldn't be safe. For either of you." Carlisle's voice was laced with sympathy. I choked back a sob and nodded.

Jasper approached me, and Edward rose behind him. "Bella, I'm sorry that I'm so concerned, but I don't understand how you're remaining so calm. The…stress of this situation, of all the information that's coming at you. You shouldn't be able to handle it this calmly."

"I'm not calm," I whispered. "Not at all, Jasper. I feel like I'm going crazy." I swallowed thickly. Jasper noticed.

"Carlisle, I think she should hunt."

"I'll take her," Edward offered from behind Jasper. "I mean, if that's okay with you, Bella."

I nodded. "I…I don't know how."

Alice kissed my cheek again and then dropped her arms. "Don't worry Bella. You'll do great. I've seen it." She had a confident smile. I managed a weak smile in response.

Edward placed his hand on the small of my back and gestured towards the door. I nodded and we walked out together. I noticed him nod over his shoulder, apparently in reply to some unspoken thought from one of the others.

EPOV

The thoughts of my family came in a barrage as we walked out the door:

Carlisle: _Stay close to her Edward. She seems surprisingly under control, but this might just be some kind of delayed reaction._

Jasper: _How is this possible? She's a newborn for God's sake. Edward, don't get complacent. She was furious with you earlier. It was only Jacob's arrival that kept her from acting out on those emotions._

Esme: _It's so good seeing them together. It's so good having all of us together again. I just want you to be happy, Edward._

Alice: _So help me, Edward, if you don't make this right by Bella I will kill you. For once in your life, listen to me. Stop thinking about leaving and pull up your damn sleeves and do the hard work of earning her trust and forgiveness. Fight for her, Edward. She needs you. She needs all of us._

I nodded back to all of them, and then we were outside.

I looked at Bella, walking several feet to my right. I ached to close the space between us. I knew she was hurting about, well, _all_ of this. But it didn't feel like my place. Yet. "There's a creek a few miles from here that animals use as a watering hole. Shall we run?"

"Okay." She looked shy around me, more shy than she had ever acted as a human, I noted regretfully.

"Come on," I said, and we took off. She was a thing of beauty to behold. Graceful, agile, and powerful. After a few minutes, I called out to her. "Slow down, Bella, stop."

She skidded to a halt and immediately smelled the elk near the creek. Before I even had a chance to say anything, her instincts kicked in and she was off. I took off after her in time to see her leap across the creek and take a big buck to the ground. She hadn't been particularly quiet about it, though, and the remainder of the herd began to scatter, so I incapacitated two others for her and took two for myself before they could all get away. Her technique was unpolished but natural. I found it surprisingly appealing to watch her hunt.

When she was sated, she rolled over onto her back on the ground and stared up through the trees, the moonlight now providing some diffuse light. The atmosphere was thick between us with things unspoken.

"Bella, I—"

"Don't Edward. This doesn't change anything."

"_What?_" There was no way she was going to keep me from saying what I needed to say. "Bella, you need to listen."

She flew to her feet and began walking. I leapt up and followed after her.

"Bella, please, stop."

She whirled around and faced me, a fierce expression on her face. The next thing I knew I was laying on my back five feet away. The force of her slap to my face had knocked me off my feet.

She looked equal parts furious and equal parts horrified at her actions. "Edward, I—"

I raised my hand to her. "Don't say anything, Bella. I deserved that. And more." Remaining where I sat, I tried again. "Will you please listen to me?"

She remained where she was but started shaking her head back and forth. "No, Edward. I can't. I can't do it again. I can't hear…that…again. I can't."

"But Bella, I lied," I blurted.

A storm of dark emotions clouded over her face. She took off running. I was only a second behind her.

"Bella, _please!_"

She was a good hundred feet in front of me. She was stronger right now, but I was faster. I was steadily catching up. "Stop following me, Edward!" she screamed over her shoulder.

"No, Bella, never!" I pushed harder, my very life depended on her listening to what I had to say.

"I'm serious, Edward!" She punctuated that by hurling a tree branch that I just managed to avoid.

"Bella, _stop!_" I was within twenty feet of her now.

"Please, Edward. Let me go."

_Never. Again._ I lunged at her. I wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled us to the ground, turning my body to absorb the impact with the forest floor. She shrieked in surprise and outrage.

Our bodies came to rest hard against the trunk of a huge old oak tree that creaked in protest at our impact. Bella began struggling immediately. _God she's strong_. Tormented though I was about the pain she was so obviously feeling, my body couldn't help but notice how the change had transformed her body. She was…_durable_. I didn't have to worry about breaking her anymore. And while she still smelled like Bella to me—that incredible mix of freesia, strawberry, and honeysuckle—it no longer burned my throat.

"Stop fighting," I said as she growled and kicked me hard in the shin. "Bella! _Bella! Stop!_"

Using all my might, I flipped us around and pinned her arms and legs against the ground underneath me.

"Stop fighting me, please," I whispered.

Her breathing was hard. "Please Edward, don't—"

"Sshhh, it's okay."

She was shaking her head back and forth. "Please," she whimpered.

"Please just listen to me." I kept her pinned because every few seconds I felt her test her restraints. I think I was only able to hold her down because she didn't realize just how much stronger than me she really was. Clearly, I wasn't the only one still learning the full implications of her change.

She bit on her bottom lip and closed her eyes.

"Please look at me."

BPOV

_Why is he doing this to me again?_

I opened my eyes as he requested. _God, he is so beautiful_. And, even more than that, with my new eyes I could see that I hadn't even truly seen him before. His bronze hair had flecks of copper in it as well. And his golden eyes were ten times more brilliant and dazzling than they had seemed to my human eyes. And _his smell_. Honey and cinnamon and chocolate. He was the truest embodiment of male physical perfection I had ever seen.

And if seeing him wasn't painful enough, _feeling_ him was damn near excruciating. He wasn't hard anymore, or cold. He felt…we felt…the same.He was holding me tight, with no apparent regard for my safety. He was quite specifically _not_ being gentle with me. But what I most noticed was that the entirety of his body weight was now pressed tightly against me, pinning me to the ground. It was the most exquisite sensation I had ever felt in my life.

_But he's not mine_. I tried pushing him off one last time but he held fast, apparently determined to say whatever it was he wanted to say. I took a deep breath. "Fine, Edward. Just say what you have to say."

"Bella, that day…in the woods"—he at least had the decency to look sheepish about mentioning that to me—"I lied to you. Everything I said was a lie." _What?_ _No. No, no._ "What happened at your birthday party, _when a member of my own family attacked you_…I just knew right then that there was no way you could remain safe in my world. And I knew I could never live with myself if something happened to you and I hadn't done everything in my power to prevent it. So I lied, Bella. I lied. I told you I didn't love you, didn't want you, because I knew that was the only way you would let me go. I told you that you were no good for me because I knew you would put my needs before your own. It was the very blackest kind of blasphemy, Bella. And I'm so, so sorry."

"No, Edward, no." I began struggling again, trying to get out from underneath of him. "I don't believe you. _Let. Me. Go!_"

"No, I can't. You are my life. If I let you go, I die. And I don't want to die. I want to live, Bella. I want you. I love you, Bella. I have always loved you."

Finally I found an untapped font of strength, and I shoved him off me, springing to my feet in one smooth motion.

I whirled on him as he slowly rose to a standing position against the big oak tree. "Bella, please…."

I roared in frustration and struck out against a small maple tree which promptly fell to the ground. _What is the truth? Was he lying then or now?_

I stalked straight up to him. "Why should I believe you now? Why should I believe that now is the truth and not then? Why shouldn't I believe that you're just feeling guilty now for leaving me and for me getting turned? How do I know you're not just saying these things out of some twisted sense of obligation?" I was relentless in the force of my questions.

"Think about it. Please. In the time we were together, how many times did I tell you I loved you, that I wanted to spend my life with you? _How many times, Bella?_"

"Okay, I don't know. A lot. But clearly you got bored with me and moved on to some _other_ little distraction."

"No! It wasn't like that." He seemed to think for a moment. "I know, I know. Bella, do you remember the lunch we had together where you said you thought you cared for me more?" I nodded. "You said you believed that because you thought that I was trying to say good-bye when I was saying something else. And then I explained that if I could leave you, if that was what was best for you, then that proved I loved you more."

"Edward, that is just as ridiculous reasoning now as it was then."

"No, it's not. It's true. I put what was best for you over what was best for me—"

The flat plane of my right hand was against his face before I even thought to do it. This time, though, the bulk of the tree caught his body and held him in an upright position. "What was best for me? _What was best for me?_ First, who are _you_ to decide what is best for _me_? If what we had was _real_, Edward, you would have cared what _I_ thought was best for me, too. Second, _what was best for me?_ You don't have the first clue what you leaving did to me Edward. _I died!_ I was already dead before this," I motioned to my undead body, "even happened to me, Edward." The only reason I'm not already cold in the ground somewhere is because I couldn't do it to Charlie," I snarled.

"Oh, and, by the way, your stupid little promise? _'It will be as if I never existed,'_" I mocked. "Well, you broke it from the very beginning, Edward. Because, while you might have been able to take all your stuff away from me," I pointed forcefully to my head, "you couldn't take my memories away." I was panting hard from the exertion of the conversation. "You stole my whole fucking future away, Edward! You introduced me to a world of magic and beauty. And when you left, _you took it all away_—my _future_, my _happiness_, my _heart_. You left me a shell, Edward, a fucking shell! I couldn't sleep because I'd dream of you. I couldn't eat. I couldn't listen to music or watch TV because all I'd see were things that reminded me of you." I turned away and paced for a moment, before turning back to him. "What was best for me…," I mumbled, "I was already dead."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," his voice cracked on my name. "I know those words can never be enough. But please, please let me try to make it up to you. _Please_. You've got to know, it was the same way for me."

I growled at him fiercely and stalked towards him, but this time he caught both of my hands in his before I could do him any further damage. He whispered in a rush, "It was the same for me, Bella. I swear it. It killed me to leave you. I couldn't even bear to stay with my family. I fled. I…I ended up holing myself up in a dark attic in a filthy tenement—and even _that_ seemed too good for me. I was there for months. I didn't feed. I didn't go out. I didn't see people. I didn't answer the calls from my family. For months, I did nothing but pray for your safety and happiness. I was just waiting, waiting and praying. Just waiting for the day of your natural death, which would be the day I would seek my own."

I was horrified. In a flash, the memory of us watching 'Romeo and Juliet' together on Charlie's couch flashed through my mind. I remember being furious at the suggestion that he would take his own life if I died. It was exactly what he was planning.

When I didn't respond, he continued. "Bella, I don't feel obligated. Not in the least. Exactly the opposite. This life, it's not what I wanted for you." He rushed to add, "But only because I thought you deserved better. But, Bella, now that this has happened, it's all different. The things that made me a threat to your safety, they're all gone. They're all gone, Bella. All the obstacles are gone." His voice was laced with hope.

In the next moment, something completely unexpected came over me. I don't know if it was the fresh blood of the recent hunt coursing through my veins. Or if it was all the stress of the last days and months. Or if it was the unimaginable strength of the emotions I felt in my new body. Or if it was the words we shared between us.

"I want to believe you so badly, Edward," I whispered. "But I'm so afraid to."

"Please believe me. Please? I'll do anything, say anything, to prove it."

I shrugged my hand out of his wrist and grabbed a hold of the front of his shirt, ripping the seams at one shoulder and leaning in to him further. "I don't know if I can ever trust you again, Edward."

"I'll work on earning your trust back every day, Bella. If you'll let me. Every day."

I leaned in closer. "If I believe you Edward…if I let you back in… and you…and you _do_ this to me again. Edward, I will—"

But before I could finish vocalizing my threat, his lips crashed into mine. We both moaned at the contact. He dropped my other wrist and threaded one hand into my hair cupping his hand around the base of my skull, the other wrapping tightly around my waist, pulling me close against his body as he leaned back against the tree.

My hands flew to his face and hair, and I tightly fisted my hands in his silken locks, holding his face to me.

This kiss was like nothing we had ever shared before. It was urgent and needful and rough and tender and was filled with love and regret and anger and forgiveness.

"Please don't hurt me," I whimpered around the edge of a kiss.

"Never," he murmured, his mouth hungry against me.

"Please," I moaned.

"I love you."

I choked on a sob as Edward continued to pour his lips over my mouth, my face, and my neck.

"I love you, Bella."

"Please don't…." I was trying so hard to hold the door to my heart tightly closed.

"Bella, I love you." He plunged his tongue into my mouth, and I couldn't help but moan into the kiss.

He was holding me so tight, I thought he must break me, but it felt so good—I needed his touch so much—that it wasn't painful in the least. It was life giving. It was restoring my heart, causing the pieces of it to snap back together one piece—one kiss—one embrace—at a time.

"Please, Bella, I love you," he pleaded.

"I…."

"I love you, Bella." That time sounded like a command.

"_Oh God,_" I moaned into his mouth.

"I love you, Bella." A plea.

"I…Edward, I love you too."


	8. Chapter 8: Reunions, Part III

BPOV

I pulled back from Edward. He remained pressed against the big oak tree, panting and glorious. I had just shared the most incredible kiss of my entire existence with him, the man I loved. I felt deliriously happy. It created a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I stepped away from him and the tree. I pressed my fingers against my lips and stared at him, feeling somewhat alarmed. He took a few steps towards me. His face was slowly transforming from lust-filled to happy to concerned.

"Bella?" He took a few more steps towards me, approaching me cautiously.

I didn't know what to say. The sensation of the competing emotions was back full force now. I was in love. I was ecstatic. I was aroused. I was angry. I felt betrayed. The latter emotions started winning out.

"Edward, I...." I thought about the way I had spoken to Edward earlier, and about the words that were itching to come out of my mouth. I had never spoken to him this way before.

Then again, he had never treated me so cruelly before.

"What, Bella? What are you thinking?"

I shook my head. "You don't want to know, Edward." _Why am I editing myself now? I wasn't shy twenty minutes ago._ Now I was getting annoyed at myself for falling back into my old reserved ways around him.

"I always want to know what you're thinking, love." He attempted a smile, but the look of concern still filled his eyes.

It was his use of the pet name that did it. How could I love and hate something at the same time? But, right at that moment, it felt too familiar, too presumptuous. I huffed. "Fine. You want to know?" My voice began taking on a harder edge again. "I'm _pissed off_ at you, Edward."

His mouth gaped for a second before he composed his face again. "Okay. I understand." I growled in frustration. He looked confused. "What? Understanding is not good?"

"'Understanding' is annoying, Edward, because it makes it harder for me to be pissed at you. But I _am_ still pissed." I crossed my arms over my chest. I had no idea where we stood at that moment.

"Bella, I have no intention of denying you your right to be angry. What I did to you...I know, Bella...," he seemed to think for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, maybe even a little shy. "Was it unforgiveable?"

_That was the question_. Could I forgive Edward for breaking my heart, for abandoning me, for making me doubt myself, and for leaving me unprotected? And, if I could, could I forget? And, if I couldn't forget, could I deal with the memories without them eating me alive? It was all very confusing.

I had never seen Edward Cullen look his human age more than he did at that moment, standing before me, scared and uncertain, hoping for all the world that I could forgive him perhaps the most idiotic mistake of his long life. He had never looked more boyish. It was heartbreaking, really.

"I...I feel very confused right now, Edward." I was trying hard for some diplomacy now. "You have to give me time. It's all so much." He began nodding. "But there's one thing you must promise me before I can even consider forgiving you."

"Anything, Bella. Name it." The boyishness was gone, having been replaced by the fierceness of the man intent on saving his own life.

"You must absolutely promise to never abandon me again."

"I promise." His voice was solemn.

I thought for a minute. "_Or_ your family."

He looked surprised. "Okay, I promise."

"That was terrible that you left them over me, Edward."

It looked like he was about to protest my characterization of the events but he seemed to think better of it when I leveled a harsh glare in his direction. "Yes, I...you're right, Bella."

"If you want there to be any possibility of a...of anything...between us in the future, Edward, you're going to have to _talk_ to me. To tell _me_ what's going on in _your_ head, too. No more unilateral decisions."

"Of course, Bella, I promise." During our exchange he had taken more steps towards me so that he now stood less than an arm's reach away. "I promise, Bella," he whispered.

He was so close now. He scent was filling my senses.

"Bella?" I looked up at him. "Can I please kiss you again? I've so missed you."

I bit my bottom lip and looked down, and then slowly looked back up and nodded.

He leaned in gradually this time. It felt like time was moving in slow motion. His eyes held mine fast and the closer his lips got the stronger the electrical sensation between us. The anticipation of his touch was maddening, but I felt powerless to do anything to speed up the moment. When his lips finally touched mine, I couldn't help the gasp and moan that came out of me. This time, his kiss was so filled with love and adoration and devotion that if I could have still cried, I would have. He lightly held my face in his hands, a position my hands soon mirrored on him. When he pulled away he leaned his forehead on mine. I'm not sure how long we stood there like that.

"Shall we go back to the house now?" he finally asked.

I nodded and we stepped away from one another, although this time we walked much closer, and we moved at a human pace. I'm not sure why; it just felt right.

I was surprised to realize that my running earlier had taken us so close to the house. In five minutes time, we walked out from the tree line and the back of the big white mansion stood before us. With sudden realization, I looked up at Edward. I saw it there on his face. His family had heard everything.

EPOV

_Edward, I love you, too. Edward, I love you, too. Edward, I love you, too._

I kept playing Bella's words over and over again in my mind, trying desperately to convince myself that she'd really said them, that this was really happening.

Just hours ago I was literally at the abyss of my existence. All meaning was lost. All hope was gone. There was nothing but misery, and the long expanse of endless empty time. And then, like the phoenix, I was reborn from the fiery ashes of my self-imposed hell. Those five words were like the healing tears of the phoenix, restoring my life, a salve to my wounded heart, offering the promise of divinity.

But then she pulled back, and I saw it in her eyes. I didn't doubt her love. But her eyes told me that her love - our love - didn't necessarily resolve the mess I created.

The spectrum of emotions I went through in the span of a few minutes was astounding. I was concerned about the pain I knew she was still feeling. I was proud of the way she stood up for herself and communicated her feelings. There was abject terror at the idea that she wouldn't be able to even consider forgiving me. There was hope and undying gratitude at her request for time. And there was intense, life-altering, earth-moving love in the kiss she allowed me to give her. I remembered being a newborn well; I remembered the emotional turmoil. If this is what I was feeling, I could only imagine the whirlwind of emotions she was experiencing.

We began walking back to the house. Our little bubble was about to be burst. I was aware the whole time how close to the house she had run when I was chasing her. But that was so unimportant in the moment that I hadn't paid it much thought. When she looked up at me, her eyes wide, I knew she finally made the realization that our conversation - fight? - had had an audience.

"You go on in, Edward. I would just like a few minutes to myself." I froze. There were a number of reasons why leaving her alone seemed like not the best idea. I heard Carlisle's thoughts: _I think it's all right Edward. Give her some space. We'll keep an eye on her from in here. Just ask her to stay by the house._

Old habits die hard. "Uh, are you sure, Bella? Perhaps-"

She turned on me in a flash. "Edward, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself for five minutes while you go in the house."

"I...didn't mean...right. Okay. Um, just, please, stay near the house for now?" She nodded and, fighting every fiber in my body that wanted to stay near her, I stepped through the back door. Bella walked to a small ridge in the grass near the back of the house overlooking a creek. She lowered herself gracefully to the ground and hugged her arms around her knees. _I would give anything to know her mind._

Everyone stood silently before me for a few minutes before Emmett finally guffawed. Everyone knew she would be able to hear us, so they began a one-sided conversation with their thoughts. Emmett's teasing seemed loudest. _Bro, she handed you your ass. That was awesome._

Rosalie smiled in response to Emmett's laugh, guessing correctly the general tenor of his thoughts. _If you want to make a good impression on her, Edward, you might want to go get cleaned up before she sees you again._

I frowned and looked down at myself. My clothing was covered in mud from tackling Bella to the still-wet ground and my shirt was torn where Bella had grabbed me. My hands were muddy, too. I had been so focused on her, I hadn't realized any of this.

Esme's thoughts explained the huge hopeful smile on her face. _You fought for her, Edward. I know work remains to be done, but you didn't shy away when it got hard and you fought for her. I'm so proud of you._ Carlisle thoughts were running along a similar vein. I met their eyes and they knew I'd heard.

Jasper's thoughts came next: _I can't understand her emotional control, Edward. She was clearly angry, but she was able to restrain and channel her fury. That's remarkable for a newborn. In all my years, I haven't seen anything like it. It's so frustrating not being able to feel what she's feeling first hand._

"Welcome to my world, Jasper." He frowned, then smirked. Bella was good at thwarting all of us. It was nice to have someone else's powers turn useless around her.

"Alice?" We all turned as we heard Bella's voice call from the backyard. Alice squeaked and in a flash was out the door and sitting on the ground next to Bella. I was surprised at the force of the jealousy I felt. I wanted to be the one sitting out there with her, answering her questions, consoling her.

Jasper felt my emotions; Carlisle read my face. Both of them offered similar sentiments: be patient, give her time to adjust, don't push her.

I was at least grateful I could hear their conversation.

"Hey," Alice said as she sat down.

"Hey," Bella replied, as she stared out at the moonlit scenery in front of her.

"How are you doing?"

Bella finally looked at Alice. "Um, I don't know. It changes from minute to minute."

_God, I want to wrap my arms around her._

"That's normal, Bella. And you're doing so incredibly well. It will all even out. I promise."

I frowned in advance of Alice's next words. "I'm proud of you, Bella. You have every right to be angry at him." She hesitated, then added, "At all of us, really." It was true, but I didn't think it needed emphasizing.

"Sometimes I just feel like I want to _smash _something."

Alice motioned to the woods in front of her. "We could go tear down some trees. The loud crash they make when they fall is pretty satisfying."

"I did knock over one tree." Through Alice's thoughts, I saw Bella's face break into a small smile. "That was sorta cool." Alice laughed, and Bella joined her. The sound made my heart soar.

A few minutes passed quietly between them. I loved how Alice was just being there for Bella, not pushing, not prodding, just listening and being what Bella needed her to be. I forgot my jealousy. Bella's needs came first.

"Alice, can...can you see...I mean...." She got choked up on her words.

Alice put her arm around Bella's shoulders. "Charlie?" Bella nodded, not trusting her voice.

Alice paused for a moment and focused, looking for Charlie's future. I saw the images as they came through her mind: Charlie hearing that a search party had found Bella's bloodied clothing in the woods with signs of a struggle; Charlie continuing to hope and search for weeks; Charlie having to deal with the loss of his friend Harry Clearwater; Charlie finally giving in to his colleagues' advice that Bella had fallen victim to the same spate of bear attacks that had claimed several other lives; Charlie at Bella's funeral, followed by months of overworking and purposeful avoidance of his – their - house. But then there was one tiny bit of silver lining. I sighed in relief. One thing to hopefully ease Bella's mind. In a year's time, Charlie would start to heal, would start to live again. Charlie would fall in love with Sue Clearwater, who, worried about his well being and trying to find a way to distract herself from the loss of her husband, would begin bringing Charlie food and hanging around the house to cook and clean for him.

I tensed as Alice prepared to share this with Bella. "I can see him, Bella. How much do you want to know?"

There was no hesitation. "All of it, Alice. Every single thing you can see."

And so Alice told her. But being the brilliant, incredible, all-knowing sister that she is, she thought to begin at the end of his story, which served to ease the blow of her knowing the pain that Charlie would have to endure first.

Alice sat with Bella for a while longer. And then Bella asked if Alice would leave her alone for a while again. Alice kissed her on the cheek, and they hugged. And then Bella was back to staring at the night.

I heard him just before the others smelled him. In a flash, we were all outside standing around Bella, who had sprung to her feet in equal parts in response to us and in response to the offensive smell now permeating the night air.

A huge russet wolf stood on the far side of the creek, maybe fifty feet from us, significantly closer than he had dared come earlier in the day. Carlisle's words of warning came just seconds before my own, but Bella interrupted both of us.

"Jake?" That one word was filled with fear and confusion and longing and hope.

The huge animal slinked behind a tree and a moment later Jacob stepped out, bare from the waist up. Bella gasped at the transformation. "Yes, Bells. It's me."

Jacob POV

_The way she said my name. She's. Still. Bella._

She took a step towards me, and both Edward and Jasper went to restrain her. She shook them off easily, and I couldn't help but grin. _Atta girl_.

She whirled on them. "Look. He's my friend. I want to talk to him. _Deal with it_."

Edward especially looked stricken. I loved it. I met his eyes, and he sneered at me. I smiled in return.

"Jake?" Somehow her now-red eyes, freaky as they were, still managed to maintain all the same expressiveness that they always had.

"I'm here, Bella." I wanted to go closer, but I hesitated. Not because of _them_. But because my newness at this whole wolf gig meant that it was still hard to control myself. I didn't want to provoke Bella by phasing right in front of her.

"Oh, Jake. I'm scared."

_That's my friend. And she needs me_. I took a few steps closer, now standing right on the edge of the creek. "Don't be scared, Bells. I'm here. We'll make this okay."

"Jake, Charlie...."

"Don't you worry about Charlie. Dad and I will watch out for him. He won't be alone." No doubt my dad already knows what happened.

My heart broke as she choked on a sob.

"Bella, I'd like to try to come closer. Do you think you could handle it if I crossed the creek?" That would put me within 25 feet of her.

"Yes, Jake," she began, at the same time as the others began raising concerns. I ignored them and splashed through the cold water. I stepped up onto the bank and stopped again.

She took a few steps towards me, and everyone tensed. "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a werewolf?" I knew they'd tell her, so I hadn't hesitated to show up in wolf form earlier, in case she couldn't handle my nearness and I needed to get away fast. I had no experience with new bloodsuck-vampires. _Dammit! They're harder to insult now that she's one of them._

"Yes. Crazy, huh?"

"Yeah. Is that...is that why you were staying away from me?" I still felt bad about hurting her when I had promised I never would.

"Yeah. We're not allowed to tell. There are rules. I'm sorry I had to keep it from you, that I had to stay away."

"Don't apologize. I was just worried." She took a few steps closer to me. I saw her wrinkle her nose. _Huh. Do I smell bad to her too?_

She seemed to be thinking. "I remember...," she began. "You were in the meadow with me." She met my eyes, and I nodded. "You tried..._oh God, Jake_...you tried to stop...to help...me?" I nodded again.

The next thing I knew, she was wrapped around me, thanking me for being there for her.

The rest of them circled near. I wasn't sure which of us they were protecting. But whatever they thought she would do or couldn't handle, they were clearly wrong. I smirked. _I hope she keeps them guessing every day for the rest of eternity._

I wrapped my arms tighter around her. Though the sweetness of her scent now burned my nose, and the cold hardness of her body felt unnatural to me, my heart told me this was Bella. And seeing Edward's extreme displeasure at me having her in my arms made me prolong the embrace.

Finally, Bella pulled back. She didn't appear to be breathing. I took a step back. "Bella?" I asked warily.

"No, no." She shook her head, understanding my wariness. "I'm not...I won't...no, it's just...Jake, you..._stink_."

The others were all chortling behind her. If it had just been me and her I would have found more humor in her statement, as well. But Edward and the big one were pissing me off. Still, I didn't want to make Bella uncomfortable, so I finally smiled. "Yeah, well, you don't smell so good to me, either."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Really. Plus, Bells, I gotta say, your eyes are a real freak show."

Edward growled behind me as Bella's hands flew to her face. "Oh." She turned to face him and Alice, who was standing closest to Edward. "My eyes?"

Edward reached out and stroked her cheek. It was clear he was struggling to keep his rage at me out of his voice when he spoke to her. "It's only temporary, Bella. They're red because of all the human blood remaining in your system. They'll turn to gold after feeding on animals after a couple of months." He glared at me over her shoulder.

"_Months?_" She sounded alarmed, and I kicked myself for upsetting her.

"Bells, I'm sorry-"

Just then, everyone froze at the sound of a distant howling. I would recognize that voice anywhere. Sam. He wanted to talk.

I turned back to Bella. "I should go for now."

Her unhappiness from a moment ago seemed forgotten now. "You'll come back though, to see me, won't you?" I smiled. _Thank you for asking._

"Nothing could keep me away." My eyes drifted over to Edward as I said this. He glared. I smiled.

I looked to Carlisle now. "I suspect at some point they're going to want to have a meeting with you."

Carlisle nodded and replied, "I'm sure you're right. We need to make sure there's no misunderstanding and that the terms of the treaty remain intact. Will you please let them know we are amenable to meet?" I nodded.

I took a step forward and lightly grabbed Bella's hand. I squeezed it reassuringly. "See ya, Bells."

"See ya, Jake. And thank you."

"Sure, sure." I walked backward to the edge of the creek, uncomfortable with the idea of turning my back on so many leeches - _damn, this is going to be hard to adjust to _- vampires. Before long I was on the other side of the stream, and I phased.

I heard a gasp from the other side of the creek and saw Bella's surprise. "That's gonna take some getting used to," she murmured, and I barked out a laugh. _You and me both, Bella, you and me both._

I turned and ran into the dark woods. I wasn't looking forward to the conversation awaiting me.


	9. Chapter 9: Decisions, Reprised

SM Owns...

* * *

JPOV

I ran through the woods, tracking Sam's howl. I had been hanging around the Cullens' house all Sunday evening waiting for my chance to talk to Bella. Once I was sure she was okay...or as okay as she could now be...I knew I had a moment of reckoning coming with the pack and my family.

Instinctively, I knew I was approaching the treaty line between the Quileutes and the Cullens. Sam's choice of this location for _our_ meeting clearly communicated his main question to me: are you with _them_ or with _us_? Which side of the line are you on?

I came to a halt in front of Sam, who had since phased and now stood leaning against a tree, kicking his foot at something unseen on the forest floor. He seemed to be alone. I phased, shrugged on my pants, and assumed an equally casual position.

"Jake." Sam kept his eyes trained on the ground indifferently.

"Sam." I crossed my arms and kept my eyes on him. Finally, he looked up.

"So?"

"So, what?" I was torn between feeling remorseful and annoyed.

"So Bella is now...one of them?"

I nodded tightly. It seemed important to make this point right up front: "And, just so you know, she does not seem to pose a special threat. I don't know how or why, but she could be around me and not attack me. So I think we need to be wary, but she is not out of control."

He listened for a moment thoughtfully, then asked, "We?"

_Oh._ "Uh, yeah, well, the pack, our people, you know."

"Right." The silence hung heavily for a few minutes. "Jake, what are your plans?"

"Uh," I shrugged, then finally smiled ruefully. "I have no fucking clue." Sam's lips twitched up briefly in response. "Um, I don't even know my options."

Sam nodded. "Well, are you staying with them?"

I shook my head fiercely and huffed in frustration. "Of course not. What...happened...that was about Bella. And she _is_ still Bella, and I don't care what anyone says about that. I've talked to her. I've looked into her eyes. I know."

"Okay." He stared into my eyes for a minute, searching. "There can't be two Alphas."

"No." I knew that was true.

"It was always yours, and still is, if you want it." My eyes shot up to his. I knew this was true. My lineage dictated that I was the Alpha of any reconstituted pack. But I hadn't wanted it. I had gladly deferred to Sam who, as second, would stand in if I refused.

"Sam, I-"

"Jake, we've discussed it. Your absence has created a gaping hole in the pack's psyche. You are _supposed_ to be a part of us. Hell, you're supposed to be leading us. So, we discussed it. We will all willingly join your pack."

I was floored. The guys had every reason to hate me for abandoning them, for choosing bloodsuckers-_Dammit!_-over them when the chips were down. My mind was also screaming that Bella wasn't just any damn bloodsucker, but in the heat of _this_ moment, I was feeling both the responsibility and the separation.

He watched the thoughts play out across my face. "On one condition," he added.

"Which is?" I asked.

"You can't do that to the pack again. You can't tear it apart. You can't abandon it. The others, well, let's just say that their agreement on what I'm saying is unanimous, but that doesn't mean they aren't pissed as hell...."

I smirked. "Paul?"

"Yeah. Watch your ass, man." We both smiled. "Give me a minute." He phased. He was talking with the others, who within minutes all threaded through the darkened trees and formed a semi-circle behind Sam, in front of me.

One by one they phased in front of me. Everyone took a moment to dress. I met their gazes. Some looked happy to see me, some were curious, some were pissed-not just Paul.

"You all agree with what Sam's told me?"

Nods and quiet "yeses" rang out from the small group.

I realized I had one condition of my own. "Before I accept, you may want to know my position on one issue in particular." They all watched interestedly. "The treaty remains in force. Bella's addition was not their fault. The leech that was responsible was not a party to the treaty, not one of them. I just want to make sure that what happened is not used as an excuse for opening up some war from which no one would benefit." The ability I would have as Alpha to ensure Bella's ongoing protection was the deciding factor in agreeing to Sam's proposal.

Sam looked surprised, but then his shoulders slackened. I was already talking like an Alpha. Paul looked pissed, but then Paul always looked pissed. I knew he was stewing for a good fight. Sam spoke on behalf of the group. "We can accept that."

I extended my hand to Sam, whose own hand met mine in a strong clasp. "It's good to be back, Sam. Thanks. And sorry."

"It's good to have you back, Jake. You're welcome. And don't do that shit again." He shoved my shoulder and I smirked.

And then I heard a ripping sound to my right that meant someone had phased. But I didn't have enough time to see who it was before I felt thick fur slam into my body and take me to the ground. I was fully phased a second later, roughly shoving Paul's massive form off of me while the others snickered at us in my no longer solitary mind.

EPOV

My family was astounded at the scene that had just unfolded in front of us. Bella-_my_ Bella-the newborn, had just spoken to and _hugged_ Jake, the human, wolf, _whatever_, and had seemed completely unfazed by his blood. Not that werewolf blood was good-their scent made them very unappetizing to us-but still, she shouldn't be able to be quite that...discerning...yet.

She watched Jake move off into the darkened forest as long as she could and then turned to us. She realized everyone was staring at her. "What?"

"Bella," Carlisle began, "do you feel like you need to hunt?"

She huffed. "No." She swallowed. "Yes." She rolled her eyes. "It didn't occur to me until you _asked_."

Carlisle smiled. "I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just that the control you seem to have over your bloodlust, which you just demonstrated with your proximity to Jacob, is quite...advanced."

"Oh." She swallowed thickly again. "I'm...I think I'm all right, for now."

He nodded. "Shall we all go in, then? We have some things to discuss." Everyone began filtering into the house. I walked in after Bella. My hand was just itching to touch the small of her back, but I resisted, remembering my family's advice to go slow, be patient.

In the full light of the living room, Bella took notice of her clothing, which was not only mud-covered as mine had been, but which also had a splattering of blood across the cashmere sweater from her first hunt. She gasped as she looked down at herself.

Alice came to the same realization and took Bella's hand. "Just give us a minute," she called over her shoulder as she took Bella upstairs. Alice was chattering non-stop about all the shopping they would have to do to build Bella a wardrobe. Bella responded in a non-committal way a few times before they reappeared downstairs in another one of Esme's outfits-this time a pair of olive cargo pants and a navy blue v-neck shirt. She looked very...Bella. I smiled at Alice, who smiled at me in return.

All the seats were taken when the girls returned downstairs. Alice made a space for herself on Jasper's lap in one armchair, and I rose to offer my chair to Bella. She waved me off, and at first my heart dropped at the gesture. But then she lowered herself to the floor to sit and leaned her back against the left leg of my armchair. Her shoulder touched my left knee. _She is touching me willingly!_ I felt giddy at the small gesture, trying against hope not to read too much into it. My family's thoughts weren't helping with that-all of them had noticed Bella's position and were offering unspoken commentary as to its meaning.

"All right, everyone," Carlisle began, "we have a number of decisions to make." His eyes finally settled on Bella's. "And, Bella, the first ones are yours to make." She looked startled at that; once again all of the attention was on her.

"Okay." It was almost a question.

"First, Bella, let me say this: The greatest pleasure in my long existence has been finding all of the members of this family, seeing the way that we have connected with one another as a family. I truly love each of my children _as children_." She nodded and shifted her position uncomfortably. "Bella, from the moment you came into our lives, you connected with us. You accepted us. You...loved us. And, Bella, we love you too." Her eyes widened at Carlisle's words. He had never spoken so passionately to her before. "So, my question is-and it is totally your decision either way-would you join our family?"

She gasped and stared at him for a moment before darting her eyes to the floor. I leaned forward slightly and very gently squeezed her right shoulder, trying to reassure her that the offer was genuine, and that we would be thrilled if she would accept it.

Finally she found her voice. "Um, Carlisle, that is really wonderful of you to say, but, um, you...really don't have to do that. I don't want to be a...burden...and you all have...no...obligation towards-"

I could hear his thoughts stewing as her words continued. "Bella," he called authoritatively. She stopped mid-sentence. "You misunderstand me. I _want_ you to be a member of my family. We all _want _you." Bella's eyes flitted dubiously to Rosalie, who startled her by offering a small smile and a single nod.

"You...want me?" Several 'yeses' rang out in the room.

She looked down again and began worrying the edge of her pants in her fingers. She stopped abruptly when after two passes she pulled the seam apart. "Thank you, Carlisle," she whispered into her lap before lifting her head back up and looking at him. "I would like that."

Carlisle smiled broadly. Esme beamed. Alice squealed and clapped her hands. I squeezed Bella's shoulder one last time, holding roughly onto the chair with my other hand to restrain myself from scooping her up off the floor and hugging her fiercely. I was so afraid she wouldn't want us after what we had done.

Carlisle knelt before her and extended his palm. She held hers out and into it he dropped a silver necklace with an oval charm attached to it-a locket. She looked at it closely, keeping it in her open palm lest she accidentally exert too much force against the delicate metal. As her eyes moved over the details on the locket's face, Carlisle spoke. "It's the Cullen crest, Bella. Each of us has a piece of jewelry with the crest on it. It marks you as one of us. You don't have to wear it all the time, but it is your...birthright."

She nodded. "Thank you," her voice cracked enough to show that if she had been human, she would have been crying.

"You're welcome," he smiled, then returned to his seat on the couch.

I leaned forward in my chair, admiring her as she admired the necklace on her palm. "Would you like me to help you with that, Bella?"

She looked up and met my eyes. "Please." The sense of relief in her eyes melted me. I pulled the delicate chain up behind her neck as she held her hair out of the way. I stroked her hair a few times, and she relaxed further against me.

"The second decision is also yours, Bella," Carlisle began again, causing her body to tense once more. "We need to decide which surname you wish primarily to go by. Occasionally, some of my children take on different names as situations dictate, but we all have one name with which we most identify."

She looked confused. "Why can't I keep my name?"

"Given the situation, Swan is going to be too conspicuous of a name for some time."

"Oh." She began chewing on her lip. She seemed to be thinking. I wished I could understand her thoughts. There was an obvious choice here, after all. She looked up at Emmett and seemed to be debating. "Okay, um, Emmett?"

He looked surprised. "Yeah, li'l sis?" She couldn't help herself but smile. I always admired that about my brother-he always seemed to get Bella to laugh and smile. She needed that right now.

"Would you...I mean...could I...McCarty?"

_McCarty???_ I was crushed and confused.

"Uh, hell yeah, you can, Bella. I like that. Bella McCarty." His obvious pleasure started grating on me.

"Can I ask you why you chose that name, Bella?" Carlisle was as surprised as me. After all, _Cullen_ was the obvious choice.

"Well," she began, as I noticed Jasper's pointed efforts to reign in my agitation, "if Swan is too conspicuous, then Dwyer-Renee's name-might be also. And, I don't look enough like Rosalie and Jasper to try to be a Hale. And...," she began sputtering, skipping right over the explanation that I wanted, "so I thought if I used something else entirely that maybe I could be, like, a niece or cousin or something who was staying with you. And if Emmett ever uses his surname, at least we have the same color hair to maybe pass as siblings...."

Carlisle nodded. He still had questions as well, though he was quite clearly proud of the degree of thought she was already putting into creating an identity that would work for the family.

I was just about to open my mouth to suggest the obvious when Alice's thoughts screeched into my mind. "_For God's sake, Edward. Think about it._"

I frowned up at Alice, my brow furrowing. She had an exasperated look on her face. I was thinking about it, but not getting it. I wanted her to be Bella Cullen.

"_Bella Cullen, Edward? You can't think of any reason why she might not choose to use that as a 'pretend' name? Please tell me you're not that dense._"

_Bella Cullen. Oh!_ Bella was avoiding Cullen...because...it was my name. And it was the name she would have...if-n_o, dammit! when-_we married.

Instantly, my agitation at her name choice dissipated. In its place was an incredible swelling of hope. There were many ways to read her decision, of course, but I was set on believing she didn't want the name Cullen until I gave it to her.

BPOV

I was pretty sure no living creature had ever had a more emotionally draining day than me. Pretty selfish and self-centered, I know. But my mind hadn't stopped spinning in over eight hours. It was exhausting.

The latest addition to the whirlwind came when Carlisle invited me to join his family. It was everything I had dreamed, and everything I had been mourning for the past six months. And then there was the locket-so beautiful and holding so much symbolism. It was like being awakened from a bad dream.

Then came the question of the name. I knew what I wanted, but I couldn't have it - at least not this way. I wasn't a Cullen, because there was only one way I would ever be a Cullen. And at this moment I had no idea if that would ever come to pass. So I thought-and this was one moment where I literally felt the speed of my new brain. I ran through dozens, maybe hundreds, of possible choices. The obvious choices were right in front of me. I looked at Jasper and Rosalie-I definitely couldn't pass for a relative of theirs in all of their blond glory. I thought about Whitlock, but thought maybe it was too southern, or western, or something, for me. I thought a long while about Masen, but then decided that fell into the same category as Cullen. That left McCarty. It had a certain ring to it. And Emmett's expression was priceless-like a kid on Christmas morning.

Bella McCarty. _Hi, I'm Bella McCarty._ Okay.

I could almost sense the displeasure rolling off Edward. I wanted to turn and look at him, but I found myself too scared of the expression I might find on his face. Then all of a sudden he relaxed, and I couldn't help it. I looked over my right shoulder into his eyes, which were breathtaking in the amount of love, hope, and happiness reflecting out of them. It was disarming.

"Well, hello, Isabella McCarty. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Edward Cullen." His crooked smile made me melt, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hello, Edward. Nice to meet you, too. It's Bella, though, Bella McCarty."

I knew he was going to smirk before he did it. This time, he waited for me to tell him my name was Bella before using it. The memory of my surprise at him knowing to use the shortened version of my name that day in biology remained strong.

He squeezed my shoulder again, and I reached up, grabbed his hand in mine, and just held it. I really needed the connection with him. I needed something to make me feel grounded, something physical to make me know this was all really happening. His smile broadened at the contact.

Carlisle's voice brought me back to the group. "Okay. Now we need to decide as a family what we want to do. My preference would be for all of us to return to the house in Denali. I would like us to be all together for a while now. But it is each person's choice."

Soon, everyone had responded in the affirmative, and all eyes fell on Edward. He seemed to hesitate, and my mind immediately went to the worst possible explanation. He felt me stiffen and leaned forward so that he could speak directly to me. "I would like to go wherever Bella plans to go, that is, if she'll allow me."

I couldn't have been more surprised. They were exactly the words I wanted to hear. But my reaction to his hesitation proved there remained a big breach in trust that still needed a lot of repairing.

Still, I smiled at him. "I would like to go with everyone to Denali," I said softly.

"Then that's where I'm going, too," Edward said, smiling privately at me before sitting back in his chair and addressing Carlisle.

Carlisle and Esme looked as happy as I had ever seen them - happy to have their whole family around them once again.

Carlisle talked us through some arrangements and logistics for another hour or so, and the sun was just beginning to brighten the sky. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me.

"Can I...I mean...is there a way for me...I know he can't _see_ _me_, but can I say good-bye to Charlie?"

"Bella, I'm sorry, but I don't think that would be a good idea," Carlisle replied immediately.

I wasn't letting this go without a fight. "Well, what if some of you went with me and, I don't know, held me or something?"

"You're too strong, Bella," Carlisle began. Emmett's scoffing caught his attention. I noticed too.

"Emmett, do you think...could you keep me from...hurting someone?"

"There's one way to find out...." His whole face lit up.

"Absolutely not," Edward huffed next to me.

"Why not?" I frowned at Edward and pulled my hand away from his.

"Because, Bella," he stumbled for the right words, "you could...I mean..._it's not safe._"

I was instantly enraged, and blurted, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Edward blanched. Emmett snickered. "We're back to this _again_?"

Edward's mouth was opening and closing, trying to find the words to talk me down from my anger. "How about we make a deal right now," I said to Edward as I turned to face him on my knees. "You let me decide what's in my own best interest, and when I want your opinion, I'll ask."

I was too furious to notice the others attempting to mask either shock or amusement at the predicament Edward had gotten himself into.

My thoughts were incessant and battering: _Will he never see me as an equal? I'm not a child, dammit. I don't need to be coddled. I just want to see Charlie one last time. There has to be a way. God, I can't believe I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire! God, I'm thirsty. That blood was so good. Stop it, Bella. Focus. Christ, Edward, aren't you going to say anything?...._

Edward's mouth gaped open. "Bella?" _Finally_. The sound of his voice ratcheted down my anger considerably.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to yell, it's just...I'm not, well, a breakable human anymore. I'm a vampire. I don't need to be coddled like a child." I huffed. "Why are you looking at me like that, Edward?"

"I heard you."

"Good. Then, please, try to remember I can take care of myself now."

"No, Bella, I _heard_ you."

_Heard me?_ _What?_ _Oh!_ "What do you mean?" I noticed Carlisle sit forward, clearly directing a silent observation to Edward.

"What I mean is: Yes, I will-do-see you as an equal. I know you're not a child. I know you don't need to be coddled-and, I'm sorry for that. I will adjust, I promise. I know you want to see Charlie, and if there is a way, I promise we'll find it-together. I can't believe you're a vampire either, and while I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you, I am thrilled that you're not breakable anymore. And I know you're thirsty. We can hunt again soon."

I stared at him for a long moment. I was thinking it was an odd monologue. Until I ran it back through my head again and realized he had just responded to every one of the thoughts I had just had _in my mind_.

My hands flew to my mouth. "No." I sprang to my feet.

"Yes." Edward rose as well and stood before me.

"Edward," Carlisle interrupted, "you heard her thoughts?" Edward nodded. "Can you still hear them?"

"No," Edward said as he shook his head. "Not anymore."

On top of everything else, the idea that Edward would now hear my thoughts was overwhelming. Edward saw my distress. "Don't worry about it, Bella. We'll figure it out." He reached out to embrace me. I fell into his arms willingly.

"Guys," Jasper interrupted, "I think I have an idea."

We all turned to look at Jasper, sitting on the couch next to Carlisle with his arms wrapped around Alice's small frame and his eyes on me. "Bella, correct me if I'm wrong, but you were experiencing an intense level of rage about Edward's comment when Edward was able to hear your thoughts. Is that right?"

I thought about it, replaying the conversation in my head a few times. Jasper was right. I nodded.

"I could feel it." Jasper looked from me to Carlisle.

"But I thought you couldn't feel my emotions now?" I was getting confused.

"I couldn't. Until that moment. Carlisle," Jasper asked, "do you think it's possible she can expand her shield out beyond herself?"

"Extraordinary," Carlisle responded after a moment. "It seems not only possible, but plausible."

"What?" I asked.

"Bella," Carlisle began, "if Jasper is correct, the shield you have that blocks Edward's telepathy and Jasper's empathy can be projected. And when it is, you seem to allow Edward and Jasper back into your head. Picture it as a bubble that can expand and contract. Don't worry about it for now. I'm sure as the days pass we'll learn more and more about your gifts."

I nodded. And worried.

Emmett's voice finally distracted me. "So, sis," he said gently, "do you still want to see if I can hold you?" I was thankful for the new topic and I nodded, breaking away gently from Edward's arms.

Everyone went outside and stood around awkwardly.

"So, what do I....?"

Emmett walked over to me. "Okay. I'm going to hold you as tightly as I can, and you try as hard as you can to break out of my grip. Don't hold back," he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes when Edward's face fell into a semi-scowl as Emmett wrapped his arms around me. "Ready?" I asked. I felt him nod. The next thing I knew, Emmett was sitting on his butt on the ground and I was standing ten feet in front of him. "Holy crow!" I couldn't believe I had so easily flung Emmett off. "How is that possible?"

"Because you're a newborn, Bella," Jasper spoke. "During the first year of your life your speed and strength are magnified due to the volume of human blood in your system."

I turned to Edward, my panic rising. _This needs to work._ "Will you try too?"

His face softened and he nodded, then he and Emmett walked over to me. Emmett stood against my right side and wrapped his arms around me, and Edward stood at my left side and wrapped his arms tight around my waist. "Okay, love? Go ahead."

I thought briefly about holding back. If I could escape them both, there was no way they would let me see Charlie. But then I thought of Charlie. If I really can't be restrained and I go after him, it would be the end of me. So I threw all my strength into it.

I heard Emmett grunting with effort next to me. And while they didn't have an easy time of it, they ultimately held me. "Okay, okay," I panted. I smiled at Edward. "You did it."

"Bella, I'm still not sure this is a good idea," Jasper interjected. "This experiment is not fully formed without the temptation of human blood. When your bloodlust is fully engaged, your strength will multiply further."

My shoulders drooped immediately.

"Alice?" I called. "Can you see? Can you tell if I would...."

Alice looked dejected. "I'm sorry, Bella. I can't see. I can't know what you would do because you don't know what you would do."

That settled it. There could be no in-person good-bye with my father. I couldn't-_wouldn't_-put his life in danger. Maybe in a year, or five years.... Still in Emmett's and Edward's arms, I sunk to my knees on the ground and nodded sadly.

Emmett brushed a kiss on my head. "Sorry kiddo," he whispered before stepping away.

Edward sunk down with me and held me close. "I'm sorry, Bella. Don't be sad. Charlie is young," he encouraged, "in a year, or a couple years, you'll be stronger. Maybe we could come back then...."

I couldn't have loved Edward more in that moment. I knew he wasn't reading my thoughts just then, but he knew me well enough anyway to know exactly what I was thinking.

All at once, we smelled Jake. The next moment he stepped out of the trees. He approached slowly, and Edward helped me to my feet. Carlisle came closer as well.

You doin' okay, Bella?"

I nodded. Okay enough. "What's up, Jake?" I asked in a wooden voice.

"Uh, I came to talk to Carlisle."

"Hello Jacob. What can I do for you?"

In a matter of minutes, Jake relayed to Carlisle and the others what had happened during his conversation with Sam. I was floored to learn that, not only was Jake a werewolf, but he was the leader of the pack. Everyone's relief was obvious at the confirmation that the treaty remained in force and that the pack did not hold the Cullens responsible for my change. When Carlisle informed Jake that the pack's mind might be put further at ease with the knowledge that we would be leaving shortly to relocate to Alaska, Jake's face fell.

He looked at me. "You're leaving?"

I nodded. "It's not safe...that is, I don't want to hurt anyone here, Jake."

He nodded. "I guess...I guess that makes sense. I just...it just didn't occur to me that you would leave."

"I know, Jake. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Bella. I understand. And, besides, you'll always know where to find me if you need me. Right?"

I smiled. "Right. Of course. And you'll watch out for Charlie for me?"

"It's already being done, Bella. Don't even think of it."

I hugged Jake quickly, noting a greater sense of burning in my throat than the previous night. I stepped back quickly. "Sorry, Jake," I muttered. He understood and took a few steps back.

"Don't worry about it. I have to go anyway. I need to go meet with the Elders. See ya' around?"

"Yeah, Jake. See ya' around." I noticed him glance up at the sky, attempting to restrain the moisture that had started to collect there from spilling onto his cheeks. The sight of Jake's almost-tears was more than I could bear on top of everything else. When Jake was gone, I turned to Alice and Edward, who stood closest to me.

"I need to smash some trees now."

They didn't have to ask. They both nodded, and the three of us took off into the forest, the opposite direction from where Jake had just gone.

***

A dozen trees, two elk, and three deer later, I sat on the ground, spent. Alice had returned to the house hours before. The sun was just starting to set.

Edward and I had been sitting in silence next to one another for at least an hour.

I started speaking to the trees. I said all the good-byes that I couldn't say in person. I don't know how long I spoke. But I said everything I would have said to Charlie if I could have. I said the good-bye to Jacob that I would liked to have, only I didn't _want_ to make him cry so I hadn't said to his face. I said a good-bye to the small, mysteriously magical town of Forks. I even said good-bye to the big white Cullen house.

When I was done, I finally looked over at Edward, whose face was gloriously beautiful in the love, compassion, and sorrow I saw there.

I was suddenly overcome by everything. By him.

I threw myself at him, knocking him back against the ground and falling with my full weight upon his chest. He was shocked momentarily but then began kissing me back. We were both moaning and panting into the kiss, which was deep and urgent and rough and rapturous. My hands were instantly tangled in his incredible hair and my hips pushed into his of their own accord. His hands were everywhere against me, roaming through my hair, up and down my back, and over the curves of my hips and bottom. When I would pull back slightly, he would lift his head up to maintain the connection of the kiss. When he would push me back and try to question what we were doing, I would devour his mouth even more hungrily.

I needed him. I wanted him. And I told him so.

* * *

Please review!


	10. Chapter 10: Beginnings

_Just a reminder that this is an M-rated story and not appropriate for younger readers_.

SM owns.

* * *

_BPOV_

_I was suddenly overcome by everything. By him._

_I threw myself at him, knocking him back against the ground and falling with my full weight upon his chest. He was shocked momentarily but then began kissing me back. We were both moaning and panting into the kiss, which was deep and urgent and rough and rapturous. My hands were instantly tangled in his incredible hair and my hips pushed into his of their own accord. His hands were everywhere against me, roaming through my hair, up and down my back, and over the curves of my hips and bottom. When I would pull back slightly, he would raise his head up to maintain the connection of the kiss. When he would push me back and try to question what we were doing, I would devour his mouth even more hungrily._

_I needed him. I wanted him. And I told him so._

EPOV

"Edward, Edward, please," Bella murmured around the edge of our kiss.

"Bella," I whispered back. My every sense was filled with her. The silkiness of her hair, the softness of her skin, the familiarity of her scent, the feel of her sensual curves pressed against my body. I was at war with myself. Body versus brain versus heart. My body argued for giving in completely to sensation. My brain screamed that this wasn't right. My heart moaned that it was right, just _not like this_.

My body was currently winning. And Bella seemed to be on my body's side, which wasn't helping my brain or my heart.

"Edward, I need to feel. Please? Just, please, I need you."

My reply was strangled by the sharpness of her teeth nipping lightly down the length of my neck. Pain and pleasure. It was a gloriously maddening sensation.

"Bella, I love you," I managed finally.

"I love you, too...Edward," she panted between kisses. "Show me. Show me, Edward. Please."

_Oh God. She is begging me._ My brain screamed louder.

I rolled us over, a thick matting of leaves on the forest floor serving as a blanket, and I enveloped her body with my own. My legs were on the outside of hers and my elbows rested on either side of her head. My fingers were wound deep in her dark tresses. My position allowed me maximum access to every part of her body. She moaned as she took in my position above her, and immediately her hands moved to the hem of my shirt. She lifted it up to my head so quickly that I had little choice but to lift my arms and allow her to remove it completely. The feeling of her hands smoothing across my chest and stomach and back was exquisite.

I sat back onto my heels, straddling her thighs. She frowned momentarily at my retreat until I reached out and pulled her up into a sitting position. With my hands on either side of her face I bent down and pressed my lips to hers, whispering, "I love you so much, Bella, forever," before engaging us once again in a mind-altering kiss that seemed to last forever and not long enough. She was moaning and pleading and whimpering and just _loving me_.

I lowered my hands from her face and slowly slid them down the front of her body, just ghosting over her breasts and stomach, until I reached the hem of the lovely blue shirt she was wearing. I pulled back and met her eyes, which had darkened considerably -- a fascinating dark red. She nodded, and I lifted the shirt up and over her head, revealing a complete vision of beauty. Her dark hair fell in soft waves down to her bare breasts. I sat mesmerized for a moment, my brain momentarily _sure_ I was in the grip of a punishing fantasy, and that I really still lay in the dust and filth in that dark tenement attic. I began to panic at the very thought, until I felt Bella's smooth hands grasp my cheeks and pull my face to hers.

I found myself so thankful that this was _real_ that I quickly lowered us back into a prone position and allowed my body to press down fully on top of hers. The feeling of her bare chest against mine was simply exquisite. And I had to feel all of her -- suddenly, I understood her plea, her need to _just feel_.

I settled my legs inside of hers and she cradled my body as I ravished her neck and collarbones with nips and open-mouthed kisses. She moaned and pressed her hips into mine, causing me to groan in response. I slid my hands under her shoulders as I moved my body lower, allowing my mouth to roam across her chest. I lingered with open-mouthed kisses over her heart, and was so caught up in the realization that I would never hear the soft rhythmic sound of her _life_ again, that I had to pause. I rested my forehead against her chest and squeezed my eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to stifle the intense sob that threatened to work its way out of me.

She seemed to understand intuitively what was happening, because she raised her knees and squeezed my lower body, wrapping her arms around my head and hugging me to her breast. "Sshh, Edward, it's alright," she cooed, "It's alright, baby. Now we can begin again."

Her words -- so filled with comfort and hope -- were exactly what I needed to hear. I lifted my head so that I could look in her eyes. She looked entirely at peace. "We can?"

"Yes, Edward. At least, we can try."

How ironic it was, how like Bella, that she was the one who had lost everything in the past two days and yet _she_ was comforting _me_.

I threw myself back into worshipping her with renewed vigor, my lips traversing hers, across her throat, and trailing down her chest. I slid myself lower and softly grasped her breasts in my hands. I kept my eyes on hers as I lowered my face and pressed open-mouthed kisses all across her left breast before drawing her taut nipple into my mouth. She moaned and threw her head back.

The scent of her hardly compared to the _taste _of her. _My God_. Having discovered the pure pleasure of her taste I couldn't get enough. I lavished attention on both breasts with my tongue, partaking freely of her nipples which I alternately sucked, licked, and tugged. She had completely given herself over to sensation as well. She moaned and whimpered and shifted between gripping my hair to hold me to her more tightly and running her hands in tantalizing patterns across my back. There are simply no words for how good being with her this way felt.

I gave myself over so fully to sensation that my instincts consumed me, and I bit down gently on Bella's breast over her silent heart.

She hissed but grabbed my hair and held my head close to her body.

_Oh, God. Don't stop don't stop don't stop. God Edward, please, please, please._

I didn't think anything of her words at first, so enraptured was I with her body. When I teased her nipple with my teeth I heard her again.

_Ungh, Edward. God, that's so good. Please, Edward, please stay. Stay. Stay._

Christ. She wasn't saying that. _She was thinking it._

I had to pull away. It wasn't fair to her. My ability to hear her thoughts felt manipulative. And, what she was thinking - the sense of desperation – affected me deeply.

I lifted my head away from her breast, and she groaned in protest. "Bella?"

"Edward?" _Oh God. Don't stop. Don't leave._

"Bella," I debated with myself for a moment. I didn't want to make her feel any more vulnerable than she clearly already felt. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

_I want to believe that so bad. I don't know if I could handle it again_.

"You can believe me, Bella. I swear on my life."

That's when it hit her. She gasped. _He can hear me?_

I nodded.

She sat up, pushing me back on my heels in the process. I now knelt between her legs. Her thoughts were momentarily quiet.

"Bella, I...."

_Please, please want me. God. I gotta control my thoughts. Oh God, I'm naked._ She crossed her arms over her breasts.

"Bella, listen to me." But her eyes had sunk down to the ground.

I cupped her chin gently with my right hand and raised her face to look at me. We were both still breathing heavily. "Please, Bella? Please listen."

She nodded. Similar thoughts were still racing through her mind. It was such an unusual feeling to _hear_ her that it was very distracting. Hearing her had always been one of my greatest desires. But now that I could, and it made her so uncomfortable, I wanted nothing more than to put her at ease, even if that meant I could never hear her beautiful mind again.

"Bella, I know I have no right to ask this of you. But please believe me, you have to know, Bella, that I love you. I want you. I plan to stay with you, Bella, forever. Or for however long you'll have me. I simply cannot exist without you by my side."

_Is that true? I want that to be true. How can it be, though? He's so beautiful and talented and magical and I'm...just...not._

"Bella, stop that. And please talk to me. I don't like responding to your thoughts. I feel like I'm violating your privacy. I don't want you to feel like I'm manipulating you."

"Okay," she managed, finally.

"Bella, you were right. All those things you said yesterday and earlier in the living room. You were right. I have a lot of growing up to do, and I will learn from my mistakes. And I know I have to treat you as a more capable, more self-sufficient being, and I will. But, Bella, there are also some things _you_ have to do."

Her thoughts seemed torn between indignation of my telling her what to do and fear that I was angry with her.

I pushed on. "You have to take me down from the pedestal you put me on. I am not perfect. I am not a god. You, more than any living creature, know my flaws and imperfections. You have to see yourself as my equal, and stop putting yourself down. My whole family has adored you since day one -- we wouldn't have done that if you were unintelligent or ordinary or uninteresting."

"Well, not everyone." I heard Rosalie's name in her mind.

"Yes, _everyone_, even Rosalie. Why do you think she was so cold to you? She was jealous of you, Bella." Her eyebrows flew up. "She was jealous of my attention to you, of everyone's affection for you, of your life and youth and beauty."

She paused for a long moment. I worked hard to block her thoughts out. "Okay, Edward. I hear you. And what you're saying is fair, even if it's hard to believe. It's just...."

"What, love. Please tell me. You can say anything to me."

She looked up at me with an unsure smile. "It's just going to be hard for a while; I'm so afraid I'll turn around and you'll be gone."

I could tell by her thoughts how hard that was for her to admit. She needed to say it, but feared making me feel guilty.

"It's understandable that you feel that way, Bella. I abandoned you once. What would keep me from doing it again, right? But, I have an answer to that question. _Everything_. Everything would keep me from doing it again -- the pain I felt the first time, the way I know it hurt you, how _sure_ I am that we belong together, always, the fact that my family would kill me...."

She smiled at that one. "Jacob, too."

"Yes, I suspect so." I smiled back.

We sat awkwardly for a moment, still facing each other, close, without our shirts on. Our breathing had returned to normal. Slowly, she lowered her hands and placed one each on each of my thighs. "I want this with you, Edward. I want to be with you." _So much, please_.

I took a deep breath. "I want to be with you too, Bella."

_But...._ I heard her think.

She still doubted. _How to prove to her?_

Gently I reached down and took her left hand in my right one. Slowly I slid her hand up to my groin, and placed her fingers on top of my erection which was still straining against my jeans.

She gasped and looked up at my eyes.

"You weren't believing me. I just needed you to know, Bella, I _do_ want you. So much I can hardly stand it."

She bit her bottom lip and then I felt her fingers start to rub slowly, but firmly, against me. I growled low and my eyes rolled up into my head. She pulled herself up onto her knees in front of me and, without removing her hand from rubbing against me, wrapped her other arm around my neck and kissed me warmly. "Show me, Edward. Show me that you're here. That we're together."

I could still hear her thoughts. But this time they were devoid of the desperation that I had heard earlier. Before I was afraid she -- we? -- were doing this for the wrong reasons. But now, her thoughts were more serene, more about how this was simply a physical expression of our love.

"Yes, Bella," I whispered. And though some internal debate remained within me, now my brain and heart were on board with my body.

I held her body against mine and ran my hands down her smooth back to her small waist. I grabbed her bottom and pressed her into me, trapping her small hand between us as she continued to stroke me through my pants. We groaned at the pressure the embrace caused, and I felt her other hand snake down my front and deftly undo the front of my jeans.

When her bare hands wrapped around my hard length for the first time, I growled and threw my head back. The feeling of her doing this to me was breathtaking. "Bella, love, ungh, _oh God_."

"Edward. Oh, I just want us to feel, Edward. To feel _good_."

"Oh, yeah, baby. So good." I reached around to the front of her pants and undid them. I pushed them slightly down off of her hips and between my own accelerated breaths, noticed the blue lace panties she wore. "Christ, Bella, you're so beautiful."

I had to touch her, feel her. I pushed the panties down as far as I could in her current position and gently palmed her mound in my hand. She whimpered and pressed into me. She was so soft and warm and wet there. I needed to feel more.

"God, Bella, your body. It's so perfect," I moaned as I traced my fingers softly through her folds, exploring her this way for the first time.

She moaned my name, and I was thrilled to hear her mind chant over and over, _So good, Edward, so good. Love you so much, Edward._

Wanting more access, I pulled away from her, groaning at the loss of contact. I pulled us both to our feet. Quickly I kicked off my pants and shoes and then, double checking for her approval first, I stepped to her and lowered her garments the rest of the way to the ground.

She stood before me a vision - a goddess of the wood. _How is it possible I could be so lucky as to have her and to have this with her?_

We flew at one another and embraced hard, finding each other's lips in a rapturous kiss. I pulled at her hair to tug her head back so I could trace her neck and collar bones. She moaned and soon moved her hand back down to capture my erection, pressed firmly against her stomach. I groaned and released her hair. Moving my hands down to her bottom I lifted her. She released my erection and wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

We kissed like it was essential to our very survival. And, in her new position, my erection was pressed firmly against her soft wet folds. She felt it too, and quickly used the leverage of her arms on my shoulders to grind herself into me. The grunts and whimpers she constantly made reverberated directly to my cock, making me noticeably harder with each sensual sound.

"Bella, God, Bella."

"Oh, Edward. Ungh. You feel so good." She nibbled on my neck as she ground herself against me.

"Yes, Bella, so good. Bella. Unngh. Want you so bad." Occasionally her movements would cause my tip to catch on her entrance, and I groaned in ecstasy each time.

"Take me, Edward. I want you to." She punctuated her words with a forceful thrust of her hips.

I allowed myself the luxury of her thoughts, and she was being honest. There was nothing else there. No doubt. No desperation. No hesitation. Just want. And need. And love.

But, I still had to be sure. "Bella, are you...are you sure? Here? Like this? So...soon?" There was more I wanted to say, but it was as coherent as I could manage under the circumstances.

"God, yes, Edward. Here. Now. It's...perfect...we're here...we're alone...I love you, and...you...love me."

"God, I love you," I ground out.

"Then, show me, baby. Show me." She pulled her head back, and I looked in her now red-black eyes. The love and trust and longing I saw there did me in.

I tilted my hips and she pulled away slightly. Both of our actions positioned my head at her entrance. We held one another's gaze as I slowly pushed in. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open.

We both felt it as I encountered her barrier. I had no idea if the mechanics would be any different now that she was a vampire, or what it would mean for her. She ended my internal debate by gripping my neck tighter and pushing herself down. She choked out a hiss as I filled her completely and she was panting hard as she worked through the pain.

I just held her, waiting, feeling her, whispering words of comfort and love. She took the lead again when she started to move against me and _God damn_ it was so phenomenally good.

I held her tightly against me, one arm wrapped around her bottom and one wrapped around and gripping her shoulders. We moved slowly together, moaning into one another's mouths as a soft breeze caressed our bodies.

I whispered my love for her over and over and, in between kisses and pants and moans, I whispered promises I knew I would keep. "I promise to love you forever, Bella....I promise to fill your life with smiles and laughter....I promise to cherish you always....I promise to experience the world with you....I promise we can get through anything together...." I wanted her to know that I understood the gift she was giving me. I wanted her to know I had much to give in return.

Soon it became too hard to speak, the need to just feel her slick tight walls around me took all of my concentration. And her sounds. _Oh, her sounds_. She was making a high-pitched mewling noise in my ear as she ground herself against me. Our position allowed the base of my cock and my pubic bone to repeatedly hit her clit. "Please, please, Edward. God, I need you so much. Harder, Edward, faster."

I glanced around us and moved us towards a tall outcropping of gray rock. I leaned my upper back against the smooth surface which allowed me the leverage to more easily fulfill Bella's demands. Still holding her close to my body I placed both of my hands under her bottom to guide her movements on me. Harder. Faster. Each thrust caused her to moan my name -- a more exquisite sound I had never heard.

"God Bella, you are so good. I love you so much."

"Edward, ungh. I'm...I'm so...."

I thrust harder, making sure my body hit hers in just the right way.

"Close, Edward. So close."

"Good, baby. That's right. Let it go, Bella. Just _feel_." I punctuated that last word with a hard thrust, swiveling my hips as I impacted her body to grind myself against her clit.

She screamed my name and threw her head back. Her nails dug into the backs of my shoulders and I loved every sensation of it. But none more so than the feeling of her walls clenching around me, offering me proof that I could give her what she needed, I could make her feel good.

I ground myself against her until her orgasm played out. She was panting and trembling against me.

Her legs were now shaking non-stop, and I could tell she was struggling to maintain her position. "It's okay, baby. Put your legs down," I whispered. She looked at me imploringly. "Put your legs down, Bella. And turn around."

Her eyes seemed to darken further.

She gracefully slid off of me and placed her feet on the ground. I slid my body into somewhat of a sitting position on a low sloped part of the rock face and together we lowered Bella onto my waiting cock.

We both groaned at the sensation, this position allowing me to go much deeper than I had before. She threw her head back against my shoulder and I captured her head with my left hand, turning her face to mine so that I could kiss her while I moved under her. I wrapped my other arm low around her stomach and pressed her to me. Our legs worked together to raise and lower Bella's body. The feeling was unbearably exquisite.

"God, Bella, that's so good. You feel so good. So warm. And wet. So tight."

"Edward, I love the feeling of you filling me like this. I feel whole," she moaned around our kiss.

"Yes, Bella. Whole. We...ungh...belong together."

"Mmm," she whimpered.

This position was so good, too good. I wasn't going too last long. Keeping her face to mine as I devoured her with my lips and tongue, I moved my other hand down her stomach to her clit. Her wetness felt luxurious, and I had to taste. I coated my fingers with her and lifted them to my mouth. I pulled back from her kiss momentarily to suck my fingers clean of her and she moaned "Oh, God, Edward."

"God, Bella, I love...everything about...you. You taste...so good."

I returned my fingers to her clit. The sight of my sucking her juices off my fingers and the taste of herself in my mouth had considerably heightened her arousal and she was once again moaning non-stop. I was so very close but so wanted to see if I could get her there again. _Anything_ for her.

I pulled her face away from mine and tilted her head slightly to the side against my shoulder. I pressed down hard with my fingers in a circular motion against her clit as I bit down hard on her neck. She growled and then moaned. "Oh Edward, oh Edward, I'm...." and then it hit. I felt her clenching around me. I kept my fingers moving as long as I could, but then I needed both of my hands.

I gripped her hips and began lifting her up and down on me. Feeling her come around me had done me in. I gave myself fully over to the chase. One. Two. Three thrusts. And I exploded within her. "Belllaa!" I grunted and roared her name.

I held her against me, cradling her in my arms, until we could otherwise move. I heard her chanting _Thank you_ and _I love you_ over and over in her mind and I pressed soft kisses against her shoulder.

I gently eased her up off of me and turned her around, and then I cradled her against the crook of my neck and stroked her hair. "I love you, Bella," I said, almost as a prayer, "and that was incredible, the most wonderful gift I have ever been given. You have honored me beyond words."

She pressed tiny kisses against my chest. It was all the response I needed.

I don't know how long we stood there embracing. I just know it wasn't long enough. But it was getting dark now, and no doubt my -- our -- family was wondering where we were. "Shall we head back, love?"

"Yes. Before they send out a search party and find us...like this." The look on her face told me she would be blushing if she still could. I chuckled. She smiled.

I grabbed her hand and led us back over to our pile of clothing. I found her panties and pants and kneeled down, then helped her slip them up her legs. She giggled at my gesture but I simply wanted to do everything for her. I fastened her pants and then handed her shirt up to her, remaining on my knees as I slipped her shoes back on for her. I grabbed my shirt next and slid it over my head before standing and sliding into my jeans. I pulled my sock and shoes on and took her hand.

We walked at a slow pace, not entirely ready for reality to intrude into the little bubble we had created. Soon we approached the house, and I realized I could no longer hear Bella's thoughts. I smiled down at her and pressed a kiss to her cheek when she looked up at me questioningly.

We entered the house to find the family deep in discussion.

"There you are. We were getting worried," Carlisle called over his shoulder.

His thoughts were alarming.

"What is it? What's happened?" I pulled Bella so that we stood next to where Carlisle sat on the couch.

"Emmett and Jasper were out hunting earlier and came upon a scent. The pack was on it too. But it led right up along the treaty line, and neither side was willing to cross the line and so neither could fully follow it."

_Edward, it was Victoria_, Carlisle thought.

I was immediately enraged, and Bella looked frightened and confused by my reaction.

"What?" she asked. "What was it?"

"Not what, Bella," Carlisle responded. "Who. It was Victoria."

Bella gasped.

I pulled her into a tight embrace and she let me. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll take care of this. You are my life. We will never let anything hurt you ever again." There were nods all around.

"We'll take care of this together," she murmured, and I pulled back from the hug. Her face was a dark storm of emotions.

"Bella-"

"Edward, don't get overprotective on me now. I realize I don't...know how...to fight. But I _am_ the strongest one here."

"You're right, Bella. And we need to teach you how to fight," Jasper began, and continued despite my glare, "but until you know how you would be at a huge disadvantage against someone as experienced as Victoria."

Everyone nodded to my great relief and Bella's obvious frustration.

"Fine. What then?" she huffed.

"She's gone again, for now," Carlisle began.

Bella was quite astute, however, as always. "Again?"

"Yes, Bella," Carlisle answered. "When Emmett and Rosalie went out to scout the attacks you mentioned, they were quickly able to deduce it was another vampire responsible for the so-called bear attacks."

"Victoria?"

Emmett and Rosalie both nodded.

"What's the game plan, then?" Bella growled.

Carlisle nodded. "You, Edward, Alice and Jasper will leave for Alaska by car tonight. You can't fly -- it wouldn't be safe, so the trip is going to take a while. The rest of us will follow by air tomorrow. That'll give us time to get this house closed up and make some other arrangements."

"Drive? How long will that take?" Bella asked.

"Allowing time to hunt and provided we don't hit any sun that we have to avoid, it will probably take us thirty-six to forty hours, give or take," Jasper responded.

"I don't see any sun," Alice added, "we should be able to drive straight through."

Bella looked at Jasper. "You'll teach me to fight in Alaska." It wasn't a question.

Jasper looked between Bella and I, then nodded. "You need to know." I was furious, but not at Jasper or Bella. Jasper was right. Newborns were notorious for their strength but also for their fighting naiveté. I was furious at a situation that left us -- her -- no peace. I was furious at Victoria. I had searched for her without success for months. I _would_ bring an end to her once and for all.

"Good," Bella growled.

Alice came to us and took Bella's free hand. She whispered, just for Bella to hear, "Why don't we take you upstairs and get you cleaned up before we leave?"

Bella furtively looked down at her own clothes, and I'm sure imagined what we both looked like given our activities in the woods. She nodded to Alice, turned to offer me a brief kiss, and then the two of them went upstairs.

My family's thoughts were immediate, but Carlisle's was the most subtle: _So, things are...well?_

"Yes, Carlisle, things are well." I met his eyes which were kind and full of happiness for me. "And I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing interferes with Bella's happiness ever again."

* * *

Please review!


	11. Chapter 11: Alaska

EPOV

Bella was being too quiet. While we packed up our things at the Forks house. During the long drive to Denali. And ever since we had arrived here ten days ago. She didn't seem angry, and not exactly worried. She was a little sad, but that wasn't exactly it either.

And therein lay the problem. She was just being too quiet. And I couldn't figure out why.

I'm sure part of it was leaving Forks, which meant leaving behind her whole life. Aside from Jacob Black and the rest of the pack, the whole town believed that quiet Forks High School student Isabella Swan had been killed in a tragic bear attack at the too-young age of eighteen. Most heartbreakingly, Bella knew her father had to endure the pain of her funeral. This was clearly enough to bring about Bella's quietude.

Part of it was also the threat that Victoria posed. It seemed that a showdown with her was more a matter of when than if. There was no reason for her to believe the story about Bella's death, since she herself was the source of the bear attack rumors. And Bella's recollections about her conversation with Laurent revealed that Victoria was unaware that we had left Forks for a time. Certainly Victoria would ultimately figure out that Bella was with us. It was just a matter of how long it would take her to track us to Alaska.

Bella also seemed to withdraw into herself a bit when her bloodlust finally broke through her otherwise controlled demeanor during the car ride to Denali. We had stopped in southern Alaska to allow Bella to hunt, and I hadn't been careful enough in scouting the area beforehand. Following the scent of some moose, Bella had picked up the scent of humans ice fishing almost a mile away. Instinctually, she dropped the animal scent for the more enticing human scent and was within a hundred yards of the pond when Jasper and I tackled her to the ground. We were immediately impressed at how quickly she was able to snap out of her bloodlust upon realizing what had happened. She didn't struggle in the least as we both kept a grip on her as we fled the area. Bella, of course, was mortified at her actions, and focused on the fact that she had lost control in the first place. No matter how much we all tried, we couldn't get her to see that she was doing so much better at adhering to our vegetarian diet than she should be able to at this point.

I also feared that part of her silence might stem from her regret. The only awkward moment between us had been when we had first arrived at the Denali house and Alice had shown Bella to her own room. A momentary flash of...something...flitted across Bella's face before she graciously accepted. Beyond that, everything seemed normal. Normal except that we had not spoken once about what happened between us in the woods the day before we left Forks. Nor had it happened again. If I really allowed my mind to go to its darkest places, I could get angry at myself for taking her like that. I worried that I had preyed on her vulnerability and her fear of abandonment. I fretted over my obvious lack of gentlemanliness in that moment. I wished that we had been married first. But that was only when I allowed myself to wallow.

Most of the time, however, I didn't allow myself to wallow. Because Bella was here. And we were together. And the horror of our separation was over. And I just couldn't bring myself to regret the fundamental sense of completion being with Bella that way made me feel. Regretting making love to Bella would have been like regretting that my head was attached to my body. I had never felt more whole, more alive, more loved, more full of _humanity_, than I did when we were together.

But I was worried that maybe she regretted it. I just couldn't figure out how to bring it up.

Bella had a lot on her mind. I completely got it. But not knowing exactly what it was was killing me. I just wanted her to be happy, but I didn't know what she needed or how I could help.

Jasper's anxiety wasn't helping me feel any better about it either. I thought Bella was quiet. Jasper feared Bella was a ticking time bomb. He just could not fathom how a newborn of less than three weeks' age could have the kind of control and discipline - emotional and otherwise - that Bella seemed to possess. He was driving Bella a little crazy always hovering around her; he tried to seem casual about it, but failed spectacularly. He was also driving Alice crazy about it, constantly pestering her about what Bella was going to do next. But Bella either wasn't making any decisions or was constantly changing them, because Alice just couldn't get a good read. Even Bella's mind was too quiet, apparently.

Things changed on a Tuesday.

Jasper, Emmett, and I had taken Bella hunting and had been gone for the better part of two days. Emmett had been dying to get his metaphorical fangs into a polar bear - he was showing off for Bella, whose rare smile seemed to indicate she loved every minute of it - and that meant we had to go further afield from the house than we might have otherwise.

Freshly sated with blood, Bella wanted to spend some time when we returned home getting her first fighting lesson. I hated the idea. But this seemed a perfect opportunity for me to either demonstrate that I would continue to think of her as someone that needed to be taken care of, or as someone who was capable of taking care of herself. Against nearly every instinct, I chose the latter and agreed that we would begin her lessons. Both of my brothers cheered me silently. This learning and growing thing wasn't very easy sometimes. But I was trying. I hoped Bella could tell.

The problem began when we returned home. Jasper was talking to Bella about strategy when I heard _her_ mind from somewhere inside our house - Tanya was here. Waiting. For me.

Jasper and Bella looked at me with confusion as I made a lame excuse and said I'd be right back. I hadn't seen Tanya since I had fled to Denali right after I had encountered Bella for the first time. She had made her emotions and desires clear to me then, again, as she always did. And, as I always did, I had politely rebuffed her advances. Tanya wasn't a bad person, really, just very persistent and incredibly self assured. She wasn't used to being refused, and was absolutely convinced that one day I would come to my senses. I could already hear in the tenor of her thoughts that she was livid that I had been in Denali for ten days without letting her know of my return. She had been as worried about me as my family during my months-long self-imposed exile.

I wanted to make sure she was going to behave herself now that Bella was a member of my family.

It didn't take me long to track her to my bedroom.

It took me no time at all to realize she wasn't going to behave herself.

She had convinced herself that my return to Denali could only mean one thing: I had come to my senses.

I found her sitting in a trench coat cinched around her narrow waist on the couch in my room.

"I knew you'd come home to me, Edward," she cooed as I walked in the door.

"Tanya-"

"I can't tell you how happy it makes me for you to be here. For us to finally have a chance." She stood and slowly moved towards me.

"Tanya, I need you to please listen." As she stalked towards me, I retreated back towards the door.

"Just a chance, Edward. That's all I'm talking about," she said seductively as she reached down and untied the belt to her trench coat, revealing that she was completely naked underneath.

"Tanya-"

My attempt to explain to her was cut off when she threw herself at me and crushed her lips against mine. The force of the impact of her body sent us flying up against the wall several feet to the left of the door. She was moaning into my mouth and pressing herself against me and running her fingers threw my hair.

I grabbed her wrists and tried to gently push her back. She resisted and I was forced to use greater strength. I hated that she was making me be less than polite in handling this situation. I finally shoved her off me and spun her around, pinning her wrists against the wall on either side of head. She grinned at me wickedly.

"Tanya, you need to get this straight right now...."

This time, my words were interrupted not by Tanya, but by the sound of a gasp coming from the open door to my room.

"Bella!" I called, but she was already gone. I glanced back at Tanya with a scowl, taking in the scene as Bella must have. Me, pressing a half-naked woman up against a wall of my bedroom. There was no way Bella wouldn't assume the worst. "Leave. Now," I spat at Tanya as I took off after Bella.

I flew through the house and out into the yard. Emmett and Jasper were gone as well, and I immediately began searching for their minds.

_"Edward? Edward! What the hell happened? She took off like a bat out of hell, man, and she's too damned fast."_ Emmett was completely confused but pursuing her to the best of his abilities.

Jasper's mental voice was there too. _"Christ, Edward, I knew this was going to happen. Get your ass out here. She's heading towards the Susitna River and if she crosses it she's going to come out too damned close to the Denali Highway."_

I was already in a full-out sprint before Emmett had called my name the second time. I adjusted my bearing in response to Jasper's directions. I had to stop her before she got to that highway. There was no way she wouldn't encounter traffic. People. _God damn it._

BPOV

I used to only be able to worry about one thing at a time. But the thing about my newly expanded mind was that I now had the room and the capability of worrying about multiple things at the same time. At times it was all-consuming.

The reality of actually being a vampire was still hard to wrap my mind around. The Cullens', and especially Edward's, presence in my life again was like a dream come true - one I was half convinced I was on the verge of waking from at any moment. My grief over leaving Charlie and .Jake was there, too. I didn't want to give voice to it because I didn't want Edward to immediately jump to the conclusion that I regretted being changed. I didn't. I just regretted that people had to be hurt in the process. I wished I could be what I am and still have them in my life. But that would have been unrealistic.

Mostly, I didn't know what this new life was supposed to mean for me. What my...purpose?...was now. I didn't think I was being too dramatic here. I was only eighteen; it's not like I had some grand purpose before being changed. But at least I knew who I was and where I fit. I was a _student_. I was a _daughter_. I was a _friend_. Now, I wasn't sure where I fit, or rather, how. I didn't fully understand what my place in the Cullen family dynamic was. I was Bella McCarty. But I didn't really know who she was.

And I especially didn't know what Edward and I were, if we were anything. We hadn't spoken about that day in the forest, and Edward hadn't given me any indication of whether he wanted it to happen again. We had our own private spaces within the house and he rarely came to see me in my room, preferring to interact with me more in the public spaces of the house. In fairness, I didn't go to see him in his room, either. But I had been the one to initiate what happened back in Forks, and I wanted him to initiate if it was going to happen again. I wanted to make sure it was what he wanted, too. And so far, he had kept his distance.

And every day that passed without even a hint of that physical intimacy between us pushed me in the direction of assuming the worst: _He doesn't want me the way I want him. _In my worst moments, I even feared that he had been with me out of pity or guilt. Though, to be honest, if he would never have me again, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to regret being with him. It was too perfect. It felt too right. I would gladly take it and cherish it forever if it was all I would ever have from him. So, all I did was play the details of that afternoon over and over again in my now perfect mind.

I was glad when the boys wanted to take me on a hunting trip. I wanted to get out of the house and, hopefully, out of my head. Being around Emmett always seemed to help me do that because he just always seemed to be in the moment and loving life, and I needed a heavy dose of that. Admittedly, I felt better than I had in days joking around with the boys on the way home from the hunt. Emmett was so full of himself for demonstrating his bear-hunting prowess that he was in rare form, and he kept the three of us laughing the whole way home. I think that's what gave me the courage to bring up my fighting lessons. Remarkably, Edward agreed without the litany of concerns I expected him to raise. I loved him a little bit more at that moment.

Jasper had just begun telling me about his background when we arrived at the house. I was stunned to learn that this whole other world of vampires existed and lived so very differently from the lifestyle of the Cullens. I was amazed to learn of his extensive military experience and awed and more than a little horrified to learn how he had received his scars. He told me all of this so that I would understand where his lessons to me were coming from. All of a sudden I didn't resent all the hovering he had been doing during the last two weeks. Jasper had good reason to expect me to be out of control. I gained a lot of newfound respect for Jasper as he spoke.

In the middle of Jasper's retelling of his story, Edward abruptly offered his apologies and fled into the house. I didn't think anything about it at first because I was so enthralled with Jasper's words. But after fifteen minutes, Edward still hadn't returned. And I began to worry that maybe he couldn't handle the idea of teaching me to fight. I wasn't going to back down on learning, but I was willing to talk to him to see if there might be a way of going about it that would make him more comfortable. So I left Emmett and Jasper to a playful wrestling match while I went in search of Edward.

My senses detected sounds and smells that I didn't fully comprehend, but I didn't pay enough attention. And by the time my eyes made sense of those sounds and smells, I comprehended too much.

Edward was holding an exquisitely beautiful woman up against the wall. She was stunning in every way, and every part of her perfection was available to evaluate underneath the open trench. Her warm blond hair hung in soft curls down over her shoulders. Edward's shirt was wrinkled and askew and his hair was all over the place as if her hands had been in it. I easily recalled the last time I saw Edward's hair look, well, like _that_. I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my throat when I walked in and saw them. She was his perfect match in every way.

All I knew was that I had to get away from them. I didn't want to see the apology in Edward's eyes or hear his effort to explain her or see the family's pity. _Why didn't any of them tell me?_

I was feeling a little like a caged lion in that moment. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me.

By the time I flew out the front door, Jasper and Emmett were little more than a blur. I didn't know where I was going. My three hunting trips had not well acquainted me with the surrounding territory yet. And while I knew that quite a few acres belonged to the Cullens, some part of my brain was trying to get me to be concerned about the possible presence of humans. But all of that seemed secondary to my primary survival instinct at the moment - get away from _them._

I slowed as I encountered a wide river. Large chunks of ice floated lazily and craggy rocks jutted up here and there. I realized I could hear traffic in the distance. I came to a stop and tried to just...think. I could hear Emmett's and Jasper's pursuit and it was making me feel pressured to know what to do.

I groaned in frustration and stalked the edge of the river, kicking and pulverizing rocks as I went.

"Stop, Emmett," Jasper ordered. "Bella?"

I didn't bother to glance at them. They knew I could hear them.

"Hey Sis, what hap-?"

Jasper cut off Emmett with a hiss.

"What?" he retorted.

I turned to glare at Jasper. He was looking at me like I was fragile, like I needed to be _handled_.

"God damnit, Jasper! Can you read my emotions right now?" _I need to get this freaking under control, if so_.

He nodded, sheepishly. _Great. Just great._ I rolled my eyes and huffed and stomped my foot down on another rock that turned to dust beneath me. Destruction could be therapeutic.

Just then a third presence made itself known as it approached at lightning speed. My body was too attuned to his to not know it was Edward. I turned back towards the river, considering.

"Bella, please don't. The highway...," Jasper cautioned.

I sighed in defeat.

"Oh, Bella, thank God," Edward called as he came to the riverbank.

"What do you want, Edward?" I responded tightly. I was trying with all my might to restrain myself. I didn't want him to see my hurt or anger or feelings of betrayal. I didn't want him to see the evidence of how I loved him when it so obviously wasn't reciprocated.

"Bella, you've got it all wrong. Please!"

"Edward, you need to tread carefully," Jasper interjected.

_Oh, for God's sake, that means Edward can hear me too._ I looked at him, now knowing he already heard everything I had wanted to keep from him. I knew my eyes were pleading. _It's fine, Edward. Really. I get it. Just, please. I need to be alone._

"Bella, just listen."

_God, why do I feel like we keep having this same conversation over and over?_

"Because you're not listening to me, Bella!" The anger in Edward's voice first stunned me, and then set off my own anger.

"Are you freaking kidding me, Edward?" I stalked towards him. I didn't miss Jasper's and Emmett's movement towards us. "I have done nothing _but_ listen to you these past weeks. You explained leaving me. I listened. You explained how I was misunderstanding you. I listened. You told me you wanted me. I listened. But in all that listening, I never heard you tell me about _her_!" I saw Jasper and Emmett exchange confused glances. "I'm pretty sure I would have remembered you telling me about the beautiful blond vampire from Alaska. The one who apparently knows you well enough that she shows up in your in your room unannounced with no clothes on. Hmm...let me think for a minute," I feigned taking a moment to think. "Nope. I certainly never heard anything about her."

"Bella-" All three of them called out my name at the same time.

"Figures," I spat. Why would Jasper and Emmett stick up for me?

"Sis, you need to listen to Edward _this_ time. You do have it wrong. I swear." Emmett's words stopped my pacing and rock destruction.

I looked to Jasper, and he nodded reassuringly.

I whimpered in frustration. "Talk. Fast," I directed at Edward.

"She's one of the Denali vampires. She's had a crush on me forever. I've turned her down a hundred times. I've turned her down _every_ time. She just doesn't take 'no' for an answer. And she does...stuff...like that every once in a while. She threw herself at me, obviously, and I was trying to explain to her...."

He hesitated. "What, Edward? Huh? 'Cause that didn't look like explaining in there."

"I was trying to explain to her that I was utterly in love with you and that there could never be another for me."

I was stunned, momentarily frozen in place as my brain first tried to process the words and then attempted to make myself believe them.

Jasper and Emmett were muttering words supportive of Edward's explanation. I wanted to believe them, really I did. But I was so afraid to let myself believe. I really wanted to talk to....

Just then Alice and Rosalie burst through the tree line behind the boys. They marched directly past Jasper and Emmett and, a few seconds later, Edward, too. Rosalie smacked Edward on the back of the head as she passed him, and he growled in response.

"Don't you growl at me, Edward Cullen. You couldn't freakin' warn her?" Rosalie continued to stalk up to me, and I was frankly a little intimidated. "Bella, here's the deal. Tanya Denali is one of my closest friends. But she's entirely infatuated with Eddie here and never misses an opportunity to make a pass at him. Edward has resisted her advances for as long as I've known him. I'm telling you all this because this is partly my fault. Alice, Esme, and I went over there to visit while you four were hunting, and as soon as I let it slip that Edward was back, she took off to the house before we even realized it. I've made it clear that her behavior will _not_ be tolerated -by any of us. I don't think she'll cause anymore misunderstandings like this again." Alice took my hand and nodded.

I realized I was biting my bottom lip hard as I listened to Rosalie's explanation. I was flooded with conflicting emotions: relief at her confirmation of his story; fear that there was now no reason to disbelieve Edward's feelings; embarrassment for doubting him; and anger at the blond vampire who was encroaching on _my_ territory. _What an odd way to think of Edward_. But I couldn't help it. I noticed Edward stand a little taller.

"Um, thank you, Rose," I muttered, "Do you all think...could I please talk to Edward...alone?"

They agreed and left as a group. The sound of the river rolling behind us filled the air for a moment.

Edward stalked straight up to me and roughly grabbed my face in his hands. "What can I say, Bella? What can I do to make you believe me? Tell me. Please! I'll do anything!"

His desperation was startling. "I...I'm sorry, Edward."

"No, Bella. I don't want your apology. I accept it, but I don't want it. It's unnecessary. Rose was right. I should have warned you. But Tanya was simply the furthest thing from my mind. It just didn't occur to me, because all I have been thinking about, all I _can_ think about...is you."

"Why haven't you-?" I began to blurt out before censoring myself.

"What Bella? Please. I can't hear your mind anymore. You must tell me what you need."

His face was so close to mine that it was hard to think. But this wasn't going to get better if I kept it bottled up inside me.

"Please, Bella," he whispered.

"Wanted...me?" I said so low that only a vampire could have heard it.

"Oh my God, Bella."

His words could have meant so many different things. I tried to pull free of him but he wouldn't let me. And then his lips crashed into mine. I was whimpering against him, struggling to push free. I didn't want this to be a pity kiss.

He finally let me pull away a little. His hands slipped down to my shoulders. He shook me gently to emphasize each word: "I. Want. You. I want you every minute of every day. What we...did...God, Bella, it was the most amazing experience of my life."

"But, then, why?" I finally met his eyes. They reinforced the sincerity of his voice.

"I was afraid you regretted it. I was afraid I had taken advantage of you when you were so upset. I couldn't tell what you thought, what _you_ wanted. And I didn't want to...complicate things further."

I thought for a moment. "God, Edward. Do you realize how messed up we are? I had nearly the same concerns."

"I could never regret being with you, Bella. Never."

"Me neither. You know, it seems like things get most complicated when we don't say what we're feeling, Edward. I'm as responsible as you are. We'll never have a chance if we don't get better at talking."

He nodded. "Please tell me that you believe that I love you, Bella. That I want you to be mine." I nodded. "No. That's not good enough, Bella. I want to hear you say it."

I searched his eyes. I could see it there. "You...love me."

He nodded. "And?"

"You...you want...me."

"I do. And you love me and want me too."

"I do," I said fervently.

In that moment, I was so filled with relief and hope that I threw myself at Edward again, and I caught him off balance. He fell backwards onto the riverbank with me on top of him as we kissed and moaned and whispered words of love and affection and devotion.

After a moment, I pulled back. His expression was filled with lust and not a little amusement. "It's still hard to get used to your strength," he mused.

"I rather like it," I quipped.

"Me too. I'm not complaining." He seemed to think for a bit as he gently stroked his long fingers across my cheekbone. "Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I don't want to hurt you anymore. And I don't want any more misunderstandings or miscommunications to come between us. Would you...would you go on a date with me?"

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me at such a, well, _normal_ suggestion. "A date?"

"Yes. A date. You know. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy asks girl to spend some time with him so they can get to know one another. A date."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I _know_ what a date is, Edward. It's just...aren't we...."

"What? A little beyond a date?" I nodded as I bit my bottom lip. "I don't think so. I could never know you well enough, nor spend enough time with you, nor put enough time into making this, with you, work."

I smiled. "I would love to go on a date with you, Edward." I was rewarded with one of his crooked smiles this time, and a soft chaste kiss.

We headed back to the house, the awkwardness of the last ten days now gone. The oversexed blonde was gone when we returned, for which I was eternally grateful - I wasn't _that_ in control of my emotions.

I knew for sure that all was well between us when Edward asked if I would like to come listen to music in his room that night. For a while, as we sat there, it was possible to imagine nothing had ever come between us. I hoped and prayed that nothing ever would again.


	12. Chapter 12: Us

BPOV

Things had been so much more natural between Edward and me in the several days since our argument by the river. He took me hunting and helped me familiarize myself with the layout of the Cullen land, which abutted the six-million-acre Denali National Park and Preserve. We spent a lot of time listening to his vast music collection, which Esme had been so kind as to box up and ship to Alaska when the Cullens left Forks. For hours, I sat completely enthralled as he told me stories of his life over time. We talked books and movies and art and ideas. It made me think back to the days leading up to our first visit to the meadow when we took turns asking one another questions. Except this time neither of us held back. We had no reason to.

And, slowly but surely, and with no real conversation about it, most of my few belongings had migrated into Edward's room. It was bigger and had a magnificent view of Mount McKinley in the distance. It felt like home.

"Happy anniversary," Edward said to me as the sun rose one morning the second week of April.

"Anniversary?" I smiled over at him from my place lying on the floor. We were currently working through listening to his large collection of blues music. My body felt completely relaxed against the plush carpet. Edward was laying on the floor next to me, his head right next to mine but his body sprawled out in the opposite direction.

"Yes." His smile was a little shy. "It has been one month today since you became a...well, since you awoke from your change."

I laughed at him. I couldn't help it. "Since I became a vampire?" Somehow I seemed more comfortable with the word than he did.

He nodded.

"Wow. A month." I thought for a moment. "It's weird. It both seems like it just happened yesterday and like I've always been a vampire."

"I know. Time has a very different feeling for us. It takes a while to get used to." He turned on his side and rested his head on his hand. I mirrored his position, bringing our faces closer.

"That's not the only thing," I murmured, lost in thought.

"Oh, yeah? What else takes getting used to?"

I traced a pattern in the carpet's pile. "Not sleeping, for one. It's amazing how much more time you have when you never get tired." He nodded knowingly. "And, being able to hear so much." I looked into his eyes. "I have a newfound respect for how difficult your gift must be. It's difficult to shut out all the different sounds I can hear now. It kinda pulls my attention in all different directions at the same time. How do you cope with it?"

"Well, I didn't have to cope with it much as a newborn. Carlisle quickly settled us in a secluded area after my change, so at first it was only his mind I could hear. It was some time before I could tolerate crowded places, but I eventually learned how to tune it out, or at least how to...turn the volume down and only listen when I want or need to."

"Being with me must be very different then, not being able to hear me. Well," I rolled my eyes, "_most_ of the time, anyway."

He smiled. "You have no idea, Bella. The peace I can have when I am with you soothes my very sou-"

He cut himself off and my eyes flashed to his. "Finish your sentence," I ordered, incredulous.

"I did."

"Did not. You were going to say 'soul'!" I pulled myself up to sit on my knees and heels, leaning over him.

He ran his hand through his hair and moved to sit up. "Bella."

I grabbed his shoulders and pinned him down, cocking one eyebrow at him. "Admit it."

He looked at me for several long seconds. "It was merely an expression."

"Edward Cullen. You are a big fat liar!" My mouth was hanging open, still surprised.

"I am not fat." He tried to look offended.

"What? Stop that. You know what I mean. You said you have a soul."

I'm not sure if I had ever seen Edward at a loss for words or more eager to get out of a conversation. It was something to behold.

"Edward, tell me something?"

He looked relieved for the potential change in the subject. "Of course."

"Do you think I have a soul?" I sat back and released his shoulders. He sat up to face me. The conflict was written all over his face. I knew I had him cornered.

He looked down at his fingers, then finally looked back up. "Yes."

I could have teased him and lorded his admission over him, but I felt the moment was too important. "Then," I reached forward and took both of his hands in both of mine, "how can I have a soul if you don't?"

He took a deep breath. His shoulders fell just a bit. "I...it's just...I...." He closed his eyes in frustration.

I thought for a few minutes. _What could he think is so different about us?_ And then it occurred to me, or at least I had a pretty good guess. "Edward, if I killed a human, would you still think I had my soul?"

His eyes flashed to mine, pained and angered. "Bella, that would never happen. You're not that kind of person. And I would never let you get in a situation where it would happen accidentally."

"That doesn't answer my question." I hated forcing him to talk about this, but I truly felt that it was important.

"It's a moot point, Bella-"

"No, it's not, Edward. Please?"

He huffed. "I cannot imagine any scenario, Bella, in which I would think you were soulless."

"So that means you have one, too?" I led.

His eyes met mine. He looked sad, unsure. He was sitting with his legs crossed, and I crawled over to him and, sitting right in front of him, placed my legs over his so that I could pull him into an embrace. "Please say it, Edward. How could I love someone without a soul?"

He finally melted against me. "You're the only reason I can even hope that I might have a soul, Bella," he whispered into my hair.

"You do, Edward. I promise you do. And it's a beautiful soul. An old soul." I pulled back and took his face in my hands. I wanted to be able to look in his eyes. "And so filled with love. For me. For your family." I ran my thumbs across his cheekbones. He was so beautiful.

Ever so slowly, Edward leaned his face towards mine. His kept his eyes trained on mine the whole time and the slow movement and anticipation seemed to suck all of the oxygen out of the air. Our lips melted together softly, tentatively. It felt like gratitude, only more.

Before I even knew it he had scooped me to actually sit in his the cradle of his lap, and the closer position allowed me to fold my legs around behind him.

We had kissed in the days since our argument, but not like this. This kiss quickly became needful and exploring.

"God, Bella," Edward moaned. I could feel his erection stirring where I was sitting on him. I could literally feel that he wanted me. It was thrilling.

I pressed down against him, and he gripped his hands in my hair. I loved that he didn't have to be so gentle and guarded with me any longer. I sucked his tongue into my mouth and stroked it languidly with my tongue and lips. He groaned louder and pulled his lips away just enough to say, "I want you so much, Bella." He pulled back further to look in my eyes. Without the words I knew he was asking permission.

What he didn't know was that I had simply been waiting for him to initiate it.

"Show me how much, Edward," I whispered against his lips.

He worked kisses across my jawline to my ear and then down my throat. His hands found the hemline of my shirt and he lifted it up. I pulled my arms from around him long enough for me to work it over my head. I had the passing thought that I wished he'd just ripped the shirt from me, but maybe he thought that would scare me. Before I could concentrate much on that, he leaned me back into one arm so that he could continue kissing down my chest. He released the clasp on my bra and gently pulled the lacey fabric away.

He looked up into my eyes. "So beautiful, Bella. So soft and feminine and perfect." When his fingers found my breast and began stroking me there, my eyes fell closed and my head fell back.

I cried out when he closed his lips around my nipple, and I felt his hand go over my mouth. The initial confusion I had was entirely replaced with how much that action turned me on. "Bella, the family...do you care?"

I was torn, but quickly decided that I wasn't going to be able to spend eternity avoiding the family's overhearing of our sex life. _Our sex life._ Clearly, I was hoping we'd be having one. I shook my head no and Edward relaxed his hand, dragging it spread open down my neck and across my chest.

Edward's erection was now quite prominent inside his jeans and he shifted underneath me, causing an incredible but too-short friction against my center. We both groaned at the contact.

Slowly, Edward pushed my body back off of his until I was lying on the ground in front of him. His leonine qualities were apparent as he crawled towards my body and lowered himself on top of me. His movements were seductive. His full weight on top of me was intoxicating. I loved the feeling of fisting my fingers in his hair - it had been an action that at one time would have brought a swift and conclusive ending to our kisses. I craved the feeling of his strong shoulders under my hands, the muscles of his back rippling as he moved his arms and body over me.

Soon we were panting and pressing against one another.

We worked together to lift his shirt off, and the feeling of his bare skin against mine was so sweet, so silky, that it made me think I could cry for the goodness of it. He began to work his body down mine, placing open-mouthed kisses against my breasts and abdomen. I was more than a little surprised and confused when his head fell against my chest with a thunk.

"Edward?"

He sighed. He looked up at me, a mixture of lust and frustration and resignation. "We're apparently about to have company." He sat up off of me with a smile and reached out his hands to help pull me up. I pressed a kissed into the center of his chest and smiled against him.

"So, who's coming?" I asked as we stood, pulled our shirts back on, and made an effort to straighten our hair.

He came to me and wrapped his arms around me. "The Denalis."

"Oh." Internally, I wasn't taking that news so blithely.

Just then a soft knock rapped against the door. "Come in, Alice." He kissed me on the cheek. "I'll leave you two to talk," he said as he left.

"_She'll_ be here, too?" I asked Alice.

She nodded. We both looked over the clothes I was currently wearing: jeans and a long-sleeved grey t-shirt. I looked to the laundry basket that sat by the door. Esme had placed the basket that contained a mixture of mine and Edward's clothes in his room. I found it an endearing recognition of our developing relationship, even though I found it embarrassing that she had done my laundry. I wasn't used to someone taking care of me that way. The basket only contained more jeans, t-shirts, tanks, and yoga pants. I couldn't go shopping myself yet and saw no reason for anything beyond some basics for the time being, particularly as I had no money of my own with which to shop. Neither Alice nor Edward saw any logic in the financial argument - both were constantly attempting to reassure me that there was no such thing as 'their money' and 'my money,' there was just the Cullens' money. And I was a Cullen. Sorta.

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this," I said with a pleading glance to Alice. "But please tell me you have something nicer that I could wear."

She flashed a brilliant smile. "Come with me," she called as she led me down to her and Jasper's bedroom. I was astounded to see that her walk-in closet was nearly the size of my old bedroom in Forks. "I will make you look fantastic on one condition."

I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what it would be. "Fine, Alice. You can buy me clothes if you help me. I'll even sit with you and help pick things out online."

"With no complaining?"

I smirked at her. But she knew she had me. "No complaining."

She whipped around and instantly laid an outfit on the bed. "Just try it on before you offer any editorial comments."

I was soon dressed in an outfit I never would have chosen but that I loved. Skinny jeans tucked into tight knee-high leather boots with a empire-waisted v-neck ivory sweater. I looked comfortable and even sexy, at all once. The icing on the cake was my Cullen crest locket, which the v-neck very nicely highlighted. The best thing was that it didn't look like I had necessarily _tried_ to look nice. "Alice, you're a genius."

"Yes, yes I am," she laughed.

The sound of an approaching vehicle alerted us to the Denalis' arrival. I didn't like feeling nervous in my own home, but I did. It made me angry, but I swallowed the feeling down.

Five beautiful vampires entered and greeted the Cullens like the old friends that they were. I liked Carmen and Eleazar immediately. Kate and Irina seemed friendly enough but were intimidating in their beauty. And then there was Tanya. She gave me two air kisses on either side of my face and said "Nice to finally meet you, Isabella."

"Bella." Edward and I both corrected her at the same time. I could have thrown him down and kissed him. "Nice to meet you, too," I replied.

Tanya tried to place less air between her kisses and Edward's face, but he pulled back to insure she didn't actually kiss him. The anger I had swallowed earlier began to resurface. _She's seriously trying to kiss him with me and everyone standing right here?_ I felt Alice squeeze my bicep. _Okay, deep breaths_. Edward gave me a small smile and came to stand by me. "You look nice," he whispered in my ear. I pressed my cheek softly against his in reply.

"Please, come in everyone," Carlisle offered.

"Thank you, Carlisle," Eleazar replied as he and Carmen sat on one of the large sofas in the great room. "We wanted to give Bella a little time to get acclimated before we all descended to meet her." He looked to me. "But we've been so eager to meet the newest Cullen. It's a pleasure, Bella."

I knew I would be blushing if I still could. "Thank you, Eleazar."

Everyone exchanged pleasantries for a while. Then Carlisle began, "Bella, Eleazar is something of an expert in vampire talents. I hope you don't mind that I mentioned your talent to him. He has offered to help you work on them, if you'd like."

This is something that had been on my mind a lot lately. I didn't seem to be able to control the expansion of my shield, if that's what it was, and it was mortifying and frustrating at times. I seemed to be throwing my shield out whenever any kind of emotions got out of control. "I would like help, yes. Thank you. It would probably make sense if Edward or Jasper would help, too," I looked between them, "I mean if they want to, since they can always tell when something's happening."

Edward and Jasper both replied quickly that they would help however they could.

"Would you mind coming to sit next to me, Bella?" Eleazar asked.

I looked at Edward, and he nodded. I rose from my space on one sofa and made my way to sit next to Eleazar on the other.

"I have something of a gift for sensing talents. You, young one, have more than one." His words completely surprised me, and I looked to Carlisle and Edward. "You're right about the shield, Carlisle. And it was in existence during her human life?"

"Apparently," Edward replied. "I was unable to read her mind as I can others."

Eleazar nodded. "And now Jasper's power is ineffective on her, too?" Jasper nodded.

"Bella, Carlisle mentioned that you have retained all of your human memories with clarity, is that correct?"

"Yes," I replied in between gnawing on my bottom lip. I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed.

"Interesting. I'm guessing yours is quite the powerful shield. Once you have harnessed it, you should be able to control its application, and I suspect very much that you will realize other talents once you have gained that control."

"Such as?" I asked with a small voice.

"Edward can hear your mind when you lose control of your shield?" I nodded. "Have you ever been able to hear his mind, or anyone else's, while that was happening?"

"Definitely not." I was astounded at the very idea of being able to hear Edward's thoughts. Edward himself looked stunned at the question.

"What are you suggesting, Eleazar?" Carlisle asked, clearly intrigued to learn more.

"Well, we won't know until Bella can control her shield, but I think she will be able to tap into the powers of those whom she draws into her shield."

"I don't understand."

"Bella, think of your shield like a balloon. It surrounds your mind, and keeps everyone out. Right?" Okay, that made sense. I nodded. "When you lose control of your emotions, the balloon is apparently expanding, but with no real control over how much it's expanding. I think you will be able to learn to control that. So if you want to blow up the balloon to just surround Edward, you could. Or if you wanted to blow it up enough to surround all of us, you could. That's how it seems to me, at least."

"Oh." I rubbed my forehead. "So...," I thought for a moment, "are you saying that if I learned to surround Edward and Jasper within my shield, I might...be able...to...." _No. Couldn't be. _

I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder and looked up into Carlisle's kind eyes. "Don't worry, Bella. There's no rush to perfect your talent or even fully understand it. It's something you'll learn over time. No pressure, okay?"

I nodded, grateful to him.

As I looked back around the group, something caught my attention that had been bugging me more and more while Eleazar spoke. Tanya had been staring intently at Edward during the entire conversation. Her laser focus on him meant that she didn't notice me noticing her. Tanya's eyes traveled over Edward's body repeatedly. Every once in a while she would lick her lips. I noticed Edward shift. Whatever nasty thoughts were running through Tanya's mind seemed to be making him uncomfortable. _He _told_ her he was with me._ All of a sudden my anger returned full force. _I can't believe her! What a bitch! She's in _my_ house for God's sakes!_

Edward's eyes flashed to me. _Shit! He heard that. Edward, can you hear me right now?_ He nodded. The look on his face was attempting to soothe me, but the stress of the past weeks combined with Eleazar's overwhelming analysis of my talents combined with my jealousy and outrage over Tanya were very hard to control. When Tanya looked at me and smiled this fake little toothy smile, I snapped.

I flew out of my seat and before I even knew it I was standing in front of Edward, blocking Tanya's view of him. I could feel my body trembling. And I could hear Edward trying to calm me down. But my brain was running a constant loop of _Mine! Mine! Mine!_ that was blocking everything else out. If anything, Tanya's smile only broadened. _I'm going to freaking kill her._ Edward managed to rise around me and took my hand, pulling me towards the front door. "We'll be back in a bit," he called to everyone, most of whom looked completely confused about the nature of the drama that had just unfolded in front of them over the past few seconds.

Just as the door closed behind us I heard Tanya mutter, "Newborns," under her breath. I turned to go back in but Edward caught me. He was struggling to keep me from flying back through the door and pleading with me to let it go.

Then I heard Rosalie growl lowly, "That'll be enough, Tanya." At her words, I stopped struggling against Edward's body and allowed him to lead me away.

_Can you still hear me, Edward?_ I didn't trust my voice at the moment.

"Yes. It's okay, Bella," he replied. We walked in silence for a while, heading nowhere in particular. It was windy out, and my hair was flying around my face. I was glad for it. I didn't want Edward to see the scowl I was sure was still painted across my features. And I was embarrassed that I had allowed Tanya to get to me.

After a while we came to a large tree that had fallen over, and I climbed up on it and sat down. _I never could've done that so easily while I was human_, I mused.

"No, there definitely would have been bandages involved," Edward teased.

"I'm not angry anymore. How can you still hear me?"

He shrugged. I closed my eyes and concentrated. I tried to picture the balloon that Eleazar described. I saw it around Edward and then I deflated it so that he was on the outside. _Still hear me?_ I called silently.

But Edward was just staring at me intently. "You can't hear me anymore!" He shook his head with a smile. "I pictured pulling the balloon back from you and then you couldn't me!"

"Bella, that's excellent. Do you want to see if you can expand it again?"

"Okay." I concentrated. I was looking at Edward but I allowed my gaze to lose focus, and I pictured the balloon again. I tried to push it out from myself to encompass him. It felt heavy. Impossible. "I can't!" I finally said, resigned.

"It's okay, Bella. It will just take time. We'll work at it, okay? But Carlisle's right. There's no pressure." He took my hand and squeezed.

I'm not sure how long we sat there. "Maybe we should head back now," I offered.

Edward nodded then jumped down off the stump. He turned to help me down but I was already next to him before he did it. He smiled and shook his head and then took my hand as we started walking.

"Hey Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Thanks." I loved that he'd known what I needed.

He grabbed me and pulled me to him, the front of my body fell flush against the front of his. "Bella, can I tell you something?"

"Of course." I was mesmerized by his suddenly darker eyes.

"When you stood in front of me to...defend me...from Tanya. God Bella...." He lowered his forehead against mine.

"What?"

"Bella, that was...it was so sexy." He eyes were intense as they bore into mine.

I sucked in a breath at his words. "Really?"

"Really. Plus," he said around a gentle kiss, "I can't tell you how much I like the fact that you feel possessive of me, Bella," he pressed on when I tried to interrupt, "because I feel the same way."

My eyes flashed to his and then to his lips. Unable to resist any longer, I crushed my lips against his. He responded immediately. It felt so good, _so right_, to be with Edward this way. I found myself soon overwhelmed. It wasn't just the intensity of the physical kiss, although that was deliriously wonderful. It was that the kiss was the physical expression of the love I - _we_ - so clearly felt for one another. All of a sudden, I felt like there was an _us_ again. I don't know at what point it happened, but the intensity of my feelings as I reached my epiphany had apparently thrown my shield out around Edward who pulled back with a gasp.

"Oh, God, Bella, please say that out loud."

"I...," I couldn't figure out the words to verbalize my thoughts. "You and me...I...I feel like we're 'us' again."

Edward threw his arms around me and pulled me tight against his chest. "Oh, thank God, Bella, thank you. I can't tell you what that means to me." He pressed a long kiss into my hair, and I relished in the feeling of his love. I took a deep breath. It was time to let the feelings of hurt go. I pictured all of my sadness and despair and anger and, using Eleazar's idea of visualizing, I pictured those feelings as tree leaves that I allowed the wind to blow off of me and away. I immediately felt lighter, freer.

Edward pulled back from our embrace, a huge beautiful smile on his face. He was such a stunning sight when he smiled, and I hadn't seen a smile this genuine from him in, well, I wasn't sure when. "I meant to tell you earlier, Bella, before the Denalis came. Tonight is a good night for our date." I had been waiting forever for him to mention his date idea again. For days he had been teasingly saying "it wasn't a good time, _yet_," though I had no idea what he could mean. Since we had been spending nearly every minute together anyway, I let him have his little bit of intrigue. It was cute to see him so playful.

"Tonight, hmm? Let me see. I was going to wash my hair tonight." He could stand a little teasing in return.

He sighed, exasperated. "Bella, your hair is beautiful."

I smacked him on his arm and he stopped. "You didn't really think I was serious, did you?" He smiled his crooked smile. "I would love to go out with you tonight."

He took my hand and we headed back in the direction of the large Cullen cabin. I was excited to see what Edward might have planned. It wasn't like we could exactly go to dinner and a movie. I decided to put my wonderings aside and just enjoy being. Whatever it was, it would be perfect because it was with Edward.


	13. Chapter 13: The Date

SM Owns! Thanks for all the great reviews! Enjoy:

* * *

BPOV

The Cullens had the largest board game collection I had ever seen. It was like looking at the game aisle of a major toy store. Right now Edward and I were playing Scrabble. This was his way of trying to distract me from this date he promised me we'd be going on. But apparently it wasn't time. Yet.

I guess I hadn't realized how much I was looking forward to it, but now that he said it was happening tonight, I was bouncing off the walls about it.

He laid his letter tiles down on the board: S E R E N I T Y

I had two reactions: _Figures!_ Of course Edward would manage to get the extra points for using all his tiles on the third word of the game. My second reaction was to roll my eyes at him. _This is as calm as I'm getting right now, Cullen_.

I recorded the score and looked down at my tiles. I smirked as I picked up my letters and laid them down, using his Y: A N N O Y I N G

_Take that! Triple world score buddy! _I was still losing.

Taking just a minute, Edward went again, using his previous S: A D O R E S

He looked at me, his face full of adoration.

I could have gotten more points for my next word, but using the E in 'serenity', I played along with Edward's game and made: B E T T E R

That made him laugh out loud.

We played a few more rounds, continuing to play words that contained messages in them, when Edward leaned across the board and kissed me, messing the tiles up in the process.

"Hey!" I pouted.

"Love?"

"What?" I had almost caught up with him.

"It's time to go."

"What? Go where...?" And then it occurred to me. "You mean...?"

He smiled and nodded. _It's time to go! It's time to go!_ Hmm...go where? I still had no clue what he had planned. I found that I didn't mind the surprise at all.

He helped me slip into my coat and then he donned his, out of habit more than anything, and we stepped out into the cold early evening air. The last light of the day still hung on. Gathering us into Emmett's Jeep, which I was very curious about, Edward and I rode in companionable silence for perhaps twenty minutes before Edward veered off on some rough dirt roads that clearly led us into the wilds of the Denali National Park.

I looked at him in concern. _What if there are people?_ "Edward-"

Sensing the source of my dismay, Edward gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. The park doesn't open for another month. We shouldn't run into anyone."

It was getting darker, but even through the twilight the looming form of Mt. McKinley was obvious silhouetted against the dark blue sky. Edward slowed the Jeep to a stop in a thicket of low bushes. He leaned over to me and kissed my ear. "We go the rest of the way on foot," he smiled. I noticed he patted his jeans pocket before getting out of the Jeep.

He opened my door for me, and I hopped out, and then he took my hand. I knew if I had still been human I would have been cold. But while my new body could sense the temperature, I felt oddly unaffected by it. Instead, I was most aware of the faint scent of moose on the wind. It immediately caused a wave of venom to coat my mouth. Edward noticed my discomfort.

"Let's run, love. It will help. We can hunt later. But first there's something I really want you to see."

We took off at a full-out run and were soon scaling up the side of the mountain. I laughed in wonder and exhilaration. A mile up the face of the mountain, there was a noticeable plateau. Edward spread out a thick blanket I didn't notice him carrying and motioned for me to sit. I looked around curiously, unable to fathom why we were stopping here. Without question, the view was stunning. Despite the dark, I could make out the wondrous panoramic view available from our perch on the side of the mountain. It was almost like sitting on top of the world.

And that's when I saw it. It was just a glint out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't even sure what I was seeing at first. It was green. And it rippled curiously. I turned my head.

And all at once the sky was filled with the most wondrous colored lights I had ever seen.

I gasped in amazement. I had never seen the northern lights this close before - I recalled seeing vague hints of green light once from the beach at La Push - but never from a vantage point where they filled the whole sky. Sitting where we were, I felt encompassed by the ethereal light.

I finally pulled my gaze away from the sky to look at Edward, who was focused on my reaction expectantly. "This is the best date, Edward."

He beamed at me, then reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an iPod. Handing me an ear bud and taking one for himself, he loaded up a playlist of songs I had identified as my favorites from all his music we had been listening to recently. I scooted my body closer to his on the blanket and took his hand.

For the longest time, we reveled in the feeling of our affectionate touch and watched the heavenly performance of lights against the night sky. For a long while the sky was alive with activity. Green arcs of light undulated and pulsed. I gasped and looked at Edward with wide eyes and a gaping mouth when the sky suddenly flashed red. His eyes were on me.

"Edward, did you see that?"

He nodded, smiling.

"Why aren't you watching the lights? This is absolutely incredible!"

"I am watching them, love. I'm watching them through your eyes."

I attempted a reply but could think of none that made any sense against the adoration expressed in those words.

After a while, the activity quieted, and the green light hung in a mostly still striated curtain against the sky. Edward pulled his hand out of mine and wrapped his arms around my upper body. He pulled me to sit in between his legs with my back against his chest, and I laughed at the ease with which he could still manhandle me. A sarcastic comment flitted through my brain, but the night was too special for sarcasm or complaint. He wrapped his hands around my abdomen and rested his chin on my shoulder. His breath whispered against my ear.

"The lights of the Aurora Borealis result from the collision of particles released from the sun that travel to the Earth on a solar wind. The solar particles then collide with particles in the Earth's atmosphere causing kinetic energy that is converted to visible light. This green, and the red that we saw earlier, are created by atomic oxygen. When you see blue or purple, it's caused by nitrogen. The most rare is orange, which is created by Neon."

I listened to his quiet voice, impressed with his knowledge, and still mesmerized by the otherworldly glow the green light created.

"The first time I saw the lights was in 1922. Carlisle and I settled in northern Wisconsin. The light was blue," he said absentmindedly.

I snuggled back against his chest, and I heard him sigh in contentment.

In that moment, I was completely overcome by the feeling that Edward and I were the only people in the world. Edward. Me. _Us_. What had begun earlier in the day as a feeling that _maybe_ we were an 'us' again had now developed into an urge, a pull, an incontrovertible truth. Edward and I were _together_. And - whatever mistakes we had made, whatever pain we might have caused one another, whatever had passed between us before - that was how it was meant to be.

I was just about to express my recommitment to him when his soft voice began again.

"You are my Aurora, Bella. I was a dark and lifeless night. And then you blew into my life, a gift from the sun, and you lit up my world with the most brilliant colors and patterns. And because of you, I could see things that I had never seen before, that I would never have seen without you." Filled with a longing to see his face, I turned myself in his arms so that my side rested against his chest, and I could look into his eyes. My chest clenched at the amount of raw emotion I saw expressed there. "When you're not near me," he said staring into my eyes, "when the light goes away, it's so much darker than it ever was before you were with me. Bella, when I...left...it was so dark that I thought I'd never find myself again. I never, _ever_, want to experience that darkness again...."

Earlier in the day, I had allowed the wind to blow away the last of the hurt feelings I had been harboring. But his words were like a salve, cooling and soothing and healing the last of my internal injuries.

"Edward, I love you," I blurted out. Somewhat surprised, he held off on continuing the words I could tell were lingering on the tip of his tongue. He turned his face towards mine with an incredulous smile.

EPOV

For just a moment, Bella's declaration stunned me, and I sat dumbfounded.

"Edward?" She reached up with gentle fingers and lovingly stroked my cheek.

_Edward, I love you_.

_She. Loves me? She loves me!_

"You love me." It was a statement, but it came out as part question.

"Yes. I've told you before."

"Yes." I searched her face. Something...seemed different. Something in her face looked more peaceful. Something in her spirit seemed more serene. Her gaze was so open, none of the guardedness of recent weeks remained. "Yes, I know. It's just...it's just that you haven't said it _first_ before." It felt childish to make note of this, but it seemed somehow significant in that moment.

She seemed to hesitate, but then replied, simply, "I know." She cupped her hand around my jaw. "I wasn't ready to say it first before."

"But you are now?" She nodded. "Can I ask what changed?"

She sighed, dropped her hand into her lap, and rested her head against my chest. She turned her face to focus on the lights once again. Occasionally, a bit of red flashed through the now undulating green. She would answer when she was ready. I could feel it.

It occurred to me as we sat there that I had perhaps never felt more peaceful in my life. For once, my mind was at rest. For once, my spirit was at ease. I was perfectly comfortable sitting right there on the side of a mountain with the love of my preternaturally long life. This night felt full of magic.

After a long while, she turned her face back to me. "You asked what changed?" I nodded, very eager for her reply now that she was offering it. "Nothing and everything."

I looked at her considering, then felt my brow furrow. _What does that mean?_

She smiled, knowing her words would leave me just as confused as before she spoke. "Nothing has changed, meaning I feel as certain of the rightness of 'us' as I was before you left. I am every bit as in love with you as I ever was. And I am as sure that this was the life intended for me as I was back then." She looked up at me, and I smiled. "And, everything has changed, meaning that we are better, our love is better than it ever was then. It feels...more...real. I mean, I think back then, I was so overwhelmed by you and you seemed so awed by me. We were...out of balance or something." She met my eyes somewhat shyly. "It made more sense in my head."

"No, I think it makes perfect sense." I looked down at her beautiful face, watched the lights play on her glowing skin. "Bella, I know that the only way I can ever atone for abandoning you is by being here now, by proving my commitment to you. And by doing whatever I need to do to regain your trust...."

She placed three fingers against my lips. "That's just it, Edward. I don't want you to spend our time atoning. I don't expect you to spend your life pleading your case and proving yourself. I admit, my insecurities are not completely gone. In weak moments, I suspect I'll revert to my default fear that you'll leave. But those are my issues to work through. And to the extent you can help me with them, great. But, I've heard you. I believe in your commitment."

I noticed she didn't go as far as to say she trusted me, but I was so overjoyed at what she _did _say that I saw no defeat in her omission.

"You are more forgiving than I deserve, my love." She sighed in exasperation and turned her body so that she was now kneeling between my legs facing me.

"You have to stop that too, Edward. You deserve...everything...as much as any of us. You deserve love. You deserve forgiveness. You deserve happiness. You want to help me get over my fears?"

"Of course I do." I couldn't imagine where she was going with this.

"Then you have to get over your feelings of unworthiness."

I thought for a moment. "Bella, I-"

"I'm serious, Edward. To my way of thinking, as long as you feel unworthy of love and happiness, and as long as you feel you don't deserve my forgiveness, the chance is greater that you'll run again."

I struggled to follow her logic. I thought back to the reasons for leaving her last September. And then it hit me. I left her because I didn't think she was safe in my world. But I also left because I thought she _deserved_ better - a real human life with the possibility of a family. She deserved better...than me. "You are very perceptive, Bella. And you're right." I cupped my hands around her cheeks and drew her to me. I placed a soft kiss on her lips. And then another. And another. Our kisses were filled with compassion and promise.

Throughout our conversation and during our kisses, the object I had been carrying with me for the past few days began to feel as if it was burning a hole in my pocket. I couldn't say what compelled me to retrieve it from its box that first time four days ago. But it was a compulsion, a _feeling_ of rightness. A feeling of _fate?_ And once I had it out, I just couldn't bring myself to put it away. Because it didn't feel like it was mine anymore. Or, at least I didn't want it to be mine anymore. I wanted it to be hers. But it was too soon. _Wasn't it?_ Honestly, it didn't feel too soon for me. Indeed, from the first minute it appeared Bella was going to let us try again, all I could think of was making her mine forever. I never wanted us separated again.

I shifted, and I could feel the edge of the setting press into my thigh. _This night has been so filled with honesty and love and romance. How could there be a better time?_

I drew back from our kisses and took a deep breath. "Bella, there's something I want to say and something I want to ask you. But I need you to listen to me completely before responding. Would that be okay?"

She nodded, biting her lip around a nervous smile. I leaned back so I could reach into my pocket. I kept my hand in my lap as I held my mother's diamond engagement ring between my forefinger and thumb. Occasionally, the colored light would catch one of the facets and reflect onto our clothing. Bella gasped when she saw what was in my hand.

_Dammit, Edward! Too soon!_ However much my head knew this, though, my heart would not relent.

I pushed all my self-doubt away and settled my gaze on Bella's beautiful eyes. "I have existed for one hundred seven years. I have had several lifetimes to learn who I am, what's important to me, and what I need. I have traveled extensively and met all kinds of people. And one thing is patently clear to me. You are the only woman for me, and I need you in my life more than anything in the world. You are my fate. You are the reason Carlisle found me in that hospital. Because there wouldn't be someone for me until you."

I looked down to the ring in my hand and held it up between us.

"This was my mother's engagement ring. It's one of the only things I have that was hers, and for that reason, it is one of my most prized possessions." I looked back up at Bella, who was now worrying repeatedly at her bottom lip. I offered her a small smile and continued. "She would have loved you, Bella, for all the same reasons I do. She would have loved how good you were in the kitchen - that's one of my few memories of her. She used to make cookies all the time for me. I didn't remember that until I spent so much time with you in your kitchen, by the way. I used to love to watch how gracefully and confidently you worked in your kitchen." I sighed. "She would have loved your curiosity and love of books. I love that I can talk with you about anything and you can offer the most interesting and informed opinions. She would have loved your tolerance and accepting nature, a part of you for which I am especially grateful. She would have admired your strength, as I do. You are the strongest and most courageous person I know. And, I remember enough about my mother to know that she would have loved the way you love me. She wanted nothing more for me than to find the woman of my dreams and have a life with her...."

I broke off at the sudden intrusion of Bella's thoughts into my mind: _ohmygodohmygodohmygod_ They ran over and over again in an unbroken loop.

I leaned forward and kissed Bella's cheek. "Sshh, love, it's all right."

_Oh God, Edward_.

"So, Bella, I offer you this ring. I offer it to honor my mother. I offer it to make a promise to you that I will always be yours. And, most of all, I offer it as a symbol of how very much I love and cherish and appreciate you."

The loop of _ohmygods_ started again and I pushed on, unsure what meaning to attribute to it but knowing I had to finish what I started.

I moved to bring my knees underneath me so that I was now kneeling in front of her as she knelt before me. "Isabella Marie Swan, would you please consider making me the happiest man in the world by becoming my wife?"

Her eyes flashed from my eyes to the ring and back again. "Wife?" she finally managed.

"Yes. My wife. My partner in all things. My best friend and my lover. Marry me, Bella."

"Marry?" I noted that her thoughts had nearly stilled altogether.

She looked back down at the ring.

If she could have heard my mind at that moment she would have heard a steady chorus of _pleasesayyespleasesayyes_

"It's beautiful," she finally said. "I love that it was your mother's."

It wasn't a 'yes,' but it also wasn't a 'no.' My mind was nearly exploding with nervous anticipation.

_Oh God. I don't know what to do. I know it _feels_ longer since he's been back but it's only been a month._

I had to let her know. "Bella, I think it's only fair to let you know that I can hear you right now."

Her eyes flashed up to mine, and she took a deep breath. "Edward, your words were so beautiful and so important to me that I have no doubt I would be bawling my eyes out if I could still cry." She smiled at me, and I held my breath. "I...I don't know what to say."

"Say 'yes', Bella, please?"

She reached out and stroked my face again. I leaned into her hand. "I...I'm torn, Edward." I already knew this from her thoughts.

"Can you please tell me what you're thinking and feeling, Bella? I don't want to hear it from your mind, but it's so hard to resist your thoughts right now."

"Okay. Well, I feel too young to get married, but I know that's kinda dumb because I guess I'll never be any older. And, we haven't been back together that long, and while I'm sure about us now - and I really am, Edward, please don't read any doubt into my hesitation here - it feels kind of fast to me. And that makes me worry, because my most immediate experience with marriage, that of my parents, didn't work out too well in part because they got married too young and too soon." She looked down at the ring then.

"I understand everything you're saying, Bella. Do you mind if I say some things in return?" I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to argue her into saying 'yes'.

She grabbed my free hand and squeezed. "Not at all."

"I don't disagree that it's a little fast. I told myself it was too fast before I asked tonight. But I couldn't help but ask because I am so _certain_ that you are what I want and that we are right. I can't imagine what could happen that would make me _any more_ certain. So for me, while I understand that it feels a little fast, I don't need any more time to know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And, while I know this is perhaps old fashioned, I want the world to know you're officially mine and I'm officially yours. So, I want us to be married. Plus, Bella," I lifted her chin so that I could look into her eyes, "don't you feel it? The physical connection between us? I can sense you when you're in another room. I feel pulled to you in every possible way. We're mates, Bella, the strongest possible connection between vampires."

She was already nodding. "I do feel it, Edward. That feeling like being able to anticipate your movements or what you're going to say." I nodded.

After a long while, she pressed up on her knees to bring her face level with mine. She grasped my face in her hands and pulled me in for a kiss. "Edward, I want to say 'yes', but I'm not ready yet. Please don't be upset. I love you with all of my heart. I just need time."

Hard as I tried not to, I had already gathered this from her thoughts. As disappointed as I was, I did note that the only emotion that seemed to be present that could have been responsible for her throwing out her shield was love. I took some solace from that. "I could never be upset with you, Bella, least of all for saying what you feel." I looked down at the ring. "No matter what, Bella, this is yours. It's my promise to you. Please accept it."

She took it into her fingers and moved it back and forth, admiring the way the stones captured and reflected the light. She sat back on her heels. "Hold this for a minute, please?" She handed the ring back to me.

I looked at her with some confusion until she reached around under her hair and unclasped the chain on which her locket hung.

"Would you mind if I wore it around my neck for now, Edward?" she asked shyly.

_God, I love you Isabella!_ "Not at all, Bella. In fact, I love the idea very much."

She held the chain out to me and I slipped the ring down onto it. It came to rest against the locket. It was fitting in a way. Both pieces were symbols of her current and future family and identity.

"May I?" I took the chain from her and leaned into her. She lifted her hair out of the way for me, and I refastened the necklace. It wasn't where I wanted it, but I couldn't deny the incredible wave of pleasure and satisfaction I derived from seeing the ring on her body. _She didn't say 'no'._

She brushed her fingers against the locket and ring where they rested against her chest and looked up at me. "Thank you for asking me, Edward. Promise me you'll ask me again?"

"You just say the word, love."

She nodded with a smile.

She looked so beautiful sitting before me. Wisps of her hair catching on the breeze. The lights gently reflecting off her porcelain skin. And my ring hanging around her neck. I was overcome by the need for her.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers, showing her with my actions everything I had been saying with my words and my declaration. She returned the kiss eagerly, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling herself against me. We both rose to our knees to bring our bodies closer, and soon hands were fumbling to remove coats and shirts. The urgency of our interrupted morning activities returned.

Despite the fact that we had been together one other time, part of me argued that we should wait until we were married. Our first time had been a desperate physical longing to establish a reconnection between us. It had been wonderful, incredible even, but it wasn't the kind of lovemaking that I had ever envisioned wanting to share with my wife. _But, if I told her I wanted to wait, how would it sound to Bella? Would it sound like I was making an ultimatum? "No sex until we're married."_ _Yes. That's exactly how it would sound_.I sighed against her as I lowered her to the plush blanket. I won't do that to Bella. It will be just as special and meaningful whether we wait or not. _And I want her so damn bad._ Not a day had gone by since that afternoon in the forest that I had not thought of how incredible it felt to be so connected to her.

"I want you, Bella," I murmured around open-mouthed kisses on her neck and chest.

"Oh, God, Edward. I want you too."

"Can I please have you, Bella? Right here, with the gift from the sun raining down on us and the stars watching from above?"

"Yes, Edward. Right here. Nowhere could be more perfect."

And with that, we discarded our words and the remainder of our clothing. Everything about this time was soft and slow and so filled with love and acceptance.

I clutched my arms around her shoulders and moved within her again and again as I pressed kisses to her hair and face and lips. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and stroked at my hair and back as she lifted her hips up to meet mine.

Her mind, which had remained open to me from earlier, now ran on a constant loop of _IloveyouEdwardIloveyouEdward_ . Along with her soft moans, her sounds completely filled my...soul. Yes, my soul.

I murmured my love and soft encouragements against her ear as she neared her climax. "Oh God, Edward," she moaned as her body began to milk mine and pulled me over the edge with her with a soft declaration of her name from my lips.

I thought the words I had not yet the ability to speak:_ So good. God, so good. I love you Bella. I love you. I love you. You are my life._

"Oh!" she exclaimed, startling me from my reverie.

I pulled back from her, lifting my body up from hers slightly in case I was hurting her. She squeezed her legs around me to pull me back down firmly against her.

"No, no, Edward! I heard you! I heard you!" _Oh my God! Can you hear me, Edward?_

_Heard me? What does she...? Yes, Bella. I can hear you. You can...hear me, too?_

I lifted my face above her and she was absolutely radiant in her joy. She nodded, but she needn't have, as her mind rung out with _Yes! Yes! Yes!_

_So that means you can hear how much I love you?_

_Yes._

_And it means you can hear how much I desire you?_ I gave a gentle thrust with my hips and she moaned softly.

_Yesss._

_And you can hear that my whole purpose in life is to make you happy?_

_Yes! I can hear you! Wow!_

_Wow, indeed. It's weird having someone inside my head._

_It's weird for me, too!_

Just then my cell phone rang, and I rolled my eyes. My family _knew_ not to call tonight. And their calling could only mean that it was important.

The ring also served to break the spell, and Bella's shield apparently snapped back around her. "It's okay. You should answer it."

I finally pulled away from her body and sorted through our clothing until I found my phone in my coat pocket. "This better be important," I growled.

"It is, Edward. I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but it would be best if you and Bella got back to the house as quickly as you can. Emmett and Rosalie are waiting at the Jeep."

"Carlisle, what's going on?"

"I'd rather explain when you return, Edward. Just hurry."

The worry on Bella's face revealed that she had overheard both sides of the conversation. "What do you think it is?"

"I don't know, love. Don't worry, though. Whatever it is, we'll face it together."

We kissed once more and then hurriedly dressed and gathered our belongings. In fifteen minutes' time, we found Emmett and Rose already in the Jeep with the motor running. They insisted on waiting until we were all back together before discussing the situation, which only exacerbated the anxiety Bella and I were feeling.

"Wait!" Bella exclaimed. "What is that...?" As the Jeep tore out onto the highway, Bella pressed her face against the Jeep window. "That smell?!" She looked back to me and then back to the window, her eyes searching the darkened landscape.

I couldn't see it either. But there was only one thing that could be.

"Jake!"

* * *

I've never seen the Northern Lights myself, although having the chance to do so one day is on my bucket list for sure (things I want to accomplish before kicking the bucket...!). If you search Google Images for Denali Northern Lights or Denali Aurora Borealis, you'll see many great pics of what the lights look like in this region of the world. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and don't mind the cliffie toooo much!

Please, please review!


	14. Chapter 14: Attack

So...there was a very good reason some of you were confused...operator error! operator error!...I posted a chapter out of order. Sorry...but now chapter 14 and 15 are posted correctly and this brings the story up to date with what is posted on Twilighted. Thanks to penguincullen for bringing this to my attention. New chapter will come within a week to ten days (I'm on vakay and not getting much written...). Many thanks for all the great reviews and SM owns!

* * *

BPOV

"Jake!"

I scrambled out of the Jeep and jumped to the ground. Jake was just coming around the side of the house, tying the drawstring on his sweats. He was sweaty and looked exhausted. He looked at me warily for just a moment before breaking into a tired grin. "Hey Bells."

"Hey. What are you doing here?" His face fell a little. "I mean, it's great to see you, but I never expected you to come here."

His face fell further. "I know." He looked up to Carlisle, who was standing on the front steps.

"Why doesn't everyone come in?" Carlisle asked. Rose and Emmett jogged up the steps, while Edward remained at my side.

Just then the wind carried the unmistakable scent of werewolf to my nose. But it wasn't Jake's scent. I turned, looking into the darkness, but not seeing the source of the smell. "There are others here?" I asked, turning back to Jake.

"Yes. A few."

My mind had been working on this when I first saw him in the Jeep. Something wasn't right. Jake wouldn't just come here for a visit. And, if he did, he wouldn't bring others. No one else from the pack would have the faintest desire to see the Cullens.

"What's going on, Jake?"

"Why don't we go in, Bells?"

I huffed. "What is going on, Jacob?" The more no one spoke, the more anxious I became.

Jacob looked up to Carlisle. My eyes followed. Carlisle's expression was somber, compassionate. It didn't ease my mind.

"What the fuck is going on?"

No one spoke for a moment, ratcheting up my anxiety further. My shield apparently snapped at that moment, because I began hearing snippets of Edward's thoughts. It wasn't as solid as what I had heard when we made love, but it was enough to cause me to whirl around and face him. "You know." If I could hear him, I knew he had to be hearing me. And, try as I might, I couldn't keep the anger out of my thoughts. _Whatever it is, Edward, treat me like a fucking adult and tell me._

_You're right. _"He's going to be okay. But Charlie was attacked this morning."

_WHAT?_ "What? How?" I looked between Edward, Carlisle, and Jacob. "Somebody start fucking talking." I felt my fists clenching and unclenching and was overcome with the strongest desire to feel something, anything, getting mangled within my grip. I needed some outlet for the rage boiling through me.

"Bella," Carlisle began as he descended the steps, "Charlie is in the hospital at Forks. He has a number of broken ribs, a few bad lacerations, and his left arm has been broken in several places. He will undergo surgery for that tomorrow."

I stared at Carlisle, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He took a deep breath and Edward took my hand. I looked at Edward, and was momentarily surprised out of my own rage by the malicious hatred rolling off of him. I felt my mouth drop open as I looked between them.

Then it clicked. "Victoria," Carlisle and I said at the same time.

Before they even knew what had happened, I had run in the house, grabbed the first set of keys my hands found, and, seeing what car they went to, got in Rose's beautiful red BMW. I was halfway down the driveway when Jake and Edward appeared next to me. I ignored them, knowing they would only try to stop me.

"Bella!" Edward called. "Bella, please!"

I could hear the worry in his thoughts and I knew I couldn't look at him or his expression would likely stop me in my tracks.

"Love, we need to talk about this. Bella, you can't just…."

I spun the car in a 180 and hit the acceleration. The car shot out in front of me. But Edward kept pace. I rolled my eyes. Under any other scenario, the scene might have been comical.

I noticed the headlights reflecting off of something ahead. _God dammit!_

I screeched the car to halt and felt the back of it fishtail. "Move." I glared out the windshield.

"No Bella. We need to come up with a plan, sweetie."

"I have a plan. Now move." Alice's expression was sympathetic, and her tone was full of understanding.

I felt a wave of calm come over me. "Jasper, don't fucking mess with me right now."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but Alice is right. We need a plan. That's why Alice and I were away from the house. She couldn't see with the wolves here. So we had to get away so Alice could get a read on the situation."

"I already have a plan," I retorted, not wanting to be swayed by his words.

"Okay. What is it?" he asked.

I breathed out a deep sigh. _Okay, so I don't really have a plan. But I have thirty hours to think one up._ I rolled my eyes and looked from Alice to Jasper to Edward, who was standing several feet to the side of the car. They weren't going to let me drive out of here. _Fine._

I grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. Edward stepped up to the door and helped me open it. I looked up at him and smiled, then made to bolt, knowing my newborn strength still gave me an advantage with speed.

I wasn't twenty feet from the car when Edward's arms wrapped around me and took us both roughly to the ground. "Edward! Let me go!"

"It's okay, Bella," he whispered against my hair.

"Edward, _please_." I pushed against his chest and we rolled, the two of us looking like wrestlers on the cold Alaskan ground.

"Sshh, baby, it's alright. Stop. We'll figure this out. Together."

I let out an anguished sob. _Please. Please. Please._ And then the fight left me. I lay there, my fists clutching at Edward's coat, shredding the front of it, wailing against his chest. _Charlie. Oh God._ My words stuttered out between chest-wracking sobs. "My…my fault…my…fault…."

"No, Bella, it's not your fault." Edward continued to murmur and think soothing words. I became aware of the feeling of floating, and realized Edward had picked me up and was running with me back to the house.

When we returned, everyone was standing in the front yard. My eyes settled on Rosalie first. And then my actions hit me. "Oh God, Rosalie. I'm sorry." I spun, my eyes searching for the car just rolling up the driveway. Alice and Jasper returned it for me. My eyes quickly scanned the side I could see. I couldn't make out any damage. I knew that thing was like her baby. I turned back to Rose. "I'm really sorry."

She broke free from Emmett's arm and walked towards me. I held my breath, knowing I deserved whatever she gave me. No one touched her car. She stopped a foot in front of me, then placed her hands on my shoulders. "When we find Victoria, would you please allow me the honor of assisting you in ripping her limb from limb?"

Sluggish with grief and anger, my mind took an extra moment to process her words, so different from anything I had imagined. When I finally understood, I could only nod.

"Nobody, Bella, nobody messes with my family. So don't worry about the car. Although thank you for not turning it into a pretzel around Jasper and Alice."

I choked out a laugh and nodded again. Rose took a step back and turned to face the others. "Okay, so what's the plan for dealing with this bitch once and for all?"

At Carlisle's request, Jacob stepped forward and filled us in on the full details of what had happened that morning. The wolves had been patrolling around my old house. They had been aware of Victoria's presence for several months now and were aware from hearing what Laurent said before he bit me that Victoria had been after me. But then she tricked them. They hadn't yet noticed the additional scents. There were two others with her this morning, all lurking outside of Charlie's house. When the wolves smelled them, two vampires took off into the forest, each going a different direction. The two wolves that had been guarding Charlie took off after them, unknowingly leaving Victoria unattended.

She had apparently ransacked my room first, looking for any clue to my whereabouts. This surprised us because there had seemed no reason for her not to believe the news of my death, seeing how there was even a funeral and all. But other members of the pack found her scent all over the Cullens' house. And then we realized – she smelled my changed scent there, and knew I was a vampire.

Charlie had apparently been asleep when she came into the house. When she didn't find what she needed in my room, she pinned Charlie down in his bed and tried to torture the information out of him. Of course, Charlie told her repeatedly that I was dead. The first time he answered that way, she ripped his shirt open and said, "Strike one," then carved a deep cut into his abdomen with her finger nail. After his third strike, and his third cut, she began breaking ribs, one by one. She crushed his left arm just as the scent of arriving wolves interrupted.

"Tell Bella I'm looking for her. And that I will find her," she apparently hissed as she fled the house, once again escaping the wolves' clutches.

She was calling me out.

The only saving grace in the whole situation was how quick and thorough the wolves were in covering up the true nature of the attack. Jacob was one of the wolves who scared Victoria away. He called 911 immediately to report another bear attack, then gently carried Charlie out into the back yard. One of the others grabbed Charlie's shot gun, making it look like Charlie had been awoken by the bear in the early morning and confronted him in the back yard. Charlie was on so much pain medication that he corroborated the story, allowing himself to be convinced that what he remembered of the actual attack was a drug-induced nightmare. His grief was still pronounced enough that he didn't find that a stretch at all.

I knew it was a good thing that Charlie remained unaware of the presence of the supernatural in the world, but I found little solace in it.

"I'm so sorry, Bells. I promised we would take care of him. And I failed. I'm so sorry," Jacob rasped, roughly batting away a single tear on his cheek.

I walked over to him, ignoring his scent, and took his face gently in my hands. "You didn't do this, Jake. You don't owe me any apology. You saved him. If you hadn't shown up…." Then something occurred to me. "But, why are you here now? Who's watching Charlie? How do you know she won't come back for him? Couldn't you have just told us this by phone?"

"Don't worry about Charlie," Jacob replied quickly, "two of us are outside his hospital door at all times and three others are stationed around the hospital itself."

I nodded, relieved.

I _should be there. It should be _me_ watching out for him_.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind. _I know, love._

I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat as I turned in Edward's arms. _But I can't be there for him, can I? The hospital…it's too full of…._

_Someday you could, but not right now. It wouldn't be a good place for you right now._

Just thinking of Charlie's deep cuts made my throat burn and the venom pool. The fact that my body responded that way to the thought of my own father's blood felt like a hard blow to the stomach and I stepped back, gagging, and bent down with my hands on my knees.

Edward knew what thoughts had affected me so, but Jacob didn't. He rushed to me and put his hands on my sides, needlessly helping Edward keep me on my feet. "Bells?"

"She'll be okay," I heard Edward say as I gulped for air. "She needs to hunt." His words made me recall my desire to hunt before our date earlier. "Jasper, Alice, will you come with me? Let's get her fed so that she can deal with all of this."

I stood up and nodded at Edward. Imploringly, I stared into his eyes. "I promise not to try to run away, but I need to run some of this off. I feel like I'm going crazy right now. So, just, come with me?"

He understood either my words or my thoughts as I heard his and the others' footsteps behind me as I took off into the night. The ripple of green light filtered down through the trees occasionally. Our date, Edward's proposal, the love we shared on the mountain – all seemed like ages ago. I ran and ran, whether trying to outrun my reality or cast off my demons, I don't know. But after a while it seemed to help.

And then I caught the scent of moose. In an instant, I was entirely predator. I was in there somewhere, but I was never more a vampire than I was at that moment.

The poor thing never even saw me coming. Maybe that was for the best.

The blood helped.

As the bloodlust began to recede, I realized Edward, Jasper, and Alice were standing nearby, waiting for me, watching out for me.

I hopped up off the ground in one smooth move and brushed myself as I walked towards them. When I came within several feet of them I stopped and crossed my arms. Taking a couple moments to get myself back together, I said, finally, "Let's get back. I want a plan. Now."

The others nodded, murmuring reassurances that Victoria wouldn't get away with this.

As we ran back, my mind was clearer. The initial fog of rage had worn off, and the blood had heightened the clarity in my mind. That's when it occurred to me: Jacob hadn't answered all of my questions. _Why had he come here?_

When we got back to the house, the yard was empty. We made our way inside and found everyone congregated in the great room. We weren't through the door when I posed my question to Jacob once again.

"We came because…well…."

"Just spit it out, Jake."

"We followed Victoria here."

***

The next two months were torturous.

We waited. And waited. And even searched some. But Victoria didn't show. Couldn't be found.

But we knew she was around. Carlisle picked up on it first. Newspaper articles detailing a few seemingly random disappearances and a number of seemingly unrelated deadly assaults in towns within a 60-mile radius of Denali told us that Victoria was building up her numbers. Alice predicted there would be nine, total, by the time she made her play. There were eight of us and three wolves, so we had the advantage, though it made me feel little better. Someone was bound to get hurt. But there wasn't a single person among us I was willing to see injured trying to protect me.

So, for the time being, none of us went anywhere alone; we always hunted with at least two others.

The guys continued to work with me on my combat skills.

We bought food and clothing for the wolves, who aside from Jake refused to come inside the house with us. In solidarity with his brothers, Jake wouldn't sleep inside the house either.

Word reached us of Charlie's slow but sure recovery, which was the one decent bit of news out of the whole damned situation.

And then, on top of it all, two weeks into the waiting I had to endure another visit from the Denalis.

Edward and Jasper had gone hunting with me. When the three of us returned, I went immediately upstairs to our room to shower and change, only to find Tanya prowling around the room, snooping and touching my things.

"What are you doing in here?" I growled. I simply had no reserve of patience for dealing with Tanya in that moment.

"Oh. Bella. Just waiting for Edward. I wanted to ask him something."

I don't know where the discipline came from. But I managed, even if my voice did sound strained, to very civilly reply, "Edward is downstairs."

"Oh good," she said. And as she brushed by me, she smirked as her eyes glanced down at my clothing, dirty and torn from the hunt.

And that smirk did bad things to me.

All at once I heard Edward, loud and clear. And then I began hearing the others too. It was like people calling into a conference call, one by one announcing their presence in my mind. After Edward, Tanya's thoughts connected next, I guess because she was closest to me.

…_believe her! This?_ This_ is what Edward is choosing over _me?_ She can't even fucking hunt without making a complete mess of herself. And that pathetic lingerie drawer – if I can even call it that! I mean, hello, grow up, give a man something more than some plain cotton panties for God's sakes. I mean, Edward has needs. _I_ could fulfill his needs better than she ever could…._

Like that moose, she never saw me coming.

I took her to the ground. Hard. The impact of our bodies cracked the hard wood beneath us.

Tanya shrieked and tried to flip out from underneath of me, but I was stronger, particularly fueled by jealousy and rage. "Get the fuck off me, you crazy bitch!" she howled.

Some part of my mind knew Edward would have heard Tanya's thoughts too. And since I could hear him, I knew he could hear me. And certainly everyone heard the crash we made as we hit the floor. I was vaguely aware of the sound of running feet.

As I choked out my warning through gritted teeth, my head throbbed with the pain of the multitude of voices at ungodly volumes all clamoring for attention at once in my mind. "I. Won't. Say. This. Again. Edward. Is. Mine. My. Mate. Get. It. Through. Your. Thick. Fucking. Skull."

Funneling all the gentleness I had at my disposal in that moment, I released one hand from her shoulder and fished my necklace out from under my sweater. Leaning over her, I dangled the necklace in front of her face. I heard her gasp in recognition. I shook the necklace, causing the Cullen crest charm and Edward's ring to jingle together. "_Mine_."

By then, there were nearly a dozen vampires crowding the third floor landing. The combined sound of their thoughts and their actual voices was deafening.

Having released my grip some, Tanya was able to throw me off and flipped gracefully from the floor. I landed as gracefully in the doorway to our room.

Tanya hissed at me, half in a crouched position. She looked like she was going to say something, then thought better of it. A cruel smile darkened her face and then she stood and pushed through the crowd, leaving the hallway and then the house altogether.

I slammed my hands over my ears, moaning at the intensity of the voices. "So loud," I managed.

Edward understood immediately. He scooped me up and ordered everyone out of the way, explaining to everyone and no one in particular that I currently possessed his full power and was drowning in the sound of a dozen beings' thoughts.

I only became fully aware again somewhere out in the woods. Then there were just my thoughts, and Edward's, and, faintly, Emmett's, who had apparently come along for our safety but remained some distance away.

It took two hours before I was calm enough that I could no longer hear Emmett's thoughts. But I managed to hang on to Edward's for the rest of that day before my shield collapsed around me again.

If my fight with Tanya wasn't reason enough, the wolves' presence strained our relationship with the Denali coven even further. The wolves had killed Laurent, whom Irina loved. While Eleazar was sympathetic to our cause and wanted to help, the others thought their first loyalties should stand with Irina, who was irate at our alliance with the wolves.

And so, we waited.

And then, one day, Victoria made her move.

It was a brilliant move on her part, really. Because she never could have gotten through the front door of our house, or even stepped a foot onto our property without someone knowing. So she didn't even try.

Her 'invitation' around in the mail on a Wednesday.

The thick stack of mail and magazines sat rubber-banded on the front steps. I had stepped out onto the front porch for a moment of solitude, reassuring Edward that I would be fine alone for a few minutes. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of wolf on the paper and realized Jake must have brought it in for us on his way back from patrolling. I was eager to see what magazines were in the bundle that I might be able to lose myself in for a few moments. _Anything to make time pass quicker_, I thought.

And there, in the middle of the pile, was a plain white envelope with my first name typed on it. Frowning, I picked it up and ripped it open, then slid out the single sheet of paper that read as follows:

_Dear Bella:_

_Won't you come out and play with me?_

_Your daddy was so much fun to play with. I'd like to tell you all about it._

_And if you don't come, I guess I'll just have to play with the three girls lying on the floor in front of me. Brown-haired, brown-eyed teenage girls. I chose them special, because they all reminded me of you. But I'd rather play with you._

_Friday night._

And then she listed an address I wasn't familiar with.

Realizing what this was, and what I could do with it, I folded it quickly and stuffed the paper and torn envelope into my jeans pocket.

Just as I finished, I heard the sound of the door opening and Edward stepped out onto the porch. I heard his breath catch and looked up at him, and was surprised to find a strange look on his face as he observed the mail in my lap.

I frowned at his expression, not understanding it, and then gestured at the pile. "I was just looking for a magazine to read."

"Find anything?" he asked, although his voice sounded odd to me.

I held up the 'Cosmo'. "Apparently I can make this my sexiest summer," I quipped, referencing one of the taglines on the magazine.

He shook his head and laughed as he sat down next to me. He pulled the pile of mail off of my lap and sat it on the far side of him. Then he leaned towards me and kissed me.

I felt horribly guilty, as the only thought running through my mind was a constant plea with myself: _Don't throw out your shield. Don't throw out your shield._

He smiled at me as he pulled away several moments later. He scooped up the mail and stood. "Are you ready to come back in? Or did you want to stay out here a little longer?"

I needed time to think. "Um, I think I'll just read for a while," I replied as I motioned for the "Cosmo'. "Nothing like some good mindless fun," I joked as I took the magazine from his hand.

He nodded, then tucked the mail tighter under his arm. "Okay, love." He stepped in through the door, then popped his head back out. "I love you, Bella."

I looked up and offered him a small smile. "I love you too."

He smiled then shut the door.

His final words, cherished though they were, increased my feeling of guilt in that moment.

Because, somehow, for the next two days, I was going to have to work hard to keep my thoughts away from Edward.

* * *

Please review!


	15. Chapter 15: The Calm Before the Storm

So, I know some folks were a little annoyed with Bella in the last chapter. Let's see what you think about how things unfold now...

SM owns!

* * *

APOV

"Oh, for Pete's sake!"

"What is it, darlin'?" Jasper asked, slowing to a walk as we returned from our hunt. We had managed to convince Rosalie and Emmett that we didn't need a third to accompany us out so that we could finally have some _alone_ time.

"Do those two _never_ learn? I mean, _really_."

"Uh, Alice? Clueless over here."

I stopped, hands on my hips in frustration, and looked at him. Jasper had a half-amused, half-concerned look on his face. The breeze caught his blond curls and dropped them down over one eye. He was ruggedly beautiful and I loved him more than my life.

"Sorry. Bella and Edward."

"Ah. And what have they failed to learn this time?"

I reached up and kissed him, allowing myself to melt against his strong chest for a few moments. "Come on. Let's get back and I'll let _them_ explain it. If some people would just freakin' _talk_ to each other," I muttered as I began running again. I heard Jasper right behind me, chuckling.

When the house came into view, I saw Bella sitting on the front steps reading. I made a beeline for her and heard Jasper in a low sing-song voice behind me, "Somebody's in trouble." I smiled through my frustration – loving as always his ability to cheer me, with or without his power.

I came to a stop right in front of her. "Bella Swan!"

She had seen me coming, of course, but still seem startled by the anger in my voice. She was also acting a little dodgy. _To be expected_.

"McCarty," she said, finally.

"What?"

"Bella McCarty."

I was in no mood for sarcasm, nor was I going to allow myself to be diverted from the conversation that needed to happen, and needed to happen right now.

I huffed. "Edward! Get your butt out here right now!" I called, knowing he would easily hear me.

I heard Emmett chuckle from his room on the second floor. "Oh shit! Alice sounds pissed at Eddie. We gotta see this. Come on, Rosie."

A moment later, Edward stepped out the front door, a confused look on his face. "Alice?"

Unused to hearing me raise my voice to Edward, the rest of the family soon filed out after him. Everyone was gathered on the porch, and Bella remained sitting on the steps, the Cosmo magazine now forgotten beside her.

I wiggled my finger back and forth between the two offending parties. "The two of you have some things to share with each other and the rest of us."

Bella rose and looked over her shoulder at Edward. Edward looked back at her. Neither looked confused any longer. But neither was saying anything either. It only made me more annoyed.

"Alice, what is going on, honey?" Esme, who was still confused, finally asked.

"Well, I _could_ tell you, Esme. But it really should come from these two, who don't seem to be able to stop making the same _damn_ mistakes over and over again."

"Alice," Carlisle strode down the steps to me, "we're all under a lot of pressure, I know, but…."

"No, she's right, Carlisle."

I followed the sound of the voice to Bella's face. She looked pained, torn.

"I guess I forgot about you, there, for a minute," she began sheepishly, her voice full of guilt and hinting at despair. "I just…."

"Bella, what is it? What's going on?" Edward said as he came down to stand in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to…lie, or…keep it from you. I just…wanted to try to…keep everyone safe. I realize it was stupid and—"

Knowing what she had been planning to do and hearing her words made me remember her actions in Phoenix when she managed to escape to the ballet studio on her own. It was just a part of Bella's nature to be willing to sacrifice herself to protect the people she loved. I could hardly fault her for that, and much of my frustration and annoyance faded away. I reached for and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Bella, love, I don't understand," Edward interrupted.

She nodded, "I know," and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the folded envelope and slipped the paper from it. She unfolded it and presented it to Edward. "I just thought…," she whispered.

Edward took the paper and read.

"You might as well read it out loud," she whispered again.

So he did. _"Dear Bella: Won't you come out and play with me? Your daddy was so much fun to play with. I'd like to tell you all about it. And if you don't come, I guess I'll just have to play with the three girls lying on the floor in front of me. Brown-haired, brown-eyed teenage girls. I chose them special, because they all reminded me of you. But I'd rather play with you. Friday night."_

Alarmed murmurings slipped from everyone's lips, but the buzz of energy remained centered around Bella and Edward, who were now staring at one another.

"You….What?...Were going to…," Edward's tone rose as he figured it out, "go _alone?_"

"Edward, I—"

"Jesus, Bella!"

"Edward—"

I could see Edward's worry letting his mouth get away from him, but I decided it served him right, so I didn't interrupt.

"No, Bella. No! You can't just…," he crumpled the paper in his fist and looked down, muttering to himself, "I knew it. I knew it was the right thing."

"I'm sorry, Edward….Wait. What? What are you talking about?"

"What?" he asked, paying attention again.

Jacob joined the group then but no one really acknowledged his presence.

Bella continued to press. "You said you knew something was the right thing. What were you talking about?"

Bella took a step toward Edward and he took a step back. It would have been amusing if the situation wasn't so deadly. We had just over 48 hours to deal with Victoria's 'invitation,' and these two needed to work their shit out _now_ so we could get on with the planning.

_Come on, Edward. Learn. Talk. Moment of truth time, _I warned mentally. He glanced at me, down at the ground, and then looked back to Bella.

"Oh, I…_shit_."

Rosalie huffed from her place on the porch. "Would anyone like to fill the rest of us in on the drama here?"

Edward continued on, ignoring Rosalie's comment, and finally replied to Bella. He held the paper in his hand up weakly. "This isn't the first of these we've gotten."

Bella looked from the paper to Edward's face and back again. Jasper put his hand on my arm and urged me to take a step back. I looked over my shoulder at him and his face had grown serious; his body was on alert. His demeanor told me not only that he suspected Bella was upset, but that he could _feel_ it, which meant only one thing: Bella was so upset that she had again thrown her shield out.

I dropped her hand and took a step back as Jasper moved forward. "Bella," he began, "don't be too upset with Edward. We needed to try to better determine what we were dealing with. When we received the first letter we scouted it out and it was a ruse. Then—"

_Oh my God, Jasper knew?_

"You…you knew too?" Bella's eyes moved from Jasper and raked across the gathered group. "Who else? Did all of you?" She was visibly shaking now, trying to restrain her anger.

Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and I all shook our heads 'no.' Bella glared at Jacob when he didn't answer either way, confirming to her that he knew. Jacob's glare was reserved for Edward.

"Only Edward, Jasper, Jacob, and I knew, Bella," Carlisle began. "Our intent was not to deceive you. When the first letter arrived, you were out hunting. The letter demanded your immediate presence. The four of us went with the other wolves and there was no one there. Jasper suspected it was a ploy to determine our numbers and capabilities. Luckily the wolves hung back, and we don't think Victoria knows about them. The second letter was the same. So we just decided it was better not to alarm you with what were clearly meant to inflict stress and anxiety."

"How many?" Bella hissed.

"How many?" Carlisle asked, uncertain of her meaning.

"How many letters?"

"This is the fourth one," Edward interjected quietly.

"Fourth? Dammit, Edward. I told you keeping it from her was a bad idea," Jacob fumed. "I need to fill the others in. I'll be back." He turned to go, then stepped back. "I'm sorry, Bella." She didn't respond at all, so he left.

Bella's eyes flashed from Carlisle to Edward. For a newborn, her restraint really was amazing. With Jacob's departure, I started getting flashes of her deciding to run away in frustration and betrayal, or slap Edward in the face, or turn around and karate-chop the porch railing, but she restrained herself from each of these methods of releasing her apparently overwhelming emotions.

"No others have threatened human lives before," he added.

"This is also a much more remote location, Bella, which makes me think this is the real deal. There's no way she would have risked the kind of confrontation she seems to be planning in the other locations she indicated," Jasper offered. "I think we should take this one seriously," he said as he looked around the group.

Bella closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Once. Twice. Three times.

Then she turned and began walking away.

"Bella?" Edward called.

Without turning back, she replied over her shoulder. "I need some space, Edward. Leave me alone."

I smacked Jasper's bicep. I would have some words with him later.

"Ow!" He looked at me in confusion.

"Boys suck," I proclaimed as I walked after Bella, jogging to catch up.

I heard two other pairs of feet behind me and soon Esme and Rose had caught up. We reached the side of the river when Bella finally stopped running and sat down on a large rock. We all gathered around her.

"I know none of you knew," she said, finally breaking the silence. "Just so you know, I can hear your thoughts right now. Sorry."

She sat, her palms covering her ears, and rocked gently back and forth.

"I'm so scared," she finally admitted.

Esme settled on the rock next to Bella. "I know, dear. I think we are all afraid, at least a little. None of us want to fight. But we will. And though they should have told us, they meant well."

Bella offered a small smile to Esme but didn't reply.

Finally, Rosalie chimed in. "Edward was an overprotective ass for not telling you about the letters."

Bella stared at Rose for a long minute, and when she replied it was clear she was responding to Rosalie's thoughts, not just her vocalized comment. "I know, Rosalie, and that's part of why I'm so angry right now."

"Rose?" I asked, seeking clarification.

But Bella responded. "Rosalie was just pointing out that I'm as much to blame as Edward. I found the letter and kept it from him. So what I did was no better."

I cut my eyes at Rose, trying to warn her. I wanted to try to get Bella calmed down, not upset again. But Rose glared right back at me.

"It's just that…."

"What, Bella?" I asked.

She looked up at me. "It's just that you all have been together for so long. And this is all so new to me. So when…when things are kept from me this way…it just makes me feel…like I'm a burden, like I'm too fragile to handle the situation, or that I can't contribute like all of you can."

"Bella," Esme scolded gently, "you could never be a burden. You can hear our thoughts – have you heard us think of you that way?"

Bella shook her head.

"Were you really planning to try to handle Victoria on your own?" Rose quietly changed the subject.

"No. Yes. I don't know. I had literally just found the letter a half hour before Alice got back and started this whole thing." She looked at me. "That didn't come out right. You didn't start this—"

"I understand, Bella. It's okay."

"No, it's not. In fact, you did us a huge favor. Thanks, Alice. You're right. We do keep making the same mistakes over and over." I noticed she was fingering the engagement ring that hung around her neck. We were all aware that Edward had proposed. And for the most part we understood her hesitation. It was clear that she loved him and had accepted him back into her life. But it had only been just over three months since her change, since we returned to her life. I, for one, couldn't have been happier with Edward's decision to throw caution to the wind and ask her. But right now, her thoughts were troubling me.

"Bella?"

She looked at me. "Do you think we can really make it? As a couple, I mean? It just seems like there's always something…," she trailed off.

Esme clasped her hand. "Bella, you two are so young. And you really haven't been together that long. Mistakes are to be expected. They're how you will grow. Together. But it will only work if you talk to one another, if you work, together, to learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. But you and Edward…I have no doubts about the two of you…I've seen few people who seem to complement and complete one another the way you two do."

"I agree, Bella. Every course I see has the two of you ending up together. It's fated."

She took a deep breath and nodded, letting the chain with the ring fall back inside her shirt. "We should get back," she said as she rose.

Bella seemed to be feeling better as we walked back. We joked about whether we should make the boys pay for keeping the letters from us, joking about what we could get out of them for apologies and how we could play this to our favor. Only Emmett hadn't known, but Rose seemed to think there must be something else she could make him pay for. It was just fun girl banter to try to distract us from the looming crisis.

Just as we stepped through the tree line off the side of the house, Bella made a weird groaning noise and said, "I feel…," before trailing off.

Rosalie and Esme didn't notice and continued walking. The boys had heard our approach and had gathered in front of the house. Their postures gave away their knowledge that some groveling would likely be in order. It was endearing, really.

I kept waiting for Bella to finish her sentence, and then I turned to ask her what she was going to say. "Bella?" She was standing stone still, eyes closed, a blank look on her face. _Oh God!_ "_Bella?_"

The alarm in my voice and thoughts alerted Edward, who was by my side in seconds. The others followed closely behind him and soon we were circled around her.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me?" Edward called, his voice in a low panic.

"Can you hear her, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

Edward concentrated for a minute. "No. Jasper?"

"I can't feel her."

"Let's get her back to the house," Carlisle suggested. "I'm calling Eleazar. He might be able to help." Edward gently scooped Bella into his arms, whispering all along what was happening to her in case she still had access to some level of consciousness. "Emmett, Rosalie," Carlisle continued, "go capture something small for Bella. Maybe blood will help." They took off, and the rest of us trailed after Edward as he carried Bella's small, still frame.

"God, it's like she's sleeping," he said, his voice full of pain. "How is this possible, Carlisle?"

"I don't know, son. We'll figure it out, though, I promise." Edward laid Bella on the couch. And we all stood around uselessly until Eleazar's car arrived seven minutes later.

Eleazar soon stood over Bella and was just as mystified as the rest of us. We told him precisely what had been going on before her apparent blackout, but he couldn't deduce anything from that information.

Emmett and Rosalie returned with a small fox a few minutes later. Rosalie handed it to Edward who sliced into the jugular with his teeth before placing the animal at Bella's mouth. The blood pooled and ran down her chin. She didn't respond to it at all.

BPOV

One minute I was laughing as Rosalie concocted flimsy rationales for teasing Emmett and making him grovel at her feet, the next minute I felt…weird. I felt a little disoriented, as if things momentarily slipped out of focus, or as if overcome by a sense of déjà vu.

Then everything went dark.

I was walking through a dark field, trying to be as quiet as possible, straining to listen for any sound that might give away their position.

_Their? Their, who?_

My family was there, and the wolves too, and we were all looking. I knew we had to find something, and fast. But I couldn't remember what it was, or why we had to find it.

Jacob stepped in some mud and laughed, reminding me of when we used to make mud pies when I was a girl. And how I was different from other girls because I didn't mind getting dirty. He kept going on and on about the things that were similar to or different about me compared to other girls. And I was getting annoyed, because we were supposed to be quiet. We were trying to listen, and not be heard. But Jacob just kept going on and on about these other girls.

Suddenly I was wearing my blue prom dress. I was standing in front of a mirror in a non-descript room. It appeared to be some sort of a wooden cabin. And I realized I was in a dank basement. I looked back to the mirror. There I stood. An average teenage girl, brown hair, brown eyes. Then I noticed there were three of me, of us, all wearing my blue prom dress. And we were all crying because we couldn't get out of the basement. And it was cold and wet.

We were very thirsty. I was very thirsty. I couldn't tell whether I craved water or blood, though, and suddenly my mouth was overwhelmed with the wet taste of blood, but it seemed so far away. I decided I was imagining it.

Then one of the girls was bleeding badly. She had been trying to hammer with something at the wooden door and had accidentally smashed her fingers and cut her hand. The blood was running down her arm. And all of a sudden it felt urgent to get to her…before…before someone else…did.

But she was okay for right now. They wouldn't be back until the morning. And I only hoped they brought water. Because I was so thirsty.

I was suddenly overcome with the fervent belief that if I got there before the morning, I could not only get them the water they needed, but I could get them out of that dank basement. And they would be okay.

I sat up with a gasp, completely unaware of my surroundings. I flipped off the couch and fell into a crouch in front of the door. The light momentarily blinded me, so opposite was it to the pitch darkness of the cabin's basement. I was panting and swallowing at the blood that was unexpectedly pooled at the back of my throat.

I was overcome by the number of voices inside my head, and was interested in a detached sort of way in the fact that I was able to make a decision for the voices to go away, and they did. Somewhere my brain determined that to be important, but I couldn't think on it right then.

I became aware of someone calling my name. I focused and saw Edward standing in front of me, hands raised in the universal sign of peace. The scene was reminiscent of the moment I awoke from the change.

"Edward?"

"Bella?"

"What happened?" we both asked at the same time.

"I…," I surveyed the group, all looking at me with expectant expressions. "This is going to sound crazy, but I think I had a dream."

The next two hours involved an intense moment-by-moment analysis of my state of mind before and during my dream state and a precise retelling and analysis of the dream itself. They were two separate issues, and both needed our understanding.

The conversation first focused on the dream state, which Eleazar quickly pronounced as another manifestation of my powers. My shield was not only wide open at the time, but I had taken on at least Edward's power because I recalled hearing everyone's thoughts. And if my shield was open to Edward, then it was open to Alice too. That connection was important to our thinking about the dream itself, but it still didn't explain why I had seemingly fallen into a dream-like state of unconsciousness – I was out for eight minutes – while Alice would generally only lose consciousness for seconds, and never became completely unconscious.

Eleazar began theorizing on my powers while I mulled over the situation in its entirety. I was half listening to Eleazar as he pronounced me not only a shield but a mimic. Apparently I would be able to tap into the powers of anyone inside of my shield while they were in it, essentially able to mimic their powers while our minds were connected inside my shield. He believed once I obtained greater control over my shield, I would be able to not only expand or contract it at will, but I would also be able to control if, when, or how long I tapped into others' powers.

It was disconcerting to know that I might be this out of control again, but something else about the dream had bothered me. As I sorted through thoughts and theories and memories, it finally came to me.

"The dream is about the future. Like Alice's. But different too."

"What do you mean, Bella?" Eleazar asked. "What makes you say this?"

"Because…this is going to sound crazy too," I hedged.

"Whatever it is, Bella. It's okay. We'll believe you. And we'll work through it," Edward reassured, all thoughts of our earlier fight temporarily forgotten.

"When I was…human…I used to have dreams. And then they would come true. It never happened until I met all of you. But afterwards, it happened several times."

"Like what, Bella? Can you give us some examples?" Carlisle urged gently.

As my memory led me to the very first dream that ever came true, I shuddered. I really didn't want to bring this up now. I looked to Edward's face and willed him to understand. "Well, I didn't understand what I was dreaming at the time, for any of these dreams, really. But the very first time it happened I dreamed of the day Edward left me in the forest." Edward blanched and I reached for his hand and squeezed. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and offered me a tight smile. "Go on, love, it's okay."

"I had that dream at the very beginning of our relationship. Um, I also dreamed about Jacob turning into a wolf. I saw him phase. Even saw what color he was. That was the day I went out to First Beach with Mike and the others and got Jacob to tell me the Quileute legends." I thought more about that dream. "In that same dream, Edward was a vampire – except he had fangs," I looked at Edward sheepishly, "and Edward and Jacob, or the vampire and the wolf, were bitter enemies." That was the dream that made me do research on vampires, now that I think of it. I didn't actually find out what Edward was for another couple days, and Jacob didn't transform into a wolf for almost a year."

"Future dreams precognition," Carlisle stated to Eleazar, who nodded.

"Yes. But since you don't sleep, Bella, that particular power doesn't have an obvious way to manifest. It may be that you tapped into Alice's power but it was expressed in the way your mind previously communicated your precognition – through a dream-like state."

"Bella's ability to control her shield has been growing, Eleazar. Do you think the key, for now at least, is for her to try to keep Alice outside of her shield? Given all that is going on, the last thing Bella needs is to lose consciousness, even if only for a few minutes."

"Hmm. I should say so."

I felt Edward's hand cup my chin and his thumb rub my lower lip, pulling it from my teeth. I hadn't realized that I was chewing on my bottom lip as I listened to the conversation, but now felt the rawness. I looked over at him while Eleazar and Carlisle continued talking. "I'm sorry," I mouthed.

"I'm sorry, too," he mouthed back.

I smiled at our silent conversation. Just then, the memory of my earlier ability to shut out the voices on command came back to me. I concentrated for just a moment on throwing my shield out around Edward, visualizing a clear bubble surrounding the pair of us. I heard him instantly and smiled.

_I did it! Can you hear me, Edward? I decided to open my shield and then it just happened and I can hear you!_

_You are amazing, love. I'm very proud of you. And I truly am sorry._

_I know. Let's just…can we just…no more secrets, okay?_

_No more secrets._

I concentrated again and visualized 'plugging into' Edward's power. Instantly, the voices of the others were present in my mind.

For several minutes I concentrated on expanding my shield using the visualization technique that Edward and I had been working on. If I visualized the shield as a smoke or a vapor, I found I could slink it around Alice and keep her on the outside. I played with this for a few more minutes and soon found that I had more control over my shield and mimicry than ever before. The relief that brought me was enormous – the last thing I wanted was to be a liability on Friday night.

The discussion about my powers largely resolved, we moved on to the dream itself. And while things had seemed confusing and disorienting while dreaming, the meaning of the dream seemed quite clear when we discussed it. The three look-alikes that Victoria mentioned in her letter were being held in a cabin basement somewhere nearby and, if we went one evening before Friday, we would find them unguarded. Emmett immediately questioned why they would be so left, but Jasper was quick to point out that Victoria was likely the only one among her group capable of guarding them given the newborns' bloodlust, and that would tie her down to the cabin. Recent intelligence didn't support the idea of Victoria staying in one place for very long at any one time.

"May I see Victoria's letter?" Carlisle handed Victoria's most recent letter to Eleazar, who read it quickly. "This can't be right."

"What is it?" Carlisle asked.

"This address…."

"What about it, Eleazar? Are you familiar with it? All we've deduced so far is that it is north of here, southeast of Anderson."

"Yes. I don't know how to say this," he said, clearly troubled.

The suspense was killing me so without hardly thinking about it I tapped into Edward's power and heard what was troubling Eleazar: the property in question belonged to Tanya.

I stood up, defensive, my eyes narrowed on Eleazar. Edward rose next to me, aware of the reason behind my actions. "Listen to him, Bella. He doesn't know anymore than that. Listen to him, and judge for yourself whether he can be trusted."

Eleazar was overwhelmed by the possibility that Tanya had any hand in Victoria's actions against our family. I felt bad for compounding his sense of betrayal and disloyalty with a sense of guilt, but I couldn't help it. And then I pictured Tanya's face after our fight upstairs – the dark sneering smile she flashed as she wordlessly strutted out of the house. I knew in my gut that it was true. But Edward was right, this was as much of a surprise to Eleazar as to us.

I relaxed my posture and turned into Edward's arm, so very weary from the months of this hanging over our heads.

"It's apparent I have some things to put in order in my own house, Carlisle," Eleazar said angrily as he rose. He handed the letter back to Carlisle and took a deep breath. "You can absolutely expect my assistance in resolving this matter with this Victoria. And I will determine Tanya's role and what she knows. I'll be in touch later today, old friend."

"Thank you, Eleazar." Carlisle shook his hand as Eleazar walked around him and then quickly left.

Everyone seemed as loose ends after Eleazar's departure. It felt impossible that it was only two o'clock in the afternoon. The day seemed to be going on forever. And each passing hour brought another complication. I needed something positive to focus on. I could tell from the others' thoughts that they were equally on edge.

Suddenly it occurred to me what to do. _Not_ because it would make everyone happy. And _not_ because it would serve as a pleasant distraction from our situation. But…because…it was time. And I was ready.

I turned to Edward, throwing him off balance with the force of my grip on his biceps. He righted himself and looked at me with one raised eyebrow.

"Ask me again," I pleaded, a small smile growing into a larger grin on my face.

"What?"

I raised my eyebrows suggestively. "Edward. Ask me again."

"Ask…you mean…?"

I dropped my hands from his arms and slid them around his waist, hugging him to me.

Then Alice started jumping up and down and clapping.

I felt Edward's chuckle shake his body, and then he slid his hands up underneath my hair and unhooked the clasp. "Here, Bella? Now?" he whispered against my ear.

"Right now," I whispered into his chest. "I don't want to waste another minute."

Edward took a step back from my body and lowered himself down onto one knee.

I was aware of the others around us. I vaguely heard Esme gasp and saw Jasper smile as Alice bounced beside him.

But most of my senses were engaged by the beautiful, kind, loving man kneeling in front of me, offering me his heart, his name, and his hand.

"I can't promise to be perfect, Bella, and I can't promise to never make a mistake. But I can promise that I will love you like no other from now until the end of time, and that your happiness will be the most important thing to me, and that we will be partners in all things. You gave me back my heart and my humanity, and taught me to be the man and not the monster. I am grateful beyond words that we found each other. It would give me the greatest joy if you would marry me and become my wife." He held the ring up to me, the joy so clearly evident on his face nearly heartbreaking in its intensity.

If I was capable of crying, I had no doubt my face would be covered with tears of joy.

I smiled at him as I took a deep breath. "Nothing could make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you, Edward. Yes."

"Yes?" he beamed.

"Yes," I affirmed, and his eyes never left mine as he slipped the ring on my finger.

The next thing I knew my feet were off the ground and Edward was spinning me and laughing and pressing kisses everywhere he could reach. Alice was already chattering about wedding plans as the rest of the family applauded and congratulated us. For a few precious moments there was nothing else in the world except for these intense feelings of peace and happiness in which we all shared.

We spent the rest of the afternoon secluded in our room talking and making amends and loving each other and dreaming about the future. Those few hours of togetherness were restorative, filling us both back up so that we would be able to face the looming challenge.

I was therefore in a much better frame of mind when Eleazar returned around nine o'clock that evening. Though I still found the profusion of voices in my mind to be uncomfortable, it was a very good thing I had opened my shield before heading downstairs to determine that Tanya – indeed, Eleazar's whole coven – awaited us in the great room. It was a full fifteen minutes before I could truthfully promise Edward that I would take no action against her. Though I could not honestly promise to be civil. He found no fault in that.

When we were all assembled, Eleazar spoke first. His voice was gruff and solemn. "Carlisle, I would like to beg the forgiveness of your entire coven. We have not been the friends we should have been to you, and for that there is no excuse. We would like to offer our full assistance in defending you against the threat that this Victoria and her army pose. We will help you in any way that you deem appropriate. I hope that you will consider our long history of amity and, please, tell me that we are not too late to make amends." Eleazar bowed slightly at the waist. The rest of his coven stood with their eyes to the floor, clearly shamed. A quick read of their thoughts revealed the major dressing down Eleazar had given the entire coven, but Tanya especially.

I had never seen Carlisle's face look the way it did just then. Usually his countenance was so open and friendly and warm. At that moment, it looked fierce, commanding even. He looked like the powerful creature he was. "Eleazar, your words hearten me and give me comfort. There are not many of us who share the lifestyle we have chosen to pursue, and the friendship of your entire family has been important to us for a very long time. If you can assure me that none among you mean any of my coven any harm, nor will they play any role in bringing harm to my family, I can readily accept your apology and your offer of assistance."

Eleazar nodded, than with an angered growl, Eleazar ordered Tanya to step forward. Gone was Tanya's haughtiness and regal bearing. The vampire that stood before us appeared haggard, beaten down. I was shocked to see two silvery bite-shaped marks on her neck.

Her voice cracked when she tried to speak the first time. "I…I'm…There is no excuse for my disloyalty to my coven or to yours. I let my pride and my arrogance twist my judgment, and all I can do is tell you how very sorry I am and that I will do anything in my power to try to regain your trust."

Her words were revolting to me, but her thoughts revealed her sincerity. It was still hard to swallow. Luckily, I wasn't the only one questioning her, so the doubt didn't have to come from me.

"Why in the hell would we trust you now?" Rosalie spat. Emmett nodded fiercely beside her. "You clearly have been working with Victoria. You expect us to believe you won't turn around and stab us in the back?"

"I wouldn't…," she began, her voice weak, pleading.

"You have my word," Eleazar interrupted. "Tanya is aware that it is against vampire law to kill or assist in the killing of another vampire without provocation. She is also aware that it is against vampire law to recklessly kill humans in a manner that could attract attention to us, as Victoria has been doing these past weeks. In conspiring with Victoria in these things, Tanya has opened herself up to these accusations. I have made it clear to her that should her behavior give me even the slightest doubt in her loyalty and obedience to me, I will immediately turn her over to the Volturi for trial on these matters."

Tanya's eyes flickered to the floor as Eleazar spoke. The air was thick with tension. Soon, everyone's eyes settled on me as the most aggrieved party. I opened up my shield, taking my time to survey the minds of each of the Denali vampires. Through their thoughts, I saw Eleazar ambushing Tanya as she entered their home. He had her pinned to the floor, Kate assisting with her shocking power. It was the scars of Eleazar's teeth on her neck. I winced as their collective thoughts revealed her pleading her unrequited affection for Edward as a motivation and felt Edward take my hand. It gave me strength. She had admitted to Eleazar that she had encountered a pair of newborns hunting in the woods and followed them back to what turned out to be Victoria's hideout at that time. Victoria made to flee, but Tanya gained her trust by proclaiming her hatred of me, convincing Victoria that the enemy of her enemy was her friend. Eleazar had come very close to ending Tanya's life for the shame he felt she brought on him. She had begged for his reprieve.

He had granted it on two conditions. First, she was to continue her alliance with Victoria, except now she would work to manipulate the situation to our benefit from the inside. Second, even the slightest instance of disloyalty or disobedience would place her life in jeopardy once again with no chance for reprieve.

When I was finally satisfied with what I had heard, I gave a weak smile to Edward. Then I looked to Carlisle and offered a tight nod.

_Are you sure you're comfortable with this, Bella?_ he asked.

I nodded again and he sighed. "We accept, Eleazar." Eleazar bowed in thanks. "Now," Carlisle continued, "perhaps we could sit and learn what Tanya knows and how she might be able to help."

Soon we were all gathered around the great room. Edward had the wolves gather outside within hearing distance of the conversation – we didn't want to shove them in the Denalis' faces after having achieved accord but they needed to be in the loop.

Of necessity, Tanya was at the center of the conversation. She immediately worked to try to regain our trust. "Victoria's power is to sense means of escape. She has a sixth sense about traps and ambushes. But she trusts me…I was…very convincing in expressing my…," she looked sheepishly down at the floor, "my anger at you. Um, she knows about Alice's power, as I think you know," we all nodded, "so I was thinking that I should tell her Alice had a vision that will lead you all to rescue the girls tomorrow night. You could actually go in and complete the rescue, and then I could tell her you're actually doing it two hours later. When she arrives with her followers, you could surround her."

"How will you contact her?" Jasper asked. "I don't trust you to meet with her independently. I'm sorry."

She nodded. "I have a cell phone number for her. I can make the call whenever we determine what to do."

Jasper nodded.

"Um, do you have a map? I can give you some information about the layout of the property and what you can expect to encounter." Carlisle retreated to his study and returned with a USGS topographic map for Alaska. Tanya took a pencil and began drawing details about the property – the location of the cabin where the girls were being held, fence and tree lines, the main house on the property, and several others features she thought might be of interest.

By the middle of the night, we had a solid plan and were ready for Tanya to make the call. I immediately opened my shield, needing to hear what was going on inside of Tanya's head as she spoke with Victoria.

"Victoria, it's Tanya. I have some information for you."

"Tanya. I wasn't expecting to hear from you tonight." Victoria's voice caused a chill of revulsion to run down my back.

"And I wasn't expecting to be in touch. But as I said, I have some information I thought you would be interested in. However, if you aren't, I'll be going."

"Don't be hasty, Tanya. What do you have for me?"

"Our coven went to visit the Cullens this morning. Alice had a vision."

"Ah, Alice. And what was her vision?" Jasper gripped Alice's hand. I felt for her having to hear Victoria talk so casually about her.

"She saw the cabin where you're keeping the girls and that they could stage an effective rescue attempt at three o'clock in the morning on Friday."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes. I'm pretty sure they're planning on attempting it."

"Pretty sure or sure, Tanya? There's a big difference between them."

"Sure. I'm sure."

"Hmm."

"Victoria, this is our perfect chance. We know what time they're coming. We let them go in and surround them. It's full-proof. By the time they realize, it'll be too late."

"It does seem deliciously simple, doesn't it? You've proven quite a friend, Tanya. Is Edward really worth all this deception?" she asked with dark mirth in her voice.

Tanya quickly flashed an apologetic gaze at me. I felt Edward's arms slip around me. "I would do anything for Edward. He _will_ be my mate," she hissed. The only thing that kept me in my seat was Tanya's repeated apologetic thoughts and reassurance that it was an act.

"Very well, Tanya. We'll assemble at one a.m. Friday at the usual place."

"I'll be there, but I was also thinking that I could come in with the Cullens, make them think I was on their side."

Victoria didn't respond for a moment and we all tensed, wondering if Tanya had taken it a step too far. But then Victoria began chuckling. "You are one devious bitch, Tanya. I rather like it. Fine. See you on the flip side, then."

The line went dead, and everyone released a collective sigh of relief.

Eleazar volunteered the Denalis to stay the night, hoping our ability to keep an eye on Tanya would help reassure us. It did, though I had no intention of spending any more time in a room with her than was absolutely necessary. After another hour of strategizing, Edward and I finally retired to our room.

We laid down on the bed, on our sides facing one another, our legs intertwined and our faces close enough to exchange soft kisses.

_Are you okay, love?_

_I don't know. I feel kinda numb. It's so much to take in._

_You're handling it with such grace, Bella. Truly._

I scoffed. _I just want to be with you, Edward. I wish things were simple and we could just be together._

He smiled at me and stroked my cheek with his fingers. _We will. We could take time away for our honeymoon. As much as you like._

I smiled at him. I cupped my hand around his and pressed it into my cheek.

_Hold me, Edward. Please?_

He threaded an arm under my neck and drew my body even closer, tucking my head under his chin.

"I love you, Edward," I said out loud.

"I love you too, Bella, with my life."

It felt so good, so right to lay there like that with him.

It was the calm before the storm.

* * *

I've always been very intrigued by Bella's future-telling dreams in the series. The first time I read the books, I was sure that precognition would somehow end up a part of Bella's powers, given the number of times in the four books she had dreams that ended up coming true. But then nothing was made of it after she changed. So I decided to play with that idea a little here. In case you're curious, the two dreams Bella describes here can be found in Twilight, p. 68 and 130-31 (I personally didn't catch the NM foreshadowing in the dream on p. 68 until the third time I read Twilight...). There are several other times throughout the books when she has other precognitive (i.e., future-telling) dreams. So you get more here about how her powers work and see her starting to gain some control over them.

So, another action-packed chapter. Let me know what you thought about all the twists and turns here!


	16. Chapter 16: Fight for Our Loves

Hello. My name is Laura Cullen. And this story is While You Were Gone. Remember us? Once upon a time, we updated at regular intervals. And then real life caused epic story update fail. And months went by without updates.

My bad.

But, never fear, as I've said to countless folks who have checked in to ask (and thanks for that!)--I have no intension of dropping this story unfinished.

So, if anybody's still reading, and if anybody remembers what the heck's going on anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Perhaps a brief recap is in order:

Ch. 14: Jake showed up in Alaska to say Charlie had been attacked and Victoria was in Alaska after Bella

Ch. 15: Months of waiting for Victoria to do something passed and Bella intercepted a note inviting her to come "play" on a Friday night, finally indicating when the long-awaited confrontation would occur. Bella also accepted Edward's marriage proposal.

And, now, Chapter 16, for your reading pleasure...

* * *

BPOV

By 11 p.m. on Thursday night, all of us had taken up our posts around the perimeter of Tanya's property.

We broke into teams: I was with Edward, Emmett, Eleazar, and Tanya – I refused to have her out of my sight. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Carmen made up the second team and Carlisle, Esme, Kate, and Irina made up the third. The wolves made up a fourth team. Strategically, we'd worked out positioning so that Alice would be far away from me – so I didn't accidentally include her within my shield and chance another consciousness-stealing dream, and from the wolves – so that her own precognitive abilities remained in force.

Our challenges were numerous and weighed heavily on us all. So many things could go wrong. Victoria's vindictiveness and ruthlessness, her newborn army's wildness, my own newness, Tanya's untrustworthiness…these were only a few of the possible problems we faced.

Following a late-night follow-up call from Victoria, Tanya assured us that her plans remained the same: she was meeting with her army about two miles east of the property at one a.m. She had two sentinels posted on the property – luckily the two newborns Tanya had met the day she followed them back to Victoria's lair – and neither had any apparent special powers. Victoria was planning to move her people into place at about 2:45 a.m.

Our plan, therefore, was to get in and get the three girls out by 12:30, and then to return for our fake rescue attempt at 3 a.m. However, we would leave the wolves and the Denalis at the cabin, in effect surrounding Victoria's army from the inside and the outside without them ever knowing.

At least that was the plan.

During the rescue effort, the wolves served as a border patrol and relayed information through their thoughts back to Edward, reassuring him that the coast remained clear. The three teams of vampires each approached from a different direction and within minutes we were at the edges of the surrounding forest with the cabin in our sights.

Edward's thoughts captured my attention: _Alice says you should hang back from the cabin, love. One of the girls is bleeding from trying to break down the cellar door._

I frowned up at him, frustrated and angered by the thought of not being able to help.

_She sees you attacking the girl if you go in. You won't be able to resist your first smell of flowing human blood this early after your change._

My shoulders dropped and I nodded.

Edward did a quick survey that confirmed what Tanya had already told us: there were two sentries posted at the cabin – one inside and one outside. And then there were the three girls in the basement, whom he could also perceive. Everyone else was one of us.

Each team sent two people to the cabin to assist with removing the guards and rescuing the girls.

I kissed Edward as he and Emmett stepped away, hating the thought of not being by his side. My ability to hear him offered some small solace. From another direction I saw Jasper and Rose approach, and from the final direction came Carlisle and Kate.

Everyone agreed that this rescue seemed easier than they ever imagined. Jasper emotionally stunned the exterior guard, whom Emmett decapitated when the older man began to snap and hiss at him despite Jasper's efforts. While Carlisle had argued for preserving the newborns' lives, Eleazar's argument that a large population of newborns was bound to attract the Volturi's attention – and no one wanted them to come here – won most over to Eleazar's belief that they had to be eliminated, despite everyone's regret. The quiet scuffle outside was enough to alert the interior guard that something was going on, and Kate shocked him with her touch when he opened the door, then Rosalie took the blond male out.

Jasper wanted away from the girl's human blood too, so he and Emmett carried the two corpses away from the cabin to be hidden somewhere in the forest. We couldn't risk burning them until after the confrontation with Victoria.

I gasped as Edward smelled the injured girl's flowing blood – even through his thoughts the smell was succulent and intoxicating. I immediately dropped him from my shield, losing everyone else's thoughts in the process. Eleazar heard my distress and stepped towards me, instinctively wrapping his arms around me and holding me to him.

I swallowed convulsively several times, so grateful for having glutted myself in a hunt earlier in the day – the fact that I was fully sated was probably the only thing that kept me from pursuing that smell to its destination on the arm of a brown-haired, brown-eyed human girl. After a couple minutes I murmured my thanks to Eleazar and he dropped his arms. But he didn't step away.

Edward and Rose brought the three girls out of the cabin. One was unconscious from a head injury, and the other two Edward and Rose dazzled into a stupor. Esme and Carmen then ran the girls back through the forest to a waiting car. They hated to separate from us in the midst of a fight, but we couldn't allow the girls to remain in harm's way, nor could we leave them unattended. Thus, the matrons of each coven were driving them to Anchorage and leaving them where the authorities could find them. Alice had foreseen that the girls had little idea of who or what had taken them, and wouldn't say anything that would implicate an otherworldly perpetrator.

Once the human blood, and all thoughts of it, were gone, I extended my shield again and brought Edward back in.

His panicked thoughts caught my attention. Every few seconds he was thinking my name, calling out to me and wondering why he couldn't hear me anymore.

_I'm okay, Edward_.

_What happened?_

I didn't respond right away, ashamed to admit that the girl's blood had been so tempting.

_Bella?_

_The blood_, I thought, simply.

_I'm sorry, Bella. Are you okay?_

_Yeah. Just come back._

_We're wrapping up now_.

Moments later, Edward returned and pulled me into his arms.

_I wanted it_.

_I know, love. It's completely natural. But you resisted it, Bella, which, given your age, is completely incredible._

I sighed, hoping my ability to restrain myself around Jake meant I didn't suffer the bloodlust of a normal vampire.

_Jake's not human, though_, Edward thought.

_I know. I was just hoping….because of Charlie…._ Since he thought I was dead, I knew he couldn't see me again, but I was longing for the day when I could see him.

_Give it time, Bella. It's only been three months. You _are_ further ahead than most, love. The very fact that you kept yourself from coming into that cabin proves it._

Jasper's thoughts captured our attention and we all gathered on the side of the cabin to regroup.

"So far, so good," he whispered, looking at his watch and noting the time at 12:20 a.m. He pulled out a map and he and Tanya conferred about where Victoria would enter and the group went over the strategy one last time about how to force Victoria's army into a particular path on the property.

Just then, the vibrating of Tanya's cell phone startled everyone.

"It's Victoria," she whispered. Then she flipped it open. "Yes?" she answered. Her voice, at normal volume, shattered the midnight silence and echoed around the yard.

We all concentrated on hearing both sides of the conversation.

"Something doesn't feel right, Tanya. Are they still coming in at three?"

"Um, yes," Tanya replied.

"Can you talk freely?"

"One second," Tanya stalled, wanting Victoria to think she was stealing away to get privacy to talk. "Why are you calling now," Tanya whispered loudly into the phone after a bit.

"I told you. Something's not right. Riley's not answering his cell. We're going in now."

"_What?_" Tanya choked out. "If you go in now, Alice might see it and they won't come. Then you'll miss this perfect opportunity to ambush them. You know they're coming in, like, two hours. Just wait."

There was a long pause on the other end.

Edward stepped away from the group and pulled out his cell phone. After a moment, Jake picked up on the other end. "Listen carefully, Jake, I think we're getting company earlier than planned. Pull the pack back and sit tight. Let me know if you see anything heading our way."

Just as Victoria responded, "No, we're doing this now," to Tanya, Jake said, "Oh shit. Incoming. I've got three here," to Edward. Then both lines went dead.

"This is happening now," Edward called as he jogged back to the group, and the others were already agreeing.

"Shit," Jasper spat. "We have to assume _they've_ surrounded _us_ then. We're still numerically stronger, and we still have the wolves as a surprise weapon."

"And we still have surprise on our side," Carlisle interjected, "they don't _know_ we're here."

"Although Victoria's clearly on alert because Riley's not responding to her calls. Riley was the blond-haired one," Tanya added.

Everyone conferred for another minute and then took concealed places around the yard.

We hadn't done it a minute too soon.

Two newborns stepped through the trees at the place closest to the cabin.

I was thinking that it was odd that two would come out alone if Victoria was bringing her whole army in now when Edward nodded, looking at me and agreeing. We had squeezed ourselves in between two huge stacks of chopped firewood off the side of the house.

All of a sudden I started feeling hot – which was odd not only because it was a winter night in Alaska, but also because I just wasn't generally sensitive to temperature anymore as a vampire. But I was distinctly…hot. Edward heard my thoughts and frowned at me. Just then, a small noise echoed across the yard and the two newborns were running towards it.

In her hiding position behind an outbuilding, Irina had apparently stepped on a dried leaf, and the crunching sound rung out through the tense quiet. Unbelievably, out of nowhere she burst into flames and her shrieks rang through the air.

Then everything started happening at once.

From their respective hiding places, Tanya and Kate screamed and bolted, wanting to help their sister.

The newborns, sensing the movement, turned to take on the new threat.

I threw out my shield around them just as the red-haired vampire directed his heat at them. My mind sensed a blast of warmth against the edge of my shield, but the Denali girls remained safe.

Then I realized.

"He's a firestarter!" I exclaimed to Edward.

I raised my head up above the edge of the wood pile and looked at the two vampires, now closing in on Tanya and Kate.

"Bella!" Edward called, worried about me giving myself away.

But I knew what I had to do.

I pulled the two males into my shield, and felt the fire. My anger surged at the sight of the purple fire of Irina's loss burning in the distance. I concentrated hard on this new power, and turned the fire against our two enemies.

The two males burst into flames mid-stride. They screamed and fell to the ground. Kate twisted out of the way just in time, but Tanya wasn't as lucky. The firestarter had sprung at her just as I attacked and he'd grabbed at her arm as he ignited. Tanya screeched as the flames licked at her, but rolled away from the center of the conflagration. Her arm was badly injured, and Kate helped drag her behind a tree.

The three fires illuminated the night now, and the woods seemed alive with motion. We were, indeed, surrounded.

Edward pulled me back down into the wood pile.

_Christ, Bella, are you okay?_

_I…yeah…shit._

_Do you still have that power?_

I thought. _Yes, but it's weakening._

Edward nodded. _Concentrate, while you still have it. See if you can hear any of the approaching vampires and direct whatever remaining power you have at them._

I didn't bother nodding. I started concentrating immediately, sensing that the firestarter was almost gone, and with his death would go my access to his power.

I crouched up so I could add my eyes to the task and threw out a burst of heat. A scream just inside the tree line told me I'd hit my mark and an unseen newborn fell to the ground and writhed in pain.

_Shit, Edward. The trees!_

Edward nodded, seeing what I was concerned about. The burning vampire had collapsed against the base of a tree, and the fire was already licking up the trunk.

_One thing at a time, Bella._

_We got company over here,_ Emmett's thought interrupted. Edward and I turned our attention to the front of the cabin, where we knew Emmett and Rose were hiding behind some bushes. Out from the trees along the front driveway emerged three more vampires. They stuck closely to the treeline.

Still no Victoria.

From the far side of the yard, three more vampires appeared at the same time.

_I thought she only had nine!_ I thought and looked at Edward.

I looked at this new threat and tried to find the heat again, but it was gone.

Edward's thoughts were as worried about their larger-than-expected numbers, but he pushed his worry aside in favor of strategy. _Do they have any other powers, Bella?_

One by one, I pulled them into my shield long enough to assess them.

The first one had nothing, and he was so new that all he was thinking about was blood. I shoved him and his problematic bloodlust right back out of my head.

The second one seemed more in control, but also had no special talents that I could perceive.

I gasped upon pulling in the third one, whose thoughts revealed that Victoria and two more vampires were just beyond the tree line. Clearly, she had made more newborns recently.

The ones coming from the far side were useless to me.

I looked to the ones stealthily approaching Rose and Emmett's position. First one, no. Second one, no. Third one, no.

_Damnit! I shouldn't have killed that firestarter so soon!_

_Don't worry about—_

Edward's thoughts were cut off by the first group of vampires sensing Rose and Emmett's hiding place at the front of the house. All at once, the five of them were engaged in hand-to-hand combat in the front yard. Jasper and Carlisle were next closest to the front, and darted out from their hiding places to assist. Thundering collisions, feral growls, and pained shrieks captured the attention of the second group of newborns who took off to help in the fight. That made it six of them against four of us.

We were next closest.

Edward turned to me. _Stay here, Bella._

_Edward!_

_Please_, he called out as he disappeared from his place next to me.

I swallowed a whimper, hating my pledge to him earlier in the day that I would stay out of the fighting if at all possible. Edward was too concerned that he wouldn't be able to concentrate if he was worried about protecting me. And though I had been practicing fighting, and the guys had been training me, I still consistently made newborn mistakes time and time again. So Edward urged me to use my powers to assist if I could, and Jasper had sided with Edward.

Kate left an injured Tanya hiding behind a tree and darted off to help, seeing Edward dash from his position. I could tell the moment she engaged because she began shocking everything she could get her hands on. Eleazar joined the fight from his position behind a junked truck. Only me, Alice, and Tanya weren't in the fight at this point.

"Fucker!" Jasper called out just before he decapitated a newborn that had sunk his teeth into Jasper's shoulder.

It was incredibly hard to track what was happening in the fight, as they were all moving at inhuman speeds. Body parts were flying and pieces of the cabin were being knocked down as bodies slammed into it over and over.

I was going crazy hiding behind the wood pile watching my friends and family fight for their lives, for their loves. It was infuriating to once again need to be the one to be protected, to once again be the one who couldn't contribute.

I had just resolved to join in the fight when three more vampires stepped out of the woods immediately behind the wood pile. I couldn't see them, as I remained hidden, but I heard their thoughts and I heard the one voice I most – and least – wanted to hear.

"Remember. The Swan girl is mine. Stun her but don't harm her."

"Yes, Victoria," two voices replied in unison.

_Stun?_

I ducked further down, willing myself to disappear into the ground, as the three vampires marched past my hidden position. I figured it was safer to get up once their backs were towards me.

I started to inch out of my crouch as the three vampires approached the fight. Their casual approach seemed odd to me. They were neither hurrying nor particularly careful.

And then everything stilled. All the noise, all the commotion – all of it was gone.

I peaked above the top of the wood pile and gaped as I saw that the battle was frozen in place. It was just as if someone had hit the 'pause' button on a movie.

Edward, his shirt hanging in tatters, was lunging after a female vampire who had her arms around Rosalie's neck. Emmett appeared to be mid-bite and was hovering over a male vampire on the ground right in front of Rose.

Carlisle was flipping a male vampire over his head and Eleazer had his teeth buried in the neck of a female vampire that he held in a chokehold. Jasper had a big male pinned against the front of the cabin but appeared to be struggling to hold him there, and Kate was mid-sprint heading for Jasper.

I was relieved to see everyone on our side still standing.

I began evaluating the three vampires in front of me – one of them was responsible for whatever power had incapacitated those engaged in battle. I had just ruled out Victoria and the black-haired male, narrowing the possibilities down to one, when my foot slipped on a piece of bark on the ground.

It was a small thing, really, hardly making any noise at all.

But against the silence of the now-still night, it rang out like a bell.

Victoria spun around.

She smiled darkly when she saw me.

I threw my shield around the bald vampire with the freezing talent and latched onto his power.

He began to turn, and I knew if he saw me it would be too late.

Not sure if I actually had a handle on it, I said a prayer and concentrated and directed the freeze towards Victoria and her underlings.

And then I was the only creature moving anywhere in sight.

The look on the talented vampire's face was completely stunned. Victoria's face was stilled in the same dark sneer. And the black-haired male next to her was caught mid-stride turning to face me.

Thankfully I heard Alice's thoughts as she approached, else I probably would have thrown the male's vampire surprising power at her too.

"Oh, thank God, Alice," I exclaimed, grateful to not be alone. We hugged quickly. "What the hell do we do now?"

"We started killing us some newborns," Tanya called weakly as she limped over from her hiding place.

Alice nodded. "Absolutely."

Leaving Victoria and her compatriots for now, the three of us walked into the heart of the frozen battle. Alice focused her attention first on the big guy giving her mate a hard time, and tore his head clear off his otherwise still body. I took care of Rose's attackers – both the one around her neck and the one under Emmett in front of her, who had clearly raised Emmett's ire for trying to hurt his wife.

They were the first sentient lives I had ever ended. A small niggling of guilt tried to creep inside my head but I shoved it away. Much as I never wanted to be responsible for ending a life, if it came down to a choice over my family, I would also choose fighting for them, for our lives, for our loves, every single time.

Despite the fact that her arm was not fully attached, the fire having devastated the connective tissue, Tanya was an eager participant. Her thoughts revealed that she saw her assistance here as a form of penance for her disloyalty. I didn't know if I could ever forgive her, ever trust her, but this was a small step in the right direction. Tanya took out the vampire in Eleazar's arms and the black-haired soldier next to Victoria. Our eyes met brief and she nodded at me. I nodded back.

Meanwhile, Alice climbed up Carlisle's body, apologizing to him as she did so, to get to the vampire he was swinging over his head. From her perch on Carlisle's shoulders, she reached up and decapitated the long-haired male. She threw the head to the ground and kissed Carlisle on the check before jumping down.

That left just Victoria and the male with the power.

"Should I just kill them? Or should I unfreeze him first? Nothing I do seems to have any effect on releasing the others." I looked at Alice and Tanya, both of whom looked thoughtful as they approached my position in front of Victoria.

Alice's eyes glazed over as she searched through the consequences of different alternatives.

"Kill him, kill his power," she said after a minute.

"Gladly," I declared as I reached up and removed his head in one wrenching grasp. His body fell to the ground in a clump, and a series of rumbles echoed from in front of the house where a dozen hard vampire bodies reanimated and most fell to the ground, some as a result of death, some as a result of physics.

A chorus of groans and confused questions rang out as the others assessed the odd killing field in which they stood or lay.

But I kept all of my attention right in front of me, watching as Victoria's smug expression transformed first into confusion and then into fear.

She took a step back and crashed into Emmett's broad unyielding chest. Then she did a quick survey and realized she was hopelessly surrounded.

"Nine versus one," I said quietly. "Not good odds, I'd say."

"Make that twelve versus one," a voice behind me called. Jake and the wolves had arrived.

"Even worse," I agreed, still staring into Victoria's horrible red eyes, eyes that were skittering around, obviously evaluating all possible options for escape.

She took a small step to the right. I anticipated it, moving a second before her.

A moment later, she took a forward step. I mirrored it again.

I smiled as she frowned and I reveled in the confusion of her thoughts.

I tapped my forehead. "I have special powers too," I said, allowing some smugness to seep into my voice as her eyebrows flew up and her mouth dropped open.

I flashed my hand forward and grasped her left arm, crushing it in my grip. Victoria wailed and fell to her knees as I twisted her mangled appendage.

Edward flashed to my side and whispered urgent, soothing words into my ears, trying to convince me that I didn't want to do this. I looked at him, outraged and confused. He struggled in his mind to convince me, and then played a memory through his head.

In it, he had James pinned up against the wall in the ballet studio. James was injured and struggling, and Edward had the obvious advantage. All it would take was one targeted bite into James's neck. And Edward had wanted so badly to end him.

But then Carlisle had placed a restraining hand on Edward's shoulder and told him to make a choice, told him he was better than what he was about to do. And, hard as it was, Edward knew Carlisle was right. Edward knew that giving into his desire for revenge would taint him, would take away from some of what he had been struggling to become for nearly a century.

And then I got it.

If I killed Victoria out of revenge – even though I was entirely justified in doing so – I would be blackening a part of my soul. And in so doing, I would be letting her win, just a little bit.

"Bella?" Jake's voice was serious, almost pleading. "Let me take care of this, please? We failed to protect Charlie in the first place. It would be an honor if you would let me make this right by you now."

Slowly, I dropped my hand from Victoria's crushed arm and my eyes from her face, and turned my head to Jake.

"Please, Bella?"

I looked back to Edward. He kissed my forehead and nodded. "You've done enough, Bella. You did all of this," he said, motioning around us. "You saved us all. Maybe the dogs can be good for something, after all," he teased, though his tone was full of respect and Jake only smirked and rolled his eyes.

I eyed the rest of the gathered group. And everyone agreed.

Except for Rosalie. Who had been itching to end Victoria and had made me promise months ago that I'd let her help.

Rose grabbed Victoria's hair in one hand and wrenched her into a standing position, and then twisted her mangled arm behind her back and began marching her in the direction of the rest of the pack, who had stayed back from the discussion.

Jake followed her. "Maybe you're not so bad after all, blondie," he chided.

"Fuck you, dog. Now are you gonna help me dispose of this garbage, or are you gonna stand there running your yap all night?"

Rose and Jake disappeared into the edge of the woods and the sound of tearing metal rang out after a minute.

A wet snow started to fall, and we hurried to gather body parts to light a fire before the precipitation made it impossible. Soon, new ripples of purple flames burned around the property as Victoria's army went up in smoke.

Rose and Jake added Victoria's body to the nearest pile. And the brief intensification of the fire there represented the last of her threat to me, to any of us. I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled a small, tired smile as Rose and Jake shook hands and reached a grudging truce.

It was over.

It was all really over.

I retracted my shield, longing for peace and silence, and turned my body into Edward's. I buried my face against his chest and inhaled deeply, seeking to replace the stench of burning flesh with the warm spiciness that was Edward's inviting scent. He wrapped his arms against me, cocooning me in his sheltering embrace.

After months of looming threat, mind-numbing waiting, and intense stress, it was finally over.

We could finally just be us.

We had fought for our lives, our loves. And we had won.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. Only 1-2 chapters left.

This story was recently nominated for several Moonlight Awards (best vampire Bella, and best Twilight Saga fan fic). Go here to vote if you're so inclined: .

Reviews are always read and greatly appreciated!

* * *

10/26: Hi guys:

I hope you don't mind my asking a favor that amounts to a little self promotion...

I am trying to get an original novel published and just today found an online contest in which the grand prize is a publishing contract with a publishing house on my to-query list. The contest requires votes by 11/1 for the story which is posted in part on the website textnovel . com. I would be forever grateful if you would consider popping over to vote--_Forever Freed_ is a paranormal romance involving vampires, so it's not too far off our beaten path over here in the Twilight world. Book description is below (you don't have to _read_, although of course that would be great, but I would _love it_ if you would vote :) ). **http:// textnovel . com/ stories_list_?story_id=2092** (*please click both the thumbs up and cell phone symbols, that way I get two votes, in effect). Hopefully it's not too inconvenient--you might have to register (free) as a reader. (By the way, you can vote for more than one person/story!)

_Forever Freed_: Lucien Demarco is a heartbroken vampire who unexpectedly falls in love with a woman he planned to kill and her daughter. Despite feeling unworthy, Lucien cautiously hopes for a second chance--for romantic love, for fatherhood, for a family. To hold onto his new-found happiness, Lucien must only fight his century-old guilt, his bloodlust, the consequences of his lie by omission regarding his true nature, and an old and jealous vampire rival who threatens to strip him of all he holds dear.

Thanks for your consideration!  
Laura (I used my Laura Cullen pen name over there too...)


	17. Chapter 17: Together, Forever

Well, folks, it's not October, but it at least we're talking about an update in a matter of weeks rather than months.

And so, I bring you, without further ado, the conclusion of this New Moon Saga. I hope you enjoy. And I'll see you down below.

SM owns, of course.

* * *

One Month Later

BPOV

The sun rose at the beginning of a cool Alaskan summer day as I snuggled into Edward's panting chest in our room.

"Good morning, love," he chuckled as he kissed the top of my head.

"Yes, yes it is," I replied as I pressed a prolonged kiss against his bare chest. "We should start every day like this," I mused, still reveling in our post-coital glow.

Edward laughed – a sound I was hearing more and more these days – and agreed. "Your wish, Bella, my command."

I pushed up into a sitting position and stretched my arms above my head.

Edward groaned behind me. "We're not going to get out of this bed if you keep doing that."

"Promises, promises." I turned and started to crawl back up his body when a knock rapped against our door.

"Go away, Alice," Edward and I said in unison as we kept our eyes on each other.

"Make yourselves decent," she hollered as she pushed through anyway.

"For God's sake, Alice," Edward grumbled as he pulled the sheet up over my body on top of him. Alice plopped herself on the edge of our bed and pulled a leg up underneath her. Edward rolled his eyes. "Well?" he finally said when she didn't immediately make known the reason for her intrusion.

"It's been a month," she said.

I immediately knew what she was talking about. Today was a month since the fight against Victoria's newborns. A month since Irina's death.

I nodded as I slid off Edward and into a sitting position. Alice handed me a t-shirt off the floor and turned her head away while I pulled it on.

"I'm still worried it's too soon," I murmured. Edward's hand stroked soothingly along my spine. "What do you think?" I asked him.

Given how the battle had united our two covens, I was hesitant to do anything to damage the relationship. And I feared that having a wedding so soon after Irina's death and memorial would be insensitive to the Denalis' grieving. It wasn't like time was an issue for us anyway.

Edward sat up next to me and pushed my hair back over my shoulder. I heard and smiled at his kneejerk reaction: _I can't marry you soon enough_. But I appreciated the more thoughtful response he voiced: "You know, Bella, that I am willing to wait until you are comfortable doing this. But, honestly, not only do I think the Denalis would be fine with our marrying now, but I think it could possibly offer them a pleasant distraction from their grief for a few hours."

Edward was probably right. Indeed, I knew from the time we'd spent with Eleazar and Carmen that they felt a certain affection for me. Though they lost a 'daughter' in the fight, my talents – I begrudgingly acknowledged – played a large role in ensuring the rest of us emerged from the conflict largely unharmed. And they'd seen how I'd saved Kate and Tanya when the firestarter attacked.

I sucked in a breath to say "okay" when Alice squealed and jumped off the bed and started clapping.

I sighed in defeat, but grinned too, especially once I saw the gorgeous smile on Edward's face.

"Okay, Alice."

In a flash she settled back on the bed, serious and focused. It made me giggle.

"Oh, it's going to be beautiful," she gasped, her eyes glazing as an image of the day flashed through her mind. "Please let me help."

"Of course I'll let you help, Alice. Actually, I was hoping you'd be my—"

She tackled me to the bed before I'd even finished. "Yes! I'd love to be your matron of honor!" Finally she sat up off of me and grabbed my hands to pull me back up.

Edward reached for and took my hand in his. I met his eyes and pulled his hand to my lips. He looked positively joyous. It affirmed my decision – it was time. Time for me to honor the commitment I'd made when he'd asked me to marry him. Time for us to be together in every way there was to be together.

"Oh my," Alice murmured, deep in thought. "A month, eh? That's pushing it, Bella. But…okay. I can make it work."

Edward chuckled as his sister continued to think out loud.

From that moment on, the entire family was caught up in wedding planning, despite the fact that there really wasn't that much to plan. At least, I didn't think so. I mean, after all, it was only our family, the Denalis, and the wolves.

Although there were a few more Quileutes here now that Jake had called home to tell them he'd met someone. In the month since the battle, he and the other wolves had been able to relax and sightsee some since they were no longer 'on duty' scouting for us. During the first week of his travels, Jake had met a Tlingit girl named Sheyla and immediately knew they were fated to be together. That was when he'd first explained to me about imprinting. It was apparently a pretty big deal, which was why the rest of the pack had come to meet Jake's soulmate. Sheyla would be a senior in high school this coming school year, so Jake's immediate plans would be keeping him here in Alaska. I found that sorta comforting.

One of the hardest parts of the wedding planning was keeping my dress secret from Edward. Which meant keeping him out of my head. I wasn't very good at blocking my thoughts from him when he was inside my shield. So in order to keep my dress a surprise, I had to keep my shield closed to him altogether. And I'd become so used to the velvety feel of him inside my head that it was hard to go without him.

We compensated by spending every possible moment together. Not too long ago, we'd lamented the fact that things always seemed to prevent us from just being. Now that those things were gone, we reveled in the quiet times. The alone times. The times when we just hung out with his family. The times we could be us. The times we could lose ourselves in each other's passionate embrace.

Celebrating the small and the ordinary and the normal parts of life with Edward and the rest of the family made the time fly. And soon it was our big day.

EPOV

So fast and not fast enough, the morning of August 13th dawned: our wedding day. _Our. Wedding. Day._ For so many reasons it was absolutely miraculous that this day was here.

For it wasn't so very long ago that I assumed I'd never see Bella again. Never feel her arms embracing me. Never see her accepting gaze. Never hear her words of love. It wasn't so long ago that I'd given myself up to the idea of a life of longing, of yearning, of wanting, but never having. It wasn't so long ago that my grief over all this had suffocated the life right out of me, leaving me with nothing to look forward to but an eternity of pain. An ache that would only end when Bella left this earth, and I could seek my end as well.

But now.

Where once there was only emptiness, now there was a life full of love and belonging. Where once there was only pain, now there was such joy that it seemed to illuminate new colors in the world I'd never been able to see before. Where once there was no hope, now there was a world filled with possibilities and second chances.

And the difference? The difference was Bella. The difference was our love and her forgiveness. And mine – because, she was right, I had to forgive myself too. Not just for the colossal mistake that was my leaving her that awful day last September. But also for what I am, and the things that I had done in my life. For all of it.

It was nine in the morning, and the ceremony would begin at noon. It was nine hours since I'd last seen Bella. The Alice-enforced separation was our longest since before the battle with Victoria. My desire to see her, to hold her, was causing a literal pain in the center of my chest, so visceral was my need to be in her presence.

"You know," Jasper said, wincing a little and smirking, "this angst you're feeling is killing me."

"Sorry," I chuckled, knowing he was razzing me for my nerves.

The two of us were hanging out listening to music while Emmett and Alice took Bella for a pre-wedding hunt. She was insistent on sating herself so she could handle Sheyla attending the wedding. Imprinting apparently made it impossible for Jacob to withhold information from his betrothed, so she was aware of what we were. Thankfully, her relationship with Jacob bound her through the treaty to keep our secret. Once she learned how close Jacob and Bella were, she was willing to see if Bella could handle her presence. Jacob was leary, not surprisingly, but once he had the back-up of the rest of the pack, he was willing to try.

I had never been more proud of Bella than I was that day -- the day her humanity trounced her newborn nature in a landslide victory. Separated by a small field, Bella had handled being in Sheyla's presence like she was a vampire twenty times her actual age. Not once did bloodlust invade her thoughts or challenge her calm control.

Bella's euphoria at her accomplishment was complete. Because it meant she could have Jacob at the wedding (though he planned to keep Sheyla back from the immediate vicinity of the ceremony). But, more importantly, because it also meant that it wouldn't be long before she could chance seeing Charlie again. Now it was a question of when rather than if, and her pleasure at that realization was so very gratifying to see.

Jasper's voice pulled me out of my musing. "I'm a little out of practice for it, is all."

I frowned and looked at him curiously. I hadn't been paying enough attention to follow how his thoughts had led to that statement.

He smiled. _It's just, you're _so happy_ now, Edward. I didn't realize just how deeply I'd felt your pain and loneliness all those years until the past few months. The ache had become so familiar that I didn't even realize it was there anymore. Until recently. Now I feel like I'm on the strongest pain medicine there is. God, Edward, it's such a relief._

I nodded, speechless. I knew exactly what he meant. Then I frowned again.

"Stop that," he said.

"What?"

"Don't feel guilty about what I said. For God's sake, man, don't _look_ for things to feel upset about," he chastised as he smacked me on the shoulder, and knocked the guilt right back out of me. I was an expert at guilt. It was going to take me some time to unlearn that particular bad habit.

"Yeah, okay," I said through a smirk.

I turned my head to the bedroom door just as Carlisle knocked. "Come on in, Carlisle."

He smiled as he entered the room. "It's my job, apparently, to ensure that you are suited up and ready to meet a certain brown-haired beauty in just over two hours."

"I see," I said as I looked from Carlisle's amused face to Jasper, who just shrugged at his mate's antics. "Well, in that case, I guess I'll take a quick shower."

As the water cascaded over me, I couldn't help but smile. Twelve o'clock couldn't come soon enough.

BPOV

I stood in front of the floor-length mirror. I was simply stunned by the image that reflected back to me. I looked…incredible.

Alice, Rosalie, and Esme surrounded me, all visions in their individually designed champagne gowns. Their expressions were full of love and excitement and happiness – for me.

I looked from them – from my family – back to the mirror and took in the moment.

The gown was an elegantly simple ivory sheath with deep v-necks in the front and back and three-quarter-length sleeves. The ivory color cast a warm tone over my now paler skin. My chestnut hair was pulled back on the sides with antique ivory combs Esme lent me as my something borrowed. Otherwise, it hung in long loose curls to the middle of my back and the new rich tones in my hair further accented the warmth of the ensemble. Edward's mother's ring was my something old and my gown was my something new.

I was trying very hard to ignore the fact that my _whole_ family wasn't here. I longed for Charlie's quiet presence and Renee's frenetic energy. While I was thrilled that Carlisle was walking me down the aisle, I couldn't help but fantasize about my daddy – the man who used to carry me on his shoulders and scare boys off with a cutting glance and a well-placed hand on his gun belt – escorting me down the aisle and helping me begin my new life with my soon-to-be husband.

Esme hugged me carefully from behind and leaned her cheek against mine. The compassion on her face melted me a little and I felt a stinging sensation at my nearly topaz eyes that once would've been tears. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I sniffed. "I just…."

"I know, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"I know."

"Bella?"

I glanced up at Rosalie's unusually quiet interruption.

"I have something for you. Well, it's actually from Jacob, but I couldn't let the mutt in here. Obviously." She smirked to cover up the smile that threatened. Killing Victoria had apparently provided something of a bonding experience for the two of them.

Alice giggled and I rolled my eyes.

"Here," Rosalie said softly.

I was curious about her demeanor, which seemed hesitant, especially for Rosalie.

I grabbed the odd circular piece of cloth and turned it over in my hands. My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped in shock.

"What…how…?"

"Jake apparently asked someone from his pack to get it for you when he called to tell them about Sheyla. He thought you'd want a…memento. But we were thinking," Rose said, motioning to the others, "that it could be your something blue."

I choked on a tearless sob and my hand shook as I stared down at the round Forks PD patch on which Charlie's scent still faintly lingered. I knew it was Charlie's scent on some basic instinctual level. It smelled familiar, and felt like home.

I pressed the patch to my chest and stared at the three girls, incredulous. I was hanging on to my composure by the barest thread, torn in equal parts between immense gratitude and utter despair.

"Bella?" Edward's worried voice called through the door.

All three Cullen women yelled a version of the same command: that he not come through that door.

I flew to the door and pressed myself against it. One hand was curled tight around the patch, and the other was flat against the door's smooth surface. I was willing my fingertips to feel him on the other side.

"What's the matter, Bella?" he asked.

"Edward, you're not supposed to be talking to her," Rosalie chided.

"It's okay, Rose," I finally croaked. "I need him, just for a moment."

"I'm sorry, Bella," Rosalie said.

I turned to her. "Don't be. I…really…it means the world to me. I just…." I shook my head and cut myself off.

"Bella? Please talk to me."

"How did you know I was—"

"I don't know…I just knew…and then I felt it in Jasper's thoughts."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Bella."

"I just miss them," I murmured, knowing I didn't have to explain who 'them' was.

"I know, love. God I wish I could touch you."

I smiled and took a deep breath. "Me too. Soon."

"Soon," he echoed.

"I'm okay. I promise." I looked across the room at the clock. "I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay. I absolutely adore you. You know that, right?"

"Yes," I nodded, "and I am madly in love with you."

I heard him chuckle on the other side of the door. "I'm so glad. Okay. I'll be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle."

I stroked the door, feeling the motion of his hand on the other side, and smiled. "I'll be the one in white."

"God, I love you, Bella."

"Me too."

I heard a scuffle on the other side and some chuckling. Apparently the guys had come to reclaim Edward from the girls' side of the house. A kissy-kissy sound on the other side of the door confirmed it, especially when Emmett couldn't stop himself from laughing at his own silliness.

But in true Emmett fashion, he made me laugh, too. And it helped.

I turned around to the girls and offered an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I freaked out. I really do love this. It was a perfect idea."

They all brushed off my apology, insisting it wasn't necessary.

"Here," Alice offered, "let me help you with that."

Reluctantly I handed her the patch and watched in satisfaction as she tucked it securely into the tightly wrapped ivory ribbons around the stems of my bouquet. When she was done, she handed me the bundle of tightly bound roses. "It's time," she whispered with a smile.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

In a blur I was standing in front of our small gathering, my hands clasped tightly in Edward's. His touch grounded me, centered me.

"You look…you're a vision, Bella. Truly," he whispered to me.

"You too," I whispered back with considerably less eloquence.

Eleazar officiated over the ceremony, apparently having been ordained at some point in his life. It was his wedding present to us. And we were so pleased to have someone we knew marry us.

When it was time for me to say the vows we'd decided to write, I was nervous, but the joy on Edward's face gave me the courage to make my words strong and confident.

"Edward, when we found each other, we filled in the holes in the other's heart so completely, that now I find it difficult to know where my soul ends and yours begins. But what I _do_ know is what a beautiful, caring, and generous soul you have. I also know that I feel a sense of belonging as I stand here before you, anticipating with the greatest joy the thought of spending the rest of my life with you, that I've never felt before. I thank you for the way you love me. If we share an eternity of that kind of love, it won't be enough. So, today I choose you for my husband. I promise to love you, honor you, care for you, and be faithful to you, from this day forward and for the rest of our lives."

I took a deep breath and Edward stroked over my knuckles with his thumbs. His eyes sparkled so brilliantly that I couldn't help but think he would be crying if he could. I wanted so desperately to extent my shield out around him, to hear what he was thinking. But I feared if I did I would lose the very little bit of control I had that was keeping me from wrapping myself around his body. Plus I wanted his vows to be a surprise.

"Bella," Edward began with a smile that could only be described as joyful and content, "the most amazing thing I've learned about love is the more love you give, the more you get back. And I know that because you have made me feel so totally filled up with love, so very consumed with it, that I feel a completeness I've not known, well, ever. Because of you there's light, and song, and color in my world. Because of you I know the miracle of hope and joy and faith. Because of you, I've experienced the wonder of humanity and forgiveness. There has never been anyone for me, except you. So, today I choose you for my wife. I promise to love you, honor you, care for you, and be faithful to you, from this day forward and for the rest of our lives."

The tightness was back in my throat again as Edward finished his vows.

Eleazar barely said the words, "I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," before we were in each other's arms. "I guess I don't need to encourage you to kiss the bride," he chuckled.

The kiss was like air. As I threw my shield out around Edward, I knew that both of us needed that physical connection like we'd once needed oxygen. That connection, that physical evidence that we were both here – and always would be – was fundamental to our very survival now.

Emmett snickered under his breath to get a room and Edward and I broke into grins as our lips still met. Finally we pulled away, hands clasped.

Rather than walking down the aisle, the small gathering collapsed around us, offering hugs and words of congratulations. First to us were Jasper and Alice, who had stood up for us during the ceremony.

The reception passed with dancing and food for the Quileutes and just a little toasting and speechifying. I was so focused on Edward that I later realized that Sheyla's presence didn't _once_ cause me a problem.

Then finally, _finally_, we found ourselves all alone in the Cullen mansion.

We stood in the great room, surrounded by the remains of a great party. Edward pulled me into his arms…

And Alice's voice rang out from the front door. "Um, guys?"

Edward groaned. "Seriously, Alice?"

"I'm sorry," she said, and her voice was so full of remorse that my initial irritation went away.

"What is it, Alice? What's wrong?" I asked as she appeared in the doorway to the great room.

"Well, nothing's wrong…."

"Alice," Edward's voice was softer now as he urged her to say what she needed to say.

"Well, if you're willing to try, I think I have a present for you," she said cryptically.

"No, Alice, I don't think that's a good idea," Edward finally said.

I looked between them, my shield not extended at that moment, trying to discern the meaning of Edward's words.

"I had a vision," Alice pushed on, "and I was thinking you might want to see it for yourself."

Edward huffed out a breath as I understood what she was proposing. Since that first time, I had avoided including Alice within my shield, fearful of what would happen if I lost consciousness so completely again. Alice wouldn't be offering unless it was something especially important.

I was torn. I didn't want to upset Edward, particularly not on this day of all days, but I couldn't resist whatever Alice thought I'd want to see.

"Please, Edward? I promise I'll be okay."

"Bella, I could never lose you. Do you understand that?"

"You won't, Edward. I promise. I'll be right here the whole time. And I'll be right back."

"It'll be okay, Edward. I've seen it," Alice reassured.

"Fine," he said, not completely mollified but clearly wanting to give me what I wanted. "Come here, love," he offered as he took my hand and pulled me to the couch. He sat in the corner and spread his legs so that I could settle between them and rest my back against his chest. "I at least need to hold you while you do this."

"Okay," I said as I offered him a small smile and a lingering kiss.

Alice sat on the opposite end of the couch. I nodded at her and she nodded back, and then I threw my shield out around her.

Second passed – five, ten, then thirty. Two minutes ticked by and I was just about to shrug it off in favor of Plan A, jumping my husband on my wedding night, when the vision hit and blackness descended.

_In the dream, I knew the trip was Edward's Christmas gift to me. A week back in Forks, timed when Charlie had taken off a string of days to do some stuff around the house and spend some time with Sue Clearwater, who was quickly and unexpectedly becoming more than a good friend._

_The first clear image that came to me was standing outside of his living room window at night. Sue and Charlie were putting up a Christmas tree, and several boxes of ornaments were scattered around them on the floor. Christmas carols played softly in the background, and Charlie grumbled through the whole ordeal, only shutting up when Sue softly admonished him that I wouldn't want him sitting in a dark, undecorated house at Christmastime._

_Sue hummed along with "Silent Night" and stretched to reach a branch at the top of the tree. Charlie came up behind her and pulled the branch down so she could more easily reach it. She turned to thank him, and he surprised a laugh out of her by spinning her around and taking her in his arms. They kissed once and he took her hand in his, and then they were dancing amidst the boxes and fallen pine needles and other mess that still covered the floor. Charlie smiled._

_Out of nowhere, the living room was gone. Edward and I cuddled on thick blankets in the middle of the meadow under a moonlit sky. He made love to me and whispered words of amazing adoration. That part of the dream ended too quickly._

_The image shifted. And then I was in Charlie's bedroom. He was asleep alone in his bed, flat on his back as he always slept, one arm thrown above his head and the other over his chest. The room was chilly, and when I touched my hand to his, my coldness didn't seem to bother him. I thought to be fearful of being alone with him, but then that fear was gone. It was just a given that I wouldn't, couldn't, hurt him. I sat on the edge of his bed and watched him for some length of him, memorizing the details of him – the crinkles around his eyes, even as he slept, the set of his mouth, the color of his hair, the size of his hands._

"_I'll always love you, Dad," I whispered in the dream._

"_Bella," he murmured. I'd gotten my propensity to talk in my sleep from him, after all._

"_Yes, Dad. I'm here."_

"_Miss you, little girl."_

"_I know, Dad. Me too."_

_Charlie shifted in his bed then and his hand clutched mine._

"_Take care of yourself for me."_

_His words floored me. I knew from Alice's visions right after I'd been changed that it was a long time before he'd accepted the idea that I was really dead. But his subconscious was accepting my presence so readily; it seemed that perhaps some part of him clung to the belief that I was still out there, somewhere._

"_Love you," he murmured._

I gasped back into consciousness, momentarily disoriented. And then twisted in Edward's arms to bury my face against his neck and clutch him to me. As I worked to calm my breathing, I felt Alice kiss the back of my head and rub my shoulders. She and Edward exchanged words that I couldn't concentrate on. I was replaying the vision in my mind for Edward's benefit, and knew I wouldn't be capable of words until he'd seen what I'd seen.

When I was done, I could still only manage thoughts. _I get to see him Edward._

_I know love. I'm so glad._

_And he talks to me._

_His heart knows you, Bella. It's clear._

_Oh God, Edward, thank you._

Edward nodded and pressed soothing kisses against my temple.

Kisses that very quickly escalated my already heightened emotional state and erupted into a fierce need to have him, all of him.

EPOV

The day was simply magical. From beginning to end.

And getting to experience Bella's euphoria at the confirmation that she would get to see her father again, and relatively soon at that, was worth the seven minutes of near-panic I'd endured while she was unconscious. I couldn't imagine that seeing her still, unmoving, unbreathing – as she was when the precognitive dreams gripped her – would ever be any easier. But this time, this time it was so very worth it.

Soft, soothing kisses quickly turned urgent and needful. I pushed us up off the sofa and scooped my bride into my arms. Up in our bedroom, the girls had built a fire in the big stone fireplace and decorated with candles and flowers and a soft romantic canopy over the bed.

The house was ours and ours alone for the next week. We were putting off our honeymoon until our first anniversary. By then Bella would definitely be able to be around people and we could choose our destination based on where we really wanted to go, rather than be dictated by her newborn nature now. It would be something fun to look forward to and plan, together.

But, for right now, all I was looking forward to was claiming my wife. Joining us together for now and forever.

I set Bella down on her feet as I pushed the door shut behind us and she gasped at the alternations to the room.

"It's so beautiful."

"It barely compares to you," I said as I turned her to face me.

"Oh, Edward. Is this real? Am I dreaming?"

"If you're dreaming, love, it's because it's a dream come true. This couldn't be more real. And I couldn't be more grateful."

She reached up as I leaned down and we met in a kiss filled with longing and need and love. She pushed at the jacket on my shoulders and I shrugged out of it as we continued to kiss. Our fingers fumbled together with my tie and the buttons down the front of my shirt. Soon I was shirtless and the feeling of Bella's fingers exploring me set me absolutely afire.

I reached around her and found the zipper to her gown. Carefully, we pulled her arms out of the delicate sleeves and I helped her step out of the luxurious pile of fabric.

_Oh my Bella_.

She was an absolute vision in a nearly sheer white linen and lace shift. It was an undergarment from a different era. I knew enough to know this was very much what I might have seen had we been marrying in 1918.

The thoughtfulness of her gesture astounded me.

_Do you like it?_ she asked silently as she turned around for me.

I cocked an eyebrow at her. _You really need to ask? This is…you look…wow, Bella._

Our bodies found their way back to one another and I could feel every part of her through the fine antique fabric. I kissed down her throat, across her chest, and laved her nipples with my tongue until they stood taut and exposed under the flimsy material. Bella was gasping and moaning and fisting her strong hands in my thick hair.

I walked us backwards until her legs hit the bed. She sat down and pressed kisses to my stomach that caused me to suck my breath in and moan. Then her hands found my belt and the fastenings to my tux pants which she tugged down. She ran her hands over the silk of my boxes. The attention she paid to my hard length was causing me to pant and press my hips forward into her touch.

She grabbed the band at my waist and leaned forward as she pushed them down to my ankles, where I stepped out of them.

_So gorgeous_, she thought as she looked up at me with heavily lidded eyes.

She licked her lips, and then leaned forward again and licked the rigid length standing erect right in front of her.

_Aw, Christ._ I groaned and my hands flew gently to the back of her head as her hands clutched at my hips.

She moved from licking to taking my engorged length in her mouth.

_God you taste good, Edward. So good._

_Oh, Bella, you can't…you can't say something like that right now._

_I'm not _saying_ anything, _she teased, causing me to groan again. Her mouth was taking away every bit of brain capacity I had right at the moment.

_Christ, Bella, that's so fucking good._

I stood, absolutely enthralled at the pleasure she was giving me. But within a half dozen intense strokes I had to push her away.

"That's incredible, Bella. But I need to be in you so bad it hurts."

"Come to me, then," she said as she pulled the shift over her head and it fluttered down next to the bed. She scooted her body back up on the bed as I crawled towards her, a predator after his prey.

Underneath the shift had been a small pair of beautifully detailed lace and pearl panties. But I wasn't of a mind to admire them right at that moment. And they joined the growing pile of clothing on the floor just before I settled my weight atop Bella.

For long moments we kissed and touched and stroked and rubbed and pressed against one another. Our need was a physical presence in the room.

Bella pulled her legs apart and cradled herself around my body. As the tip of my length brushed around the immense heat and moisture of her sex, I could wait no longer.

_Oh God I need you, Bella._

_I need you too, Edward. So take me. Make me yours._

I pressed forward, and inch by inch I found myself, my home, my heart, my forever.

When I was fully sheathed within her, I paused, reveling in the sheer intensity of the moment.

_God, Edward, you feel so good. But I'll go insane if you don't move with me._ She shifted her hips up and we both groaned at the exquisite sensation.

We were connected everywhere. My arms were wrapped underneath her shoulders as hers clutched my back. Her legs were twisted around my own, helping to offer her leverage to meet my hips, thrust for thrust, stroke for stroke. Though our lips hardly ever parted, our eyes remained open. And the connection to her soul was so utterly obvious and complete that whatever lingering doubt I had about the existence of my own soul fell away once and for all.

_More, Edward. Please_.

I tilted my hips and hunched myself around her as I drove harder, faster. She moaned her approval and her nails dug into my lower back and rear as she urged me on and thrust herself against me.

_Fuck, Bella, fuck. I can't believe…I never knew…._ In the moment, I was just too overwhelmed to vocalize just how complete she made me.

She groaned and whimpered as I ground my hips against her pubic bone, wanting, _needing_, to make her fall apart in my arms. My actions made my strokes shorter, deeper, faster, and it didn't take long until the slow contraction of her inner muscles exploded in a frenzy of heat and wet and gasps that frequently included my name.

Feeling her body convulsively grip mine pushed me closer to my release. But I wanted so desperately to draw out our lovemaking as long as possible. So against every physical urge I had, I slowed my pace and began pulling nearly all the way out before slowly pushing all the way back in.

"Edward," she pleaded.

"Sshh, Bella. I want to savor you, love."

"Mmmm," she moaned as she licked her lips and stroked my back.

She was whimpering nonstop and silently begging me to go faster after just a few minutes of the beautiful torture that the slower pace brought. And I was right there with her, needing more, always more, and getting more back from her in return.

Soon I couldn't help but thrust into her fast and hard and deep. My hands clutched her shoulders and also twisted in her hair, causing her to grunt and thrust herself against me with even more ferocity.

"Oh, Bella, oh fuck." I tilted my hips so that my cock stroked that place inside her that made her body so gloriously responsive.

"Don't stop, Edward. Oh, please. _Ungh, God_. Oh…Ed…ward!!!"

As her second orgasm caused her body to arch and contract around me, my climax flashed through me with an intensity that caused the room to spin around us. I continued to ride us through our euphoria, feeling her body milk the release out of mine over and over and over again.

Afterwards, she embraced me so tightly with her arms and legs that it was impossible to tell where she ended and I began. I rolled us to our sides so that I could wrap myself around her just as much.

I don't know how long we lay in the cocoon of our embrace. Or which one of us pushed out of it first. Or whose need led to the second lovemaking, or the third.

We were so connected that whole night that there was no her or me, no Bella or Edward. There was only us. And we simply couldn't get enough of one another.

As the pale pink of the early morning danced around the edges of the room, we found ourselves resting in a loose embrace.

"I am so thankful for you, Bella."

She shifted to look up at me. "Me too, Edward. There's no place I'd rather be at this moment – no place that I'd _ever_ want to be – than right here in your arms."

"Bella, I love you more than life itself."

"And I love you with everything I am."

We continued to share words of commitment and devotion until the need swept us again.

It was the first day of the rest of our lives and we had everything we'd ever need right there in that room. And we had the certainty and security of knowing nothing could ever, _ever_, separate us again. We'd simply never have to worry about what happened to one another while we were gone.

Because we were in this life together.

Forever.

The End.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this ending and the story itself. I would love any and all comments, and read them religiously even though I find it hard to keep up with replying.

I have many thanks to give: to all the readers, to all the reviewers, to the many of you who hung in there through my long hiatus and who PMed me or emailed me to encourage me not to drop the story. Thanks to those of you who have given my other stories a try, or who found their way to this little story after reading The List. Thanks, too, to the many of you who helped support my effort to work on my original fiction by voting for me in the contest over at textnovel(dot)com. And thanks to those of you who nominated this story for various awards over the past several months. I am just filled with gratitude to all of you.

It seemed that timing the end of this with the release of New Moon makes a certain kind of sense, no? I'm hoping you all enjoyed the movie as much as I did. It's fun for me to think about this story now that I have the visual of the movie in my head.

Keep an eye out...I should be featured in an interview on the online podcast called Twigasm soon.

Until we meet again....


End file.
